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Losing a friend is like mourning a loved one.
Your heart breaks,
You can't spend more than a couple hours without thinking about them.
Then you see a picture, you have a memory, or you see them,
And it all comes rushing back.
The good, the bad.
Everything you want to remember and everything you don't.
But now you don't want to remember it at all.
You just want it all to go away,
For the memories to subside,
To be lucky enough to never see them around,
To never have them pass your mind.
Meanwhile, you're losing your mind.
You can't stop thinking about them or dreaming about them.
You can't suppress the memories because they were just too perfect.
Now you're left to wonder,
Wonder why they left,
Wonder what you've done.
But all you have left is a heartbreak that can't be undone.
I'm a daughter hiding her depression
I'm your sister trying to make a good impression
I'm a friend acting like I'm fine
I'm a teenager pushing her tears aside
I'm the girl sitting next to you
I'm the one asking you to care
I'm your best friend hoping you'll be there.
  Mar 2015 Renukha Selvaraja
MonkeyZazu
Sorrow filled heart
permeates throughout
a broken soul.  

The body reflects
inwardly out
all the pain felt.

Solace sought
but not found
furthering their agony.  

Too sad to live
too broken to move
they lie there
numb.

Struggling
barely getting by
yet somehow
finds the strength
to carry on.
  Mar 2015 Renukha Selvaraja
Pete
I'm sorry I let you down;
I'm sorry all I did was to make you frown.
I'm sorry I can't make you laugh for now;
For I am not a clown.

I just want to make you feel in love;
Just like a flying dove.
I'm looking in the eyes of Love;
Where it is beautiful like the stars from above.

How can I make you smile?
Do you want to be alone for awhile?
Or I should stay away from you more than a mile.
This is nothing but another depressed soul

Typing away all that I know

See I've been months clean

But there is things unseen

A smile that is fake

A laugh they can't take

Beneath it all something I couldn't take
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