I went walking
On a soft, September afternoon
The air was gentle, with new life ahead

And deep within the blue autumn breeze
Children ran down city streets
And life moved quickly
While the soft September air
Gracefully slipped between
Busy bodies, honking horns

And all of life went on,
Pressing forward
Melting into one thing

Soft and glowing
Beating, proceeding

Perfect, purposeless
–Life
Living itself
Under soft September skies

As I walked, I could see

Lines across faces
Toothless grins
Children running
Birds overhead
The empty allies
The green of the trees
Trails of consumption

All of what was, and is
And is yet to come…

On soft, September city streets
Beyond the reach of summer heat…

Raw, one and serene
Beating with a near-winter glow.

When you were gone
I saw myself

–Alone, weak and fragile
–That, I did not like.

And I longed for your return
So I could be strong.

But I failed to see
God by my side.

Who was there all along.

I wish I could be more of the woman you and I both want me to be
Selfless, confident, and self-assured
But weak, I am-
Woman.
Plush and fertile,
Tender with tears
Trying to be strong
To give you more
Of the woman you and I both want me to be.

But I am not her,
I am me.

Strong in my weakness,
Sincere in my ways.

Humbly, I am
The woman I am.

“What if?” shouts fear, loud and shrilling.
“I’ll still be here” God whispers, softly.

My thoughts
Lead me down
An enticing path
Into darkness

Where I dwell,
For just a moment

Until I turn around
And take myself
Up and back
Into the light.

You said to your disciples–
“You of little faith”
–And you loved them,
Nonetheless.

And I, of little faith
Follow you,
Seeking more.

Before You,
I never knew,
How much love,
I was capable of.