Before you let me down,
All I wanted was for you to be proud.
A boyhood desire is now gone because of your fire.
It burned everything.
Here I am not but a shell.
There you are, dead.
Though not in a literal sense.

Time heals wounds,
And your face from my mind.
A roar to a whisper your voice is muted.
It's one of a coward.

It seems strange that I once craved the regard
Of a depraved heart.  One who never gave.
Father is just a title.
You, the false idol.

At the conclusion of all things you
You just gave up
left me feeling bitter and disgusted.
The anger has long since faded
And all I know is how to feel nothing;
A recurring theme.
And that is what you taught me.
What remains of you?  A shadow
Of a jaded past.  It’s never been easy
But now I see with such clarity.

My eyes are like the desert
No tears to fill the mind’s sky.
The one thing I learned is
That I am strong.
I’m not broken. Not lost.

We were reckless;
Young and on fire.
I’ll always remember the tenderness.
With bated breath we watched each other grow
From Crestview to Spruce Street
Our lives changed forever when
You said
“Should we try that again?”
Now you’re gone
And you took all I had to give.
All I’m left with are dusty photo albums
Filled with the people we used to be.

False glimmering smiles are always eager to
Make you believe
They are on your side.
Swift.
Eager.
Dying for
You to bend for them to feed.
You took my heart and set it on a dusty shelf
Next to our childhood.
I wanted to believe in you.
There’s always a fight and when you know
Nothing comes freely, you’re deluded when you think
That acceptance comes easy.
So when the day came that you thought it was your place
To tell me who I am because
I had kissed too many bottles I
Realized your game.  You
Think I’m weak, but that’s okay.

How dare you make me feel
Like my claim to my identity is something
Trivial and is yours to take.
I am not defined by your expectations
Of the man you think I should be
Or of the men you think I should love.
Am I supposed to introduce you to every
Guy I ****?

You see, you’re wrong if
You think that I’m ashamed of myself.
What I am ashamed of is the family that
Claims they will always be there for you
Unconditionally
Are only there when it’s convenient for them
Or only they like what you’re saying.

I am ashamed that you made me feel like
I was at home when
All you really cared about was building ammunition
To burn down the trust that I misplaced.
How dare you continue to lie to my face.
How dare you.

Sick of circling the same road.
Sick of bearing the guilt.
I’m so sick, infected with
A dream that we were dead
But we took everything life could give;
Almost thought we made it home.

I don’t know who I am anymore
And how can you look at me
When I can’t stand myself?
My scars are yours today
This story ends so good.

Tell me you hear my cry,
I hear haunted melodies calling me.
Lying when I say I’m free of pain;
I’m just paranoid of getting lost
Or that I might lose.
I’m pouring out passion.
I’m hanging by a thread.
Still I like to think you said
“This is not where the story ends.”

The sun will set on this, my dear.
We’ll cry tonight, and in the morning we are new.
I want to find the book and read it again
And savor in this heart that’s healing.
The dawn is breaking; we can see the fire glow.
Take my hand we’re almost home.

Whisper sweet nothings in my ear and
Tell me there’s nothing to fear.
In your arms it feels like home.
I never thought you’d
be mine to hold.

How can it be,
Everything I want is all you are.
Cursing the way we got our start.
Totally infatuated, by the thought of us. I’m a fool.
Obviously,I’ll never have you.
Reason is abandoned.

But perfection is that look in your eyes
Reboot my mechanical heart;
it’s broken down, Jump start my life.
The words you speak, a work of art,
To be yours is all I want.

Thinking about ‘I love you’
I haven’t felt this way in...
It’s been a while,
Enamored by your piercing stare.
You are my answered prayers.

I don't want to be your friend,
I want to be your lover.
I want to be the reason you smile,
and the person who makes your
Eyes light up the like the morning's first sun
I want to see your every candid moment.
I love you,
And I want you to love me too.

While I write these things with such ease,
I'll never say them aloud.
I can't speak for the way you think of me.

In a different place,
At a different time,
Living another life,
We could be the stuff that makes up dreams.

Your voice is like
The sound of rain falling and
Your touch is like Atlas, it
Moves mountains. Those
Lips like silk sheets and
Your tongue crashes into mine like
Ocean waves.

I breathe you in like
The scent of sweet summer wine.
I’m drunk.
The world spins and you
Catch me.

I am the moon,
You are the tide and
We dance an eternal set of steps.
They transcend the heavens and like
An enchanting New Mexico sunset
We find new life during the night.
When the sun rises, your light guides
Me home.
You’re mine.

Infuse the world with
the color of dreams.
Odium lingers,
though not what it seems.
Fashion your own destiny;
disrupt the established routine
Incite the change which suits your endeavor.
Join the fight or
be perpetually wandering
melancholy waters.

All the sheep herding
towards the predetermined goal
It’s the only way
They have absolute control.
Set fire. Repent. Only if for your soul.

The Spring of Hope runs eternal
through worry and doubt.
Dripping courage
It runs from within
The time has come,
Revolution

It's the moment of truth,
And all there’s to count on is
You.

Pen in hand, heavy as
the loaded gun.
Fight for the ******

The struggle is all you have.
Unleash the penance:
holes through their brains.

Force becomes the only way,
For messages heard, the
Carnage engraved.

If it helps, words are the means
To an end.
Embrace it, your new best friend.

A faceless stranger resides in my mind
A figure from a life passed.

Before you let me down,
All I wanted was for you to be proud.
A boyhood desire now gone because of your fire.
It burned everything.
Here am I am not but a shell.
There you are dead,
Though not in a literal sense.

Time heals wounds,
And your face from my mind.
A roar to a whisper your voice is muted.
It's one of a coward.

It seems strange that I once craved the regard
Of a depraved heart, one which never gave.
Father is just a title,
You the false idol.

At the end of all things
You just gave up and
Left me feeling bitter disgust.
My anger has long since faded
And all I know is how to feel nothing;
A recurring theme,

And that is what you taught me.
What remains of you? A shadow
Of a jaded past.  It's never been easy.
Though now I see with such clarity.

My eyes are like the desert
There's no tears to fill the mind's sky.
The one thing I learned is
I am strong.
I am not broken, just lost.

Uncertainty reigns supreme;
A ruling and stone heart king.
Rebellion is stirring
Whispers of uprising
A fire fueled by fear.
 
The War of Wills has raged
Since the beginning of time.
It's a war of the mind
He wants to conquer.

The walls of the empire
Come crumbling down
The truth has found its way out
Though remains worry and doubt.
 
He navigates a void
His only friend the night
Which never ends
And then
 
He's drowning in a lake of lies
And no one is there to save his life.
The task is his own
Because he's always alone
Till the moment he realized
 
All is out
In daylight to face.
Not looking for glory
But his own sanity lay in the stakes.

He looks behind and
A cold mourning takes hold
For all the things he should have done,
A remorse for that which cannot be changed.
 
When victory's in sight,
An end to endless nights
A final enemy appears.
His own reflection in a mirror.

Materialist dreams are all you know.
Live carelessly.
Work endlessly.
Afford luxury.
Gluttony.

Insatiable minds let money pile high
Making mountains to fill the hollow heart.
Greedy desire ignites deep from inside,
You live an empty life.
Will the money cry when you die?

I yearn for absolution.
Only indifference provides
A clear look at life.
The silent war ends, no time for amends,
Only to reprimand.
Enjoy your time in your own private hell.