I woke up this morning and I was sad.
I’m not asking you to fix that,
I’m just asking that you love me until I’m happy again.
Then stay and love me until I’m sad again.
Over.
And over.
And over again.

It feels as if the world 

Has suddenly become as dark as night 
And us as a human race are wandering around lost 

Trying to find the switch so the light can come back on
But what we don’t realize is that it’s too far gone 


You may hear “how many people does it take to change a light bulb?” 

But I say, how many lightbulbs does it take to change people?

I spent ages falling apart 

Just to take the pieces of myself

To patch you back together 

And when you left

You never thought once

To return my pieces

Sometimes I wonder
Where the problem truly lies
Because unlike prophesy says
You cant see pain in someone eyes
No matter how hard you look
Sometimes its deeper than that
I know because the smile I see in the mirror every morning is pretty convincing
Because everyday I can be pretty convincing
You see its not always in the open
Some times the pain is buried behind many locked doors
And a lot of times
We don’t know where to find the key
Tragedy
Is never expected
You didn’t see the president predicting 9/11
And you never would of saw me predicting this
It’s funny
How one second you can be happy
And the next wollowing in despair
Because sometimes you feel like a magician
Making people around you disappear
And it seems like the world is deaf
You scream out and no one seemed to hear
So now your quiet
Now your silent
Living in the world without a voice is violent
Like your hand cuffed
And buried in a coffin
No one you can hear you if you scream
Like tou drowing and ever time you try to open your mouth water fills your lungs
Like your blind folded and cant see
Where life is leading you
Do you ever wonder where your life is leading
Do you ever wonder where you are leading your life
Do you ever wonder
Why you do  things
Or what does it all freakin mean
Do you ever wonder what your missing
It seems like your in a comedy show and everyone is laughing
At something your not quite hearing
Sometimes living without a voice is pretty lonely
But that depression gets to feel *****
Your  reality accepts the silnce
No matter how violent
The pain is now your identity
Depression has stolen your name
You are everything they call you
And at the same time nothing at all
You have let this go on for to long
But you don’t know how to stop
Kind of like an addiction
The silence has grown on you
But what you haven’t noticed
Is that there are people screaming out for help in this world
But you haven’t had time to listen
You have been drowning and couldn’t lend a hand
You have been buried under layers and layers of pain
You secrets have been held so close
You emotions have been put so far back
That you cant remember what feeling them is like
And you have been so focused on how your feeling
That you didn’t care too look around you and see who else is drowning
So silent that instead of speaking on what you saw
You sit back and watch them suffer
You become part of the problem
And its sad
This cycle
Of asking for help
Not getting it
Than not helping anyone else
All you want is for someone to reach out to you
But you can’t reach out to anyone else
We are all drowning
And only if we could work togethere
Maybe
We can get to the surface
Than maybe
We can breathe

I was a good kid
I Kept tighty
I snitched on the wrongs people did
Until everyone hated me for it
Snitches get stitches
For the longest time i didn't listen
Until people started to ignore me because of it
Until i lost friends because of it
Until i was told i was stupid because of it
No one wanted to talk to me cause of it
Tragic
A little girl in 3rd grade being told she's worthless
Because she didn't think you where suppose to write on the board when the teacher wasnt in the room
Because she didn't think cursing was allowed at her private school
Yes i went to private school
Plaid skirt and all
It was as if from 7 to 3 i was there Barbie doll
Dress me up
Skirt and all
Then tell me what to say
The lies you make me say decayed my teath away
The secretes tucked inside of me made me feel afraid
In the 4th grade i was scared of my reflection
In the 5th grade i began to show all they said i was and
Wasn't ready for that
Speaking of the 5th grade i went to public school
Suprise
Barbie got put from maximum security
To a weaker division
Security wasnt as tight
So the other kids wkrds didn't lessen
Bullying went from this hobby to thier full time expression
Until some people promised they liked me
Told me to touch other people
And let other people touch me
Until i was something
And i kept quite
Because snitches got snitches
They started fat jokes in the 6th grade
Poking at my stomache
Metaphorically Writing fatty at my grave
And at this time i want exactly sane
So to stay friends
They said
I had to get skinny
And the best at they did that was to stop eating
Give them my food and i get nothing
With My stomach fat i could survive years on empty
With my stomach fat i was the reason africa went hungry
The best way to stop world hunger
They said
Was to **** me
So i stopped eating
And like every other mental disorder it grew into an obsession
Ana was its nane
And it was like a growing infection
Ana is more than a disease
Its a professional temptress
Baby let me see your porcelain bones
breath in until your lungs explode
Feel more than you can control
and let me take over
I let get take over
But my parents couldn't know
The lies dripped out of my mouth
Like how the snow escapes the cloud
I got lost in a blizzard
Lies and ana and lies and ana
Who needed friends when i had depression
Who needed friends when i was headed towards perfection
Reapeated that i was happy till i believed it
Than she came along
Told me that real friends didn't hurt you like that
And that i was already perfect
That i life was worth living
And that i could escape depression
Promised she wouldnt leave me
Promised she wouldn't hurt me
I wasnt the only one with a lieing problem
You see we where both unstable
Dragging eachother down
So niether of us are alone
Dieing together was better than living apart
Until are decided she wanted better
Like she was drowing and i was an anchor tied to her
She cut me lose
So she could get to the surface
And i sank lower than ever before
Her exact words where i just can't bring myself to care anymore
The worst part is
I thought it was my fault
That i did something to make everyone hate me
That i was a problem in this world
And I just had to realize it
All she said was lies she recanted once she found out who i really was
She hurt me
Than called me the liar
So this is where i am now
Sinking
Trying to teach myself how to swim
Alone
I can't lie my way through this one
And ana cant give me oxygen
Im trying to get over it
But im lost in this blizzard
And i can't find my way home

I learned that men can't heal my wounds
That no matter how many pictures i send
I can't believe im actually a ten
No matter how many guys to get to like me
I can't like myself
The last one i talked to was 21
Younger than the others
But still couldn't unage me
Couldn't make me forget the things they did to me
Im sorry i can never fully be yours
I gave my heart to every soul that has a photo of me
Now im left with nothing
This is torture
But you see i learned
U can't find happiness in lovers
And love can't be found
Till you love yourself