no one smiles
it's always a lie

I once tried to smile
wished my own demise
proceeded to not die
hah, a meaningless prize
lonely whispers I sighed
at night, the wistful rise
amongst the many, only one tries
to pry open my darkened eyes

stay shut, with diminishing strength I say,
as it is only time I hopelessly wile away
Unfortunately, just like these words that I lay,
my life
is just a haze

not a lot

Only a trinket carved from diamonds
alongside a pristine enchanted mirror

Only a golden car
that, be it night or day, shines forever

Only a loving family
with a beautiful wife
and two cheery kids

Only a mansion
that could fit a plane in it,
with five floors,
five bedrooms, and five pools

Only a pretty face
with a not-so-pretty mind

Only a debaucherous heart
which could never find the right one

Only a sinful soul
unable to pursue happiness

Only an abusive mind
one that's never content with me

I have
not a lot.

I don't mean it like that!

wait, what do I mean?
I don't know
I try to mean something
but end up sitting in a dark room
walled up in my personal prison

kinda hurts
people judge all the time
they're just masks that smile and smile
it humors me when people tell me to smile
nobody smiles
nobody laughs

I have a reflection called the ego
to soothe it, I sit down in my favorite seat called society
and speak in an empty voice
but for some reason
the people just keep smiling
Nobody judges
but everybody does
and it hurts
a lot

"Am I ready?", I asked myself
A person in insolence
wondering about the world
unaware of the paths
that led to the darkest of hearts

I wasn't sure
I didn't know whether to think freely
or to be past the dream

I wanted to live with smiles
feeling glee, full of heart
but the warmth would not reach
the part I could not feel
I looked past the grass fields
To realize that there was nothing there
Nothing to be seen
And so I laughed
Cried with painful heart
And forgot the world
to the dark

I'm alright
A little tipped by
bad relations, bad expressions
But perhaps I will behave
and pertain to the world's demands

I'm just a human
with my wall of thought
of perception, of ego
A little buzz
in a sphere of buzzes
My thoughts, my prejudices
a meaningless whim
of part anger, part soul
To be free
is it not human necessity?

Ah, I incessantly thought
about mistakes, grievances
of the past, of haught
I forgot the written words
of the rulers of kingdoms forgotten
of the mighty greats that were finally broken
for all I have is an urge
To break through this wall
and perhaps be a bigger me
endlessly

I speak in whims,
you hear a glimpse
of sanity, pain, or grief
Yet there is no understanding.
Chitter-chatter, pitter-patter
I hear the world breathe
In verse, it reads
"Oh the tranquility of nature!
Beautiful, and peaceful"
The children near me rattle
They hiss without pith
I dreamt of bliss one night
Only to be interrupted
by a neighbour's fight!
But the world, so vast, so beautiful
issued me a degree in the art of breathing
and so I had learnt to articulate my voice
Thoroughly in this peaceful noise I spoke
Oh, the heavens simply broke!
I was the star of my world
and in that blissful remembrance
broke the painful encumbrance
That I was just another
in this bustling city

Thoughts that darken,
winters so sullen.
In an empty blizzard,
there lay a lizard

Wrought and tainted,
pitiful and dainted,
in his apathy ignited an empathy.
Full of life,
full of necessity

The lizard with his pointed tail,
pointed neck, pointed nose
pointed thoughts, pointed prose,
was lost with a snow covered heart

This heart burnt blue,
his emotions ensued,
passion he seeked,
his fortune naught,
in endless oblivion,
he mindlessly fought.

The lizard lay so empty
Stopped he did his walk,
for a talk

Thoughts that conspired
Dark and unintelligible
Wistful of loss
An escape
was all he sought

The lizard thought to move,
but this blizzard simply grew
his snow covered heart
with endless haught.
He simply did not align his intent
with what he thought

In finality he tried,
fearful of his demise
But try as he might,
the shallow reaches
of his snow-covered heart
did not blaze this simple desire.
And so he lay,
weeping in dismay.

In this very finality,
he lost to what life
was simply not
In endless wallows
Sirens roared
Apathetic triumph
Blissful want
In this snow-covered desert
His movement stopped.