There's something wrong
It hasn't rung
That very tune I love to hear
Love...
What's the point anymore
Just heartache and disappointment
Like an empty voicemail
Thinking maybe I missed it
Fell asleep in the middle of the day
Forgot to charge it
A relationship is all about communication
Yet there's none
You want me to tell you all my feelings
But maybe its pointless
Telling you I feel like a third wheel
Always being on the back burner
It feels as if you're toying with me
Like maybe there isn't one man here
But why wouldn't there be
We aren't together
Maybe that's where I keep fooling myself
My emotions blind me further
I've never felt this way
All this love and cheesy lines
Trying to get you to smile
I should just give up
Just stop
Like the ringtone that never rang

Growing up you want to be
Sleeping Beauty's knight
Snow Whites true loves kiss
Cinderella's prince charming
You want to be the reason
She has a happily ever after
Its all ******* fantasies
They never had a lick of truth behind them
False hopes for the young minds
Leading them to believe
Everything goes your way eventually
My happy ever after
Is everybody else's
Happily never ever
I find my solitude in the drugs
**** it all
The real me gets to run free
Carefree, **** it all
All those promises of me quitting
My happiness is in the alcohol
The whiskey of a dragons fire
Soaring down my throat
I want to get so ****** up
I have to look down to find heaven
So this prince of stupidity
Lived happily never ever
Drowning in a pool of his *****
Choking himself in mountains of anger
Always feeling like the last thing
On everyone's mind
Just a nuisance
Saying he loves her
Saying hello to him
It was all pointless to begin
So they lived happily ever after
When he finally shot himself.

I dreamt of you last night
Standing before me
Eyes teary and ageless
Perfect cemetery for my heart
When I look at you
I die inside
Because its only just a dream
I can't wake to your face
Smiling like we just went on an adventure
Came back from a peaceful paradise
Found each other in hopeless times
I no longer can have a picture of you
Set as my lock screen
Without wanting to fall to pieces
I can't have you with me
No matter how hard I try
These feelings rattle
From questions to fears
I'm to scared to ask
My notes in my phone
Hold every secret I can mumble
But us, a me and you, its only a dream
Even though dreams come true sometimes
I still have to wonder
Is this dream destined for reality
When I dont even know
What it is I'm waiting for
It feels as if something is missing
A que wasn't made
Or perhaps I'm a lunatic after all
And my dreams seem to bury me
In every possible way conjured up

Which would be easier
Less noise
Which would be swifter
I'm in a killing mood
This man staring back at me
Seems to only taunt ne
We're both ready for a fight
But can't seem to choose
Our weapon of choice
9mm or a 12 gauge
Maybe I'll blow a hole in his chest
But I just want to erase that smirk
That evil vile smirk
Smeared on his face
Paint to a childs drawing
**** it
12 gauge it is
Looks like he decided too
Same weapons
Guess we both die
But there will only be a call
For one body bag

I can hear them in the distance
Sounds of their engines roaring
The hounds are on me
Flashlights and pistols aimed at me
Its just moments away
No point in running
Its all over
My life
My future
All those memories I promised her
Fading away
The closer they get
I can see them
Blue lights flashing
They wanted me
I'll sit on this cold asphalt
Waiting for those steel bracelets
To cup my wrist with anger
Its all over
Tin gods with badges and a gun
Surround me
Birds of supposed justice
Feed on my carcass
Draining the remaining hope I had
Of finally make something of myself
I'll be another soul
Cast out of society
Ex convict with nothing to show
Just tattoos and stories from jail

Whispers on moonlight kisses
Shadows crossing bridges
Silhouettes of this life
Forgetting I'm existing

I guess instead of writing poems
I'll tell you the story
Behind the name my mother gave me
I'm Tommy
Father in jail for ******
Mother single and struggling
3 eviction notices in past 8 months
How does one survive turmoil
With a world so violent
16 years I've watched my mother deteriorate
Lost 9 when she drove down the road
Filled with needles and spoons burning
Candlelight now scares me
One bedroom apartment
Sleeping with your mom
You realize her fears follow her into her dreams
I can't protect her
I can't do anything for her
I'm a useless nuisance
Only bleeding her pockets drier
But I'll write till I'm famous
Write till she sees I know her pain
I can't tell you I'll be any good
I'll only try to give her the life she deserves

Look at your phone
Three to four times
Hoping for a text
A single call
Perhaps a notification
People you love or know
Forgetting you exist
Emotions of paper
Just the same old *******
You felt two days ago
Its all repetitive
Everything I know
Its deja vu
I wrote poems
To forget myself
So the world would remember
Who I was
But the world changes
I'm a lonely record
Broken, stuck on repeat
My life seems to be the captured image
Of broken glass
There is no fixing
Maybe I really am
Just losing who I am
When words fail
To escape me
And I can no longer
Explain how I feel
I'm truly lost
Because its all so repetitive

Another sip
Another ****
Fading into the haze
Of my own self destruction
You act as if I'm human
That I can be hurt
That I'm not willing to suffer
Just for your own entertainment
I'll pave my own path to my early demise
Dont think you can help
I'm miles ahead of you
You're only just beginning
Polishing the fingernails of deaths hand
I've felt them
While I fade into my eternal oblivion
Another bottle down
Another cigarette smoked
Maybe I'll continue
Driving this dead end road
At 90 miles per hour
Fading once again
Back into the man I used to be
The man I'm always meant to be
Now I'm wondering
Was the psychic right
Will I ever see my 31st birthday

I've poured my heart and soul
Into puddles before your feet
Told you in secrecy I loved you
Like a villain I roam these streets
Foraging for an existence
I can call my own
Yet all I've ever found was heartache
And even more broken glass
To fill the lost fragments of my chest
I just want to be acknowledged
Told I was loved
Even if you didn't
I told you countless times
I would always be there
Yet you vanished from my arms
Like smoke to lungs
I hope your happy now
Deep in the arms of a man
Who only loves what lays between your thighs
I maybe mad
But never once was I stupid
I know the look in a desperate mans eyes
When ***** doesn't come cheap
And your so willing
To think he loves you the same

I walk by you on open paths
Drive by and see you smiling
It brings back the times we had
But its foggy
Only a deja vu moment
We never held hands
Never kissed
Never loved each other
The way we thought we did
Its all so confusing
I dont know whether to be happy or sad
Knowing your happy finally
In his arms
Or sad because we could never be
It all feels so real
The pain in my chest
The haze in my mind
I'm fully convinced
We were something
Only in the stories somebody else wrote

19 years old
4 car wrecks
All I should have died
People say it was gods will
I don't care what it was
I should have died
I wanted to die
My life a shambled mess
Of questions and fears
Will I succeed
Who will give me a chance
Do I get opportunities
Or am I stereotyped into immaturity
I've whispered only truths
Screamed nothing but respect
Played ***** to the man
*** bent towards the sky
Solicited my dignity
Abandoned my pride
Murdered my ego
Just to ask for a job
But still got rejected
This life isn't mine for long
I can feel it slipping away
Death whispers on the wind
It's scent calling on the waves
In this world I'm only another victim
Another corpse to be lain to rest
A weakling that couldn't survive
Another fool buried beside them all
A soldier trying to protect his own
A stereotyped scraggly pothead ***
Based only on my looks
I wear plaid jackets and beanies
Boots with a mustache and beard
I ask for shelter
Leave before the night is over
Im a worthless ******* in the homes
Of strangers unknowing what I go through
Life was perfect in the beginning
With family to love you
Give you reasons to smile
Give you the comfort
Knowing you were safe by their side
But in a world hungry
For souls of the innocent
Thirsty for the hearts of the hopeful
We find only death our true friend
The only truth to this life
You'll say I'm only complaining
But look around
Tell me what part isn't true
These are the rantings
This 19 year old scraggly pothead
*** in your eyes has left
A last resort
To save himself and the world
He grew up in
Watching it devour itself
With us as collateral damage
Us the reason we forced its hands
Savages wanting death
Tormenting till its suicide
A quicker answer than saying
There truly is hope
But I'm a blinded kid
Staring at the hallucinations
Of a light at the end of a tunnel
That never existed to begin with
This is just the darkness
We all contributed to create
Too scared to face music we wrote

**** digging deeper
Maybe she can take it
Hope this rubber don't break
I don't feel like being a daddy today
But ****** she'll call me daddy
As we're ******* tonight
Leave a path of clothes
A trail of breadcrumbs
From door to bedroom
Rose pedals tracing out our hearts
As her moans stain the sheets
She'll call me daddy tonight
Even after all the hell I put her through

I know every time you look at me
You see a little of yourself
You see the strength in these eyes
The horrors I was born ready for
I'm only this strong because of you
You raised me to be tough
To never underestimate my own capability
You see the sands of time
Age me into a better version of you
As you grow older
You grow prouder
Knowing your youngest is doing great
Even though I'm struggling
I don't let it stop me
You keep your hands folded
Never offering a hand
Always teaching me life is a lesson
I love you Pops
Even when we're too much alike
And our anger gets in the way of it all

The sound of gunshots
A silent crowd
Terror filled in a moment
Bodies scattered
Is this the world we came to create
Violence and death
A endless stream of blood
Just to get a message across
Too many lives wasted
As tears fall
Whats the point of living anymore
When death lurks around every corner
Hunting down innocence
With the barrels of evil intents
One prayer for Paris
Ten million for the lives of those taken

Every star a number
Every cliche a vow
Seems I lost count
Of every word I ever said to you
Only three seem to matter to me
Yet my lips hide them from you
As my teeth want to embed them
Into your neck as if to say hi
It all resembles the countless days
I spent loving you
Without realizing I was wishing
On every shooting star
Just to hear you say it once

You didn't have time to react
Nuclear reactors melting
Why couldn't I have given you a signal
Allowed you to evacuate the valley
I just wanted death and chaos
I never wanted your heart to be inhabitable
I wanted it all to myself
Yet left myself in ruin
Alone in the dark
With only ghostly dolls to play with
I was another Chernobyl
Another disaster in the plains of your heart
Another tragedy soon to be forgotten

Just get it over
Be one of many people
Surrender to the simple truth
You ******* hate me
I'll leave you alone
Let you read my ******* work
It isn't any good anyways
I'm a has been
A wanna be
So get it over and ******* hate me

I'll find the courage to do it
Stop being a ***** and finally do it
Quit ******* about my ****** life
Hiding when things get rough
Just get ****** and throw a temper tantrum
Just this once
I'd like to find it in me
To say **** it and die
**** myself and just let it end
I constantly torment myself
With thoughts of you and hopes
That maybe it could work out
But what the **** am I thinking
It would all just be easier
If I was a ******* man about it
Poured me one last shot of jack
And chased this last I LOVE YOU
Out with a 12 gauge
Maybe then you'll understand
I ******* meant it when I said it

A sweet lullaby of what could happen
A night filled with pleasure
Ecstasy with shots of pain
Bedsheets freshly placed
They needed memories
She whispered...
I love you
But I never heard
Too busy drowning on my own problems
All I heard was tear drops
And my own footsteps
Captain ******* of the varsity ******* club
Too afraid to stop and realize
She was everthing I ever needed
She whispered...

I'm just sitting in the dark
A blank stare on my face
Listening to the rain pelt my roof
I'm lonely tonight
Only thing to ease my troubles
Is the sweet thought of you
Typical cliche but baby
Sad to say it's true
I could ******* to online ****
I could watch anime on my tv
I could drink till I pass out
But I'd rather think of you
Think of your voice
An old jukebox in my head
With you on repeat
I'll whisper to my hands
The feeling of your waist underneath them
I'll scream at my arms
Hurry up and hold you
I'll signal my fingers
Push your hair away from your neck
Rest my head on your shoulder
As I fight to keep my lips
From ravaging your desires
Maybe one kiss
Gentle and smooth
Sweet addictions arise
I can't seem to stop
A gentle push from you
I'll quit
I know it's your lips that want it
That arousal
That sweet fix only I can give you
I'm no drug but I know me and you
We might just sail away on this kite
Internal ecstasy gave us
I'll open my eyes and witness my own hell
You're a hundred miles away
But only an inch under my forehead
With an image of you smiling
And I'm alone again
Wondering why the hell
Am I not heading your way

I watched as roads slick
With the tears of angels
Catch fire to loved ones
Twisted metal and hollow eyes
Screams of drunken lips
Helpless to the chaos before them
I'll sip on my coke
My monster energy
Watch you all laugh and play
Drink to your hearts content
Shout with tears of the troubles you seen
Then stutter I love you's and I'm sorry's
Wasted before me
A helpless child caught in a torrent
Beer in each hand
Alcohol brewing in your torso
I'm that guy in the back
Hitting on all theses drunkards wives
Even the single ladies I find attractive
Only teasing to keep myself occupied
Afraid of what horrors may come
Driving off into the rain
A shadow looms
Your fate a sealed envelope
A written book before its published
A prelude to another tragedy
My friend I'm the designated driver
Come sit in my '91 Chevy S10
Leave your keys behind the counter
I'll take you where you need to go
If you prefer I'll drive your vehicle
Give me a ride back in the morning
I'll stay the night if I have to
Let me take you in my arms
Shake your hand and tell you your safe
I never again want to see the bodies
Holding tightly to a bumper
Wrapped around light poles
Strippers for deaths entertainment
Scattered remnants on a three year old child
I'll fight the temptation
Free beers and all the shots I can have
Just to see a stranger safe at home

Kissing you for the first time
Holding your hand
Walking down the road
Or driving to your favorite restraunt
I wish I had those memories
Where there's an us
I wish there was a memory of love
Romance woven, our fingers intertwined
I wish I had those memories
But they'll never happen
I live too far
Your heart a barracade
A mountain fortress
Maybe one day the treasure
Residing within with no longer be held prisoner
Considered cursed
Corrupting all who seek to possess it
I wish I had those memories
Taking journeys creating adventures
Just me and you like it always should have been

Lifeless
Emotional
Nothing seems real
Artificial
Every word forced into existence
This dictionary holds open
Written in invisible ink
Maybe I am the worst
A worthless writer
A has-been
Perhaps I'm no longer real
No longer really alive
Just suffering the loss of my mind
Trapped in rewind
Watching my life happen all over again
I'm a *******
Thinking my life had a purpose
Maybe my purpose was only to fail
Be a laughing stock
A joke for this world

An awkward silence between friends
A blush a glance away
Somethings sparks
Maybe there is more
Your sweet voice in my head
Calling me to lean forward
My hands pulling you closer
Should I risk this friendship
For a chance at something that might not happen
A road trip to see you
A smile from your lips
Maybe I am a stoner
Maybe I am an alcoholic
A party-goer try not to be sober
So I can deny myself these feelings
Hide the pain, the anger, the sorrow
I should have paused the beers
The blunts, joints, and bongs
To talk to you
Show the level of guilt I feel
But like a dog with it's tail tucked
I hid, ran from sight
I can't say it anymore
The real way I feel
Words escape me
Everything feels so forced
Nothing flows
Im a puddle without a current
Stagnant and lifeless

You'll never see me write this much
It's all you
Probably the only time
I'll ever write
Is when your on my mind
And I'm not fighting the guilt
Fighting the realization
I truly lost you
To the darkness within
I wont say it
I'll never say those words till you ask me to
I know you never will
But those three words are just for you
Any woman that wants my heart
Has to go through you

Should have died
Never will believe in god
**** society
Emotions truly make you weak
Should have died
I'm pathetic
What the **** is there for me
A world with me in its crosshairs
Should have died
19 years held onto my self loathing
I'm holding too many secrets
Should have died
Wish I would have
Why do they torment me
Should have died
Listening to these voices
I'm fighting a losing battle
Should have died
**** it
I'll do it
I'll leave this world
With out a tear
Without a single thought
I'm as useless as thirty year old milk

I can tell I'm not getting anywhere
I know I don't know how you feel
I just hope you remember that poem
That one that was only for your eyes
That only you and me ever knew about
I meant every word
Surely you forgot
I'm only ******* you off
Sometimes you have to know when to bail
I'm ejecting
Aborting this mission
But ill never stop feeling this way
I know how I feel is true
I wish I knew what to do
Knew where to go from here
Because its easy to see
You want nothing to do with me anymore
Maybe all the idea of an us was
Was a hallucination
Compiled by the frailty of my eager heart
To find someone that didn't fall for me
But simply just liked me for who and what
I was already
Nothing

I knew I ****** up
I tried to make things better
I drew us a picture
Wanted to send it to you
I had a drink to celebrate
Celebrate another lonely valentine
Fell asleep
And you called
I miss our 2 hour conversations
Just rambling about nothing
Where every now and then I got the chance to say
I love you
I know it seems like nothing now
But if we still didn't have feelings for each other
We wouldn't be writing to each other
With an entire world watching
I'll never stop proclaiming I love you
No matter how many times you say it doesn't matter
Or that I'm lying
I'll never cease fire my emotions for you
I'll never let them dwindle
I'll only take a step back
Evaluate my own imperfections
Because I dont want to be another ****** bag
You fell in love with
I wanted to be a man you could have pride in loving
A man that could take care of you
Even when you don't want me to
I know your bull headed and stubborn
I know you love your independence
Yet I know you found comfort
When I said I love you

You act as if I meant to do it
I remember when you called
I just had a beer
Fell asleep in the recliner
Couldn't hear who it was and hung up
You called back
******* me out for 5 seconds
But quickly turned to joy
I knew you were great
I never lied
I do love you
Why do you think I wrote a farewell letter
I wasn't good enough for you and never will be
I'm the **** of the earth
A heathen picking up crumbs
I remember that call
I remember I sat on the hood of my truck
Asked you to be my valentines
Because we both didn't have one
I wrote you a poem even though it wasn't my best
I tried to convince myself
The greatest lie I ever told myself
Was that maybe we could work
Maybe I did find that special someone
That missing puzzle piece
To this jumbled up brain
I'll say it over and over
Even when you refuse to listen
Hey, I really do miss you
I'll always love you
No matter how many times you say I'm lying

It's been awhile
I probably shouldn't say this
But hey
I know I wasn't much of a person
That could really be trusted and I'm sorry
I know apologies are too late
And all those poem I wrote to you
I still mean them
You were and still am on my mind
You know I have many talents
Writing and drawing
Remember that drawing I drew for us
I still have it
Still cherish it with infinite lust
To hear your voice again
To hear you say I'm lying when i said
I love you
I know I'm still a nobody
Life seems lost
And I dont want a sympathy party thrown
Or you thinking I'm trying to find myself
My torch went out went I let you go
When I failed to realize the greatest thing
In my life in my world
Was always on the other side of my phone
I wish I could make it all better
I wish sorry had value
I wish I never introduced myself
And brought my own chaos
Stampede through your chest
I'm a ****** person
I deserve to live with this guilt
With this pain
But I know eventually you'll forget
Who I was in your life
I'll become some guy you talked to
Some guy who said he loves you
Still knows your true identity
And will never forget
How I destroyed something perfect
I know you still resent me
Still have those built up homicide thoughts
Wanting to rip my chest open
Feed me my own intestines
I'm probably off base but it doesn't matter
I wish I had the proper words to say
But all I can say is...
Hey. I miss you.

Searched high and low
No footsteps or trace of her
She ventured of into the unknown
I lost her without realizing
She let go
My hand so far outstretched
I blindly grabbed into the crowds
Caught only dust
And the scent of her perfume
A lovely goodbye
I dreaded for so long
I held her from birth
In my very own infant hands
Watched her grow
Ran around the yard so many times
We left a pathway so pops didnt have to mow
Swimming together at Papa's
Too many memories
And I'll curse the heavens of every religion
For taking her away
For not letting me be strong enough for her
Why did she leave
Why did she let go
What purpose do I have without her
I should have been the one to go
I have nothing
I'll always be this broken man
Longing for another chance
To fight a war I'll never win
But if it means saving her this time
I'll wage war with titans and gods alike
I lost her
Never found myself
I know oneday I'll find her
In that old sandbox we played together in
Or swinging on that old swing set
We had our first kiss on
I know she's waiting
So maybe I should let go
Fall into her arms
Let her hold me like she lost me
While I love her
Till she finds me in the darkness
I created when she left

I'll have respect for myself
A life I can call worthy
A house with a basement
A truck ill have no worries with
One day
Everything will be ok
I'll look back and say I'm glad I survived
I'll thank everyone I met
Remember those who passed
Smoke a bowl and drink a beer
In their honor
I'll look in the mirror
Remember the voices that chanted death
I'll laugh at all the scars
Thinking about the reasons I came out alive
I'll be that guy one day
To have it all
And watch it fade away
Because I woke up

Through countless years
Almost endless days
Thoughts of suicide
Played banjo with my emotions
And here I am at a funeral
Watching people cry and wither
Wilting in their realization
Their beloved is gone
Sad to say
There's no silence in suicide
They'll moarn till they die
Think of ways to off themselves
Gun shots echo
Sounds of nooses tightening
Pill bottles emptying
Bodies dropping
There's no silence in suicide
Death just echoes

I'll be then thousand miles away
Drowning at the bottom of of the sea
The very one you hate me to dive into
Leaving bottles on the shorelines
Of your driveway
When you remember me
I'll just be a face without a name
A man once crawling into bed with you
Calling your name sweeter
With every breath you stole from me
By the time you remember me
I'll be so lost in my own life
I'll have forgotten
How gorgeous your body was
How every day was my birthday
When you said goodmorning
How christmas was every time I called
I sounded like a kid begging to tear open
The first present he saw
It was always you
When you remember me
Youll see that we were meant to be
That forever was worth living
While in each others arms
But you left me to run off with him
And I just heard
He cheated on you with his own step Mother

I've tried a million times
Then tried again
Just to find enough hatred toward you
To find a way to force a goodbye
Yet these emotions
Are nothinng but ghost
Nailed to my mistakes
And I wish sorry fixed it
But even tears I force
Can't spell help me say goodbye
I've tried running
I've ran till my feet bled
Danced in tequila
Paraded through clouds of smoke
Hoping somewhere I'll forget you
I've only managed to forget myself
And the reason why I started trying
Trying to give up on you
It wasn't fear
It wasn't stupidity
I just knew I wasn't good enough
I wrote to you a million times
Never pressed send
Just exited out and locked the screen
I wish I could say goodbye
The way you said it to me
A merry *******
And a happy Go **** Yourself
But I deserved it
I gave up when you started to give in
We met at a crossroad at different times
I still love you
While I know you'll hate me
This is a farewell letter to you
You'll know its you when you read it
I made it clear enough
Seems you were too much of a mystery

Its only 2:05 am
And I havent slept a second
Since 9:00 yesterday morning
The only thing on my mind
Is what to say to you
What more is there to me
I really want you to know
I've told you of the dangerous side of me
I've told you the emotional side
You've seen my complexion
All my faults are truly evident
I've never been more scared
To open my mouth and say hello
Without worrying I'll tell you who I am
I'm a spy
I'm an undercover cop
I'm the prince of some unknown island
I'm Bob Marley's best friend
I'm a zombie
Yeah that works
I'm a zombie not looking for brains
But for the heart beating in your delicate chest
All I want to do is hear it race after ***
And listen to it calm when I tell you all my secrets
As I hold you closer than before I came
Im a heart warming zombie
Only out to infect love in your smile
Happiness in your laugh
And joy in your cheeks
I could tell you how I would do that
But where would the adventure be
When all my secrets of getting you to see
Just how much I care for you
Are spilled marbles on the floor
I'll be your goofball zombie
Walking like the dead into silent screams
Where you'll just be too nervous
To walk out the door
I'll have an audience in my unsuspecting neighbors
They'll know how deep my exploration
Of your fragile frame went
How much gold and diamonds I dug up
When they see you waddling to my truck
Let me stop insinuating I'm good at ***
When I havent ****** in over two months
My zombie ***** are about to fall off
My **** just remains hard when I'm texting you
It seems you've caught the attention
Of everything with a mind in my body
All my senses crave you
I yearn to taste your bubble gum lips
Smell the decadent aroma of lust and perfume
Dancing in harmony on your silken skin
Watch your body unfold
As your clothing collects on the floor
Feel the warmth of your thighs
Gripping tighter to my waist
And even tighter around my shoulders
Hear you melting away in my touch
As each hand reaches further
Rubbing thigh to waist
Waist to shoulders
Shoulders to hair
As fingers intertwine with your curls
Pulling them back exposing pulsating veins
Deep within your neck
Where I'll gently place my lips
And guide them ever so softly
So I won't leave a trace
I'll bite even softer
Just hard enough to make the sensation
Rattle your hips
I'm a heart warming zombie
Only out for you
The last living piece of perfection
Just begging to be explored
By somebody with a Ph.D
In how to drive your body completely insane
Before it even effects your mind
I'm sorry if it seems criminal
But I'm only out for your heart
Bc you managed to leave with mine
I could tell you all my secrets
Yet its so much more fun
When you learn them along the way
I'll never know everything about you
I'll try to make sure you know
Every last thing about me
Just so you know if I'm the man for you
I'm not asking to be your lover
I'm not asking to be your friend
I'm asking only if you'll give me a chance
Show you my hand
Before I even play them
I'm not asking for epic sessions
Of the most intense ***
On nights when we get bored
I'm wanting to know
If this heart warming zombie
I see every morning in the mirror
Can be more than someone you talk to
When everything else loses all interest
I'll take the risk
In destroying walls
Built so many millenniums ago
Thick with brick and steel
Riddled with rust and cracks
I'll bleed as much as I need to
When opening myself to you
Creates thicker scars
Then when I'm just offering dust
To women I'll never see again
Its time this heart warming zombie
Laid down with someone's raw heart
And watched it beat on the walls of your cavity
Tasted all its faults
Listened to its demands
While becoming what it truly desires
I know I'm old and senile at 19
Trying to find the perfect ending to this
Really ****** poem
Jumping all around emotions
I'm just trying to figure out
What to say to you
When all I have left to say
Is a question followed by a statement
I know too **** well
Neither one of is ready to say or hear
I guess I'll end this with an emoji
A simple :* from a zombie
Looking for his princess to be

From lips to neck
Neck to shoulders
Your body my lips caress
Nails dug into my back
Trying to bring me closer
Legs bare and running
Up down wrapped around me
My hands only managing to tame them
Your sighs of yearning
Growing louder
With every motion my body makes
Every notion of *** in the air
But here we are still dressed
We're only teasing
Slip of tongue
Pants are gone
******* soon following
My shirt torn
Fighting cloth only making our desires
So much more real
Cradle my kisses
Theyll be the reason your back arches
The reason you lay half naked
Begging for my **** to stop licking your ****
And penetrate you with full intent
Of making you moan
You know the deeper I go
The more times over you lose your virginity
Faster I go the more you tear
This is love making at its finest
Are you sure
You really want to cradle these kisses
Bc they be the reason we never leave this bed

It must seem startling
Almost petrifying
Knowing the one man
Willing to sacrifice it all for you
Is two inches of his **** deep
In some pretty little town *****
Mocking the vows he made you
As he wears his sins
Like a badge of honor
****** sashes
Instagram post of them all
Blocking you from facebook
Changing passwords and hiding behind closed doors
Running from himself
More than shying away from you
Disgracing you with all 26 women
And you know them by name
Their your best friends
Colleagues and co-workers
Your 27 and still only one question lingers
For all the times he ****** you
He made love to another woman too
So how much does he love you
When I bleed when you can't cry?

225 719 9187
Call today and save my soul
No money neccesary
Just a ******* and have a blessed day
Preach to me the teachings of god
Tell me how I'll go to hell for my sins
Where loving once pays in dying twice
Enlighten me on what I did so wrong
Curse my name
Spit in the ground I walk
Bury me under my own misery
What else can I say
We all knew I was a **** up
Sanity not a birthright
Hell if you wanted perfect you should have never came to me
I've slept with more women than I could count
Chased emotions away with broomsticks
But like any rabid beast
Give it attention
It knows where home could be
So call today and maybe your words
Could take this lonely soul
And free it into the place it was meant to be born into
But you wont do it
You're scared
You fear me
Not knowing what kind of man I am
Second guessing the reason you chose
To dial my number in the first place
Maybe you should forget it
I'm sure I'll find my own will
To do the devils work for him
He's not to blame
God should be ashamed
I am he
He is you
You are me
Me is dead
So I guess we all are
When we were born in his image
I'm done talking I'm taking action
Feel free to cleanse your own soul
By trying to cleanse mine
PLEASE SIR
PLEASE MA'AM
TELL ME HOW YOUR GOD CAN SAVE ME NOW
WHEN THE ONLY THINGS THAT NEED TO BE SAVED
IS THE THINGS I'LL ABUSE TO DESTROY MYSELF

I loved once
It's easy to say where it went from there
When all anything seems to do is fail

The endless sky seems so dead
A fortress abandoned by wondering eyes
Haunted by the cataclysmic fears
Of asteroids and meteors
Supernovas too close to home
Black holes slowly eating away at the heavens
It all seems so endless
The possibilities of reaching extraterrestrials
Learning what the face of neptune really looks like
Even something so endless doesn't have many secrets
The sky is the sky
The stars are stars
The moon and sun dance together in eternal rotation
Maybe one day I'll get to see
Just what it is out there for me
Why I'm able to survive an endless life of despair
When all it would have taken
Was the 3.2 seconds it took to destroy a car

I can't be that drunk
I'm walking in circles
Chasing shadows in the fog
Cold asphalt nipping at numb toes
Where are you!?
**** it answer me
But who's to answer
When it's nobody I'm looking for
She's gone and so are you
Just shadows in the fog of my abyssal heart
Numbness spreading like a virus
From toes to mouth
No longer able to walk
Just mumbling mumbo jumbo
What the **** happened to me
I used to be a human
Capable of writing every emotion I felt
Acknowledged those of others
Now I'm getting drunk
Playing hide and go seek with imaginary shadows in the fog
This isnt me
This isn't you
It's like an echo
I no longer know if its mocking me
Or just agreeing with it
One step closer
Maybe I'll find a face I recognize here
Sirens blare
Noise complaint
I'm resisting arrest
Screaming you have to find it
Puzzled faces plastered on the officers
Flashlights and barks
They think I'm talking about you
They think you're still alive
We both know where you are
I'm just too drunk to recall
If I was the murderer or the victim
Did I sacrifice you to be a god
Was it me I fed to those heathens
Where are you!?
When I need you most
When you're all that I want
When everything is falling apart
You could help me hold up a dam
I don't need to be flooded by these emotions
I'm scared I'll never wake
Just lost to the endlessness of it all
It's too much for me to take it
Where are you!?
It's getting dark
Please hurry
This fog is too thick
I'm sorry
I failed you
As the cops haul me away
I know I'll never find you
I'll never know where you went
But at least I got to see the outline of what you used to be

Lonely nights and empty chest
This Valentines day is just like another day
Valentine less since 2009
Each chocolate whispering I love you I love you not
Every rose pedal wilting
I know I dont want temporary
I want something meaningful and almost permanent
Never know he might die before me or me before him
Oh I forgot to introduce myself
I'm Tabitha, I'm 18, 19 eventually
I have a cute little white girl *****
***** just big enough for me
I'm a simple poet
Look at me being creepy
Trying to sell myself to somebody
I think this chocolate was laced
I'm rambling
God why does love always get confusing
I like guys too far away
Or people eventually leaving behind closed doors
Maybe I'm destined to be some old cat lady person
Anyways I'm going back to work
Maybe I'll get a valentine tonight
Even though he's cute and a poet too
He's so weird but that perfect weird
But again he's too far away
At least I get to hear his voice
When I get off work
I guess we can call it a date

Bouquet of roses
Box of chocolates
Teddy bear stuffed with the finest cotton
Yeah baby I went all out for you
But where are you
Walked away the day after my birthday
4 days and you only have your silence to keep
Guess I was wrong to say I love you
Guess it was my fault for being so stupid
Happy Valentine's Day anyways
Guess you deserve that at least
Oh and thanks for ******* me over
Nice to know you cared oh so much about me

I couldnt say I believe in you
I couldnt say i walk in your name
But every breath I seem to take
Your the one thing getting shoved
Down my trachea
Biting down on silver bullets
Watching your disciples crucify me
Torturing me with senseless mumbo jumbo
About how Im going to hell when I die
Yet they cant see in it my eyes
They're too blinded by hopes of eternal life
Walking down the golden streets of heaven
If angels and demons existed
What the **** would it make me
Im inhuman compared to these vile creatures
If you made them in the image of you
Then now I see the real devil
Your name itself holds no value
At least the devil has a face to the name
You, just your son
You sentenced to die
You did nothing
Let it all happen
Youre the ruthless aggression
All cower before
I'm just the guy waiting to die
I dont care what awaits me
I just wish you knew
I dont give a **** about religions
I'm a mortal god
Judger of my own sins
Crimes I only commit against me
Sentencer to my own punishment
You let books and false prophets
Predict a future no one knows
Maybe we should all just die
Tell me if you find heaven or hell then
But when you wake up and see me over you
Laughing at how irrelevant your beliefs
Have come to be
Dont say a word
I want to watch as you cry
Because I know the only thing waiting for me in death
Is a darkness death itself is afraid of

I'm a survivor of 3 car wrecks
I'm no god
I'm an athiest till day I see one
I'm in love with the idea of love
I'm no man
I'm the boy hiding under his blanket
To scared of the night
I'm an orphan to emotions
Yet I still feel
The jaded truth to me
I'm just a mask
I'm a name with no face
A body without a soul
A life no longer worth living
If you saw me
You'd only know I'm as dead as corpses
I'm the jester making everyone laugh
Hiding tears so the mascara doesnt run
I'll take a bow making sure
I keep my head down when I leave the stage
I'm shakespeares tragedy come to fruition
I'm the chalkline on pavement
The bodybag only filled with sorrow
I'll take this time to bid goodbye
Idk if I'll survive this car wreck
The collision of rusty twisted steel with flesh
I only know the intent of why I'm walking the gallows
I'm a ghost coming and going
So maybe its my que
To take my final absence

This ship setting sail
Destined to sink
A whole crew disappeared
No bodies found
Mayday!
Somebody come and save us
Mayday!!
Please I'm begging you
Is anybody out there?!
I'm drowning in the sorrow
The seemingly endless questions
I just need a savior
Not bleeding from a cross
I need a hand in the dark
A reason to pull myself out of this
I'll just keep falling back in
Slipping deeper and deeper every time
MAYDAY!
Can someone answer me
MAYDAY!!
Please I'm begging
IS ANYBODY OUT THERE?!
Guess I'm just another soul lost out at sea

No paragraph long enough
No book thick enough
No poem intense enough
No ink black enough
No blade sharp enough
To even begin to explain
The complexity of her soul
The depravity of love in her eyes
You can see the way she twist her hips
The way she bounces her chest
Just to be noticed
Even if it is by the schools janitor
She pounces around like she's bulletproof
But the glare of her peers
Disgusted turns of their lips
Faces turning upside down
Just to find the right glare of disapproval
Are .50 cal rounds at 10 yrds
They dont notice the scar under her mini skirt
The ones just peaking out from behind her bracelets
Or the one under her flesh
Buried deep within her chest
Where she carved in the initials
Of the one who ruined her
its hard to explain her
But she's too perfect to understand
To beautiful to notice
She's the one in front of you
Only making herself seen by you

3....2....1.....
Your dream forever seems to be fading
Sand slipping between fingers
Oxygen slipping through the cracks
You're suffocating on the fear
Realizing that in seconds
Your forever will no longer exist

There's no beauty in it
It's just a false emotion
Filled with pain, misery, and ugliness
Wrapped neatly in a bow
Just to fool you
It's the Christmas gift you prayed not to get
It's the dry *** turkey on thanksgiving
It's the fire blazing in your living room
From faulty fireworks on New Years
Love is a lie
Never was it as beautiful as death
Only as ugly as life