I.

I fell for blue eyes because they looked much like my interior
And with broken glass still littered at my feet,
I was not in a position to let you catch my fall
Your arms would have been greeted by
Black and blue skin, dim eyes

II.

I became more than a skeleton
My cheeks were bright with
Blood pulsing under my skin
But you were like a fish in a river
Moving downstream and onto greater things
While I tried to follow, but could never catch up

III.

She came down upon you like a hawk
Carried you out of sight
And I was left with only a memory of your grasp
Words left unsaid etched on my lips
And even when she dropped you
You catching the wind like ashes
I was not enough to extinguish her flames

IV.

My whole being tells me to let you go
Because you will always leave me waiting
But I can’t give up on your carefree smile
Endearing eyes that promise me the world
When I look up into them
But my heart broke out of its chains long ago
And felt its way towards you
The moment it awoke from its slumber

I saw sparks
When you entered my life that hot August day
They flamed up with the fireworks
That shot from my heart with its every beat

You saw thick thighs
And in some cases that’s not bad
Every woman needs curves, right?
I had too many

My personality shrunk with my body
I was no longer alive
Just a shrinking mass
Heavy weight trying to float on water

I saw a fire
When I looked at myself in the mirror
My body the smoke
But there was no flame, unless you stuck your arm in

You saw my shrinking flame
And blew on it
Because oxygen fuels fire
But we exhale carbon dioxide
Now there is nothing left to shrink
Maybe it’s for the better

It was dark
I scaled the walls
Feeling them with shaking hands
Laughter was heard from outside the door
Probably my friends messing around
Unaware of my absence
I’m conscious of hands on my sides
He said he wanted to talk
What an odd way to start a conversation.

I could see the outline of his face through the dim light
Knowing that behind the shadows
Were the coffee eyes I melted in everyday
I could feel them pulling through the haze
Slowly closing as he pulled my waist to his
And then soft hands on my cheeks
Pressure on my lips
Hello foreign tongue,
Nice weather today
What an odd way to start a conversation.

My eyes were wide open
And I know that’s not how you’re supposed to kiss
(Not from experience or anything)
But I couldn’t grasp the situation
Years and years I had been waiting for this
It was great
Made my heart flutter in all the right ways
About half way in I realized
That back of my hand was a very bad kisser
But at least it didn’t drag me into an empty fire escape
What an odd way to start a conversation.

After a few minutes I pulled away
Lips tingling
I could feel the blood rushing to my head
Swinging my vision in violet loops
I looked up and could see him finally
My eyes adjusting to the gloom  
He smiled and stroked my hair
‘I thought you wanted to talk’
‘You should have seen that coming’
‘Maybe’
What an odd way to start a conversation.

I.
I should probably get some sleep
3am is not a time for pouring out sorrows onto paper
The morning is too young and the stars too bright

II.
I should be dreaming of
blue eyes and summer nights
Instead I am writing of old heartbreaks
and drowning in my fifth cup of coffee

III.
My mother reckons I should get some sleep
When she finds me in the morning
Lights on, slumbering into the warm keyboard
And grocery bags under my eyes
Big enough that I stumble trying to lift them

IV.
I should probably get some sleep
When my thoughts start to get obscene
And I am dialing numbers that I shouldn’t be
But sometimes I find it difficult
To lie down in a peaceful rest
When I don’t know if there’s anything worth waking up to