Before you let me down,
All I wanted was for you to be proud.
A boyhood desire is now gone because of your fire.
It burned everything.
Here I am not but a shell.
There you are, dead.
Though not in a literal sense.

Time heals wounds,
And your face from my mind.
A roar to a whisper your voice is muted.
It's one of a coward.

It seems strange that I once craved the regard
Of a depraved heart.  One who never gave.
Father is just a title.
You, the false idol.

At the conclusion of all things you
You just gave up
left me feeling bitter and disgusted.
The anger has long since faded
And all I know is how to feel nothing;
A recurring theme.
And that is what you taught me.
What remains of you?  A shadow
Of a jaded past.  It’s never been easy
But now I see with such clarity.

My eyes are like the desert
No tears to fill the mind’s sky.
The one thing I learned is
That I am strong.
I’m not broken. Not lost.

We were reckless;
Young and on fire.
I’ll always remember the tenderness.
With bated breath we watched each other grow
From Crestview to Spruce Street
Our lives changed forever when
You said
“Should we try that again?”
Now you’re gone
And you took all I had to give.
All I’m left with are dusty photo albums
Filled with the people we used to be.

False glimmering smiles are always eager to
Make you believe
They are on your side.
Swift.
Eager.
Dying for
You to bend for them to feed.
You took my heart and set it on a dusty shelf
Next to our childhood.
I wanted to believe in you.
There’s always a fight and when you know
Nothing comes freely, you’re deluded when you think
That acceptance comes easy.
So when the day came that you thought it was your place
To tell me who I am because
I had kissed too many bottles I
Realized your game.  You
Think I’m weak, but that’s okay.

How dare you make me feel
Like my claim to my identity is something
Trivial and is yours to take.
I am not defined by your expectations
Of the man you think I should be
Or of the men you think I should love.
Am I supposed to introduce you to every
Guy I ****?

You see, you’re wrong if
You think that I’m ashamed of myself.
What I am ashamed of is the family that
Claims they will always be there for you
Unconditionally
Are only there when it’s convenient for them
Or only they like what you’re saying.

I am ashamed that you made me feel like
I was at home when
All you really cared about was building ammunition
To burn down the trust that I misplaced.
How dare you continue to lie to my face.
How dare you.

Sick of circling the same road.
Sick of bearing the guilt.
I’m so sick, infected with
A dream that we were dead
But we took everything life could give;
Almost thought we made it home.

I don’t know who I am anymore
And how can you look at me
When I can’t stand myself?
My scars are yours today
This story ends so good.

Tell me you hear my cry,
I hear haunted melodies calling me.
Lying when I say I’m free of pain;
I’m just paranoid of getting lost
Or that I might lose.
I’m pouring out passion.
I’m hanging by a thread.
Still I like to think you said
“This is not where the story ends.”

The sun will set on this, my dear.
We’ll cry tonight, and in the morning we are new.
I want to find the book and read it again
And savor in this heart that’s healing.
The dawn is breaking; we can see the fire glow.
Take my hand we’re almost home.

Whisper sweet nothings in my ear and
Tell me there’s nothing to fear.
In your arms it feels like home.
I never thought you’d
be mine to hold.

How can it be,
Everything I want is all you are.
Cursing the way we got our start.
Totally infatuated, by the thought of us. I’m a fool.
Obviously,I’ll never have you.
Reason is abandoned.

But perfection is that look in your eyes
Reboot my mechanical heart;
it’s broken down, Jump start my life.
The words you speak, a work of art,
To be yours is all I want.

Thinking about ‘I love you’
I haven’t felt this way in...
It’s been a while,
Enamored by your piercing stare.
You are my answered prayers.