How long does this pain last
As long as I carry it I suppose
If I keep trudging through my past
That I keep locked up so no one knows -
That I feel like a burden
with nothing much to offer
A broken heart and mind
With empty coffers

My children are why I live
their absence is why I am lonely
They are my reason to forgive
They are my reason only

What brought me my joy
Now brings me so much pain
the absence of their laughter
Drowns me in silent rain

I lock it all away
so that no one can see
But my eyes always betray
The fact that I can't be happy

This desire
For someone to love us
To care about us
And for us to take care of them,
If I have someone I can talk to,
And when they ask me questions,
The same topics and interests
Is there anything more fulfilling than that?
Could that be the point of life?
Could that be the purpose of living?
Or the bane of our existence?

I wish I could be more of the woman you and I both want me to be
Selfless, confident, and self-assured
But weak, I am-
Woman.
Plush and fertile,
Tender with tears
Trying to be strong
To give you more
Of the woman you and I both want me to be.

But I am not her,
I am me.

Strong in my weakness,
Sincere in my ways.

Humbly, I am
The woman I am.

They said,
"The most beautiful art is
looking into someone's eyes
when they talk about the
things they love."
And I said,
"Or looking at someone you love.
Or maybe, just maybe,
by looking at the mirror
is the most beautiful art
anyone should appreciate."

Today I shed my last tear for you...
Maybe my eyes are dry...
After all that I cried for you...
Maybe I just realized it is not worth it...
Whatever the reason...
Today is the day...
Where I finally closed the chapter on you...
Life is a book with many chapters...
And the chapter about you is closed...
And it will never reopen...
Today I start a new chapter in my life...
A life where all memories of you are gone...
For good...

We don’t see the carrots to be cut,
We see the sharp knife that could cut us.

We don’t see the bridge,
We see the other side of the railings.

We don’t see painkillers,
We see medication we could drown ourselves in.

We don’t see the train,
We see the tracks we could lay on.

We don’t see the nice view,
We see the cliff's edge we could jump off.

the night my life changed
i was wearing
a white dress
with blue and red
flowers

and you were wearing
well, actually
it doesn't
matter

the night my life changed
it was dark
and you were drunk
and somehow
it was my fault

When I look at you,
I don’t see darkness
I don’t see rain
I don’t see pain

When I speak to you,
I don’t feel sadness
I don’t feel neglect
You always show respect

When I think of you,
It gives me strength
Because you’re so bright
My brightest light

When I dream of you,
I find myself in your arms
Right where I belong
Right where I feel strong

When I fell in love with you,
I knew it was true
Because you drowned my sorrows
And now I can see tomorrow