The thoughts pile up
Pushing hard against my lips
Trying to find a way to make sense

A snarl of words
Vex my thoughts

The "United" States of America
is a new kind of concentration camp.

It is filled with humans that can no longer feel any pain.
Humans that have their freedoms taken from them,
but they enjoy it.

They are shackled to their chairs.
Their gazes are trapped in the screens of their televisions.
This is their only Window.

Beneath the surface of a book,
Another world stands still,
Tucked between blank pages,
Sitting on a windowsill.
Here it is called the Netherworld,
The place where Time begins,
Where the newly dead come and gather,
To wash away their sins.
The shoreline stretches ever on,
Until the pages end,
A vastness spreading ever outwards,
Until few can comprehend,
That there is nothing in this ocean vast,
Save the troubles of the free;
People living outside this world,
Who can hear, and sing, and see.
Opposite our troubled sea,
Are the plains, bleak and bare.
Do not dwell too far beyond,
Or forever at the horizon you'll stare,
Acquainted only by a maddening curse,
As forever the land you'll roam;
The whispering of the forgotten,
And the ones you left at home.
And fear always the Eidolon,
Who answers only as "Death",
For he offers us no solace here,
And has long since stolen your breath.
So forever we sit, waiting ever on,
In a world that has long stood still,
Tucked between blank pages,
Sitting on a windowsill.

You can be so arrogant sometimes it astounds me. The way in which you can casually dismiss those that love you, not even acknowledging the presence of those that long to be close...

And still I love you, we love you, the world loves you. That what's so infinitely frustrating isn't it?  That you have all these charms, abilities, powers, and you let us know, you let us feel inferior. But thats not your fault is it? That we feel intimidated around you. If we could ask, if we could say, what do you think of us? What might you reply? Would you throw you head back and laugh? No. Some might think you would but I know you better then that. You'd say you're human. That you're scared too. That at times you feel only as powerful as the weakest of entities , that you know how it feels to be afraid.

You're love and lust for life is incredible, you even surprise me after all these years. Few people know just how grateful your are to be alive. That every time you open you're eyes, every time you inhale you're grateful... Few people know that you have an overwhelming loving energy, and it scares you. That you try to **** it with drugs and alcohol, scared it might consume you, bringing about uncontrollable laughter or tears. Few people know how you long to be close, how you want to smile at them, hug them, touch them........but don't.

How you'd rather face a man with a knife then rejection. How being unwanted is something you've grappled with you're whole life. Few people know you've carried the scars of you're best friends death for the past 6 months everyday.

No one knows you've hated you're intelligence. That the burden of knowing consumes you. Knowing how your step dad threaten to **** himself, knowing that you're mother tried to **** herself. That if she hadn't put down that note you wouldn't even be here. Knowing you're the product of a drug addict and a girl rebelling against her family. No one knows that you have no one to hold and hold you. Someone, with which you can be weak and sink into away from a world that has given you nothing but tough love.

Thats harmed you, stabbed you,starved you.

But know this, the world turns and the day will come when you will never settle for less,
the day will come when you stand strong and confident in your own skin,
the day will come when you emerge as a lion defending those that love you against the world,
the day will come once again when you love freely,

Know that light pierces dark,
the individual can conquer,
that to be a man is to be honest, responsible, and caring, not a stereotype,
know that you were made for a reason
know that you're scars will heal,
and more  than anything else know that,
i know,
that all this will come to pass beyond a reasonable doubt

because I......am you

sometimes i wish i could stop breathing

so i could stop thinking

so i could stop seeing you,
and her

and feeling all alone.

And when the frost bite bit him,
it stung.
It latched on to his tongue,

razor sharp teeth digging into
the fleshy muscle.  Crawled
to the back of the mouth and in
one desperate swallow, fell down
into the pits of the digestive system where
the intestines did their best to burn it out.
But such a cold is freezing to the point of fire
and leaves the heat of the insides
steaming and then terminally frozen.

Such a timid shiver is now the bottomless cold
living inside him.
And when the frost bite bit him,
it liked the taste and never left.

I'm always damning myself.

But at least
It's always
My
Decision.