I am here.
You,
elsewhere

out in the unknown you know so well
living the stories you will someday tell
kissing a set of lips, perhaps
wondering if they're the last or second to last
it might take you a second to realize they don't belong to me
I'm not there yet  

will you walk in through the front door or through the back window?
on a stormy night or a Sunday afternoon?

I promised myself I'd stop waiting
my eyes,
still fixated on the clock
my feet,
tired of walking back and forth

craving a set of arms I am yet to know
keeping myself together with fire and gold
wrapping my own arms around my half soul
waiting for you to come back home

if you must wait so long to come
maybe you shouldn't come at all
wait! forget what I said!
meet me at 5pm
be there, be the first to catch me
or the first to see me fall

I wish I was the cigarette you put between you lips at 3am
When you're half asleep and wondering where you are
I wish I was the blanket you tangle yourself in when you're feeling blue
I wish I was the raindrops kissing your face
And every bit of sunshine that has ever lighten up your eyes
I wish I was the moon, whose beauty has always set you up in a good mood
But I'm nothing but the daisy you you crashed under your feet while you were kissing her lips

there are days when your name is the only sound echoing in my head
there are days when I can't remember whether your eyes were green or gray the last time I saw your face
there are days when it feels like I lost a piece of my heart and mind when you walked out the door
and there are those heartbreaking days when it feels like you're a stranger I've never met
there are days when I can't do anything but remember
there are days when I can't forget

Regretting Some Past Mistakes
Realizing what's actually At stake
Feeling so helpless and confused
So many memories of your abuse
Screaming, kicking, punching
Just too much fighting
You always knew the best ways to hurt me
Now you wanna take away what means everything
Like your final play to torture me
For eternity
What right do you have to judge me?
To look down upon me?
I am only all that you've made of me
This so called monster that you love to hate
Is just the manifestation of what you helped create
You WILL regret this
In the end, you will lose
I won't let you win, not again
They'll realize what you're trying to do
Remembering the years of abuse
And they'll HATE you
You can never destroy a mother's love
Although I know you're willing to try
When I win this battle for what I hold dear
Don't come crawling to me with tears in your eyes
Cause I won't be here