Fear stood in your way
The outcome cannot deny
You said yes to love

Yellow summer sky
heat, the smell of long grass
I wanted to stay here with you
and these rocks forever
every second slipping away
killed me a little

The question isn’t
why we hurt ourselves,
but why you don’t.  
Are you so full
of happy chemicals
gushing sweet syrup
candy coming
in your mouth?
Lucky you
able to ignore
all the goings on
we sense
animal pain
repeated unreasonable
demands compulsory
convulsing guts requiring
repetition compulsions
over and above
all the *******
you shrug off.
*******
go ahead
your head
clear of the mud
our feet stick in
cut free
the only way
to escape,
the only way
to stick around.

When you're lucky enough
to find yourself having great ***,
you keep going.
Prudence pushed aside,
nurses her sore feelings for another day.
This day,
you keep going
until everyone is spent.

With animal ***,
you simply open the orifice,
accept the appendage,
and mop up the mess.

With drug ***,
millions invade.
I just lay there, open
wanton
innocent synapses
entirely vulnerable,
and invite the eager hordes in.

Plasticity pushed aside,
nurses her sore feelings for another day.
This day,
I keep going
in orgiastic union
with some very
promiscuous molecules.

Exploring the outlines
of submission
I find dominance.
Will holding instinct
underwater
just to prove it can.
Topping from the bottom:
use me
the way I want to be used
or I will ***** holes
in your engorged ego
by being bored.

My one control:
showing up to submit.
Your one duty:
Taking what I offer.
Keep taking it
possess me
wrap me around yourself
tight like the skin of a drum
beating me
banging me
trapped in that rhythm
I am finally free.
Don’t you dare stop ******* me
or if you must
at least have the decency
to tell me what to do next.

Helping her get by for months
Standing next to her pain
I thought she would help me.
But her rule broken,
She discarded me
With love she said.
Who knew love felt
Lke a dagger in the heart.

As one now
in thought and rhythm
missionaries of that  
***** fever dream
called humanity
skin of the Mother Goddess,
Earth.  And let me tell you,
she is one ***** mother.  
All her trees,
their roots penetrating
deep into her soils.  
All her creatures,
rutting day and night,
her atoms come alive.  

Mother Earth came alive
to **** herself.  
Mother Earth has come alive,
and you are her,
writhing on your bed.  
Mother Earth has come alive,
and I am her,
breathing in your ear
**** us all,
for Goddess sake,
**** us all.

End all obligatory cheerleading
take a sober look at life
animals ****** into existence
cursed with awareness
we yearn daily for meaning
only to be buried under an avalanche
of tasks we would not choose
if only we could design our own world
without this incessant need to eat and ****
with only hope to stitch together
the stories we were raised on.

We were all raised on lies.
Santa Claus, God, Democracy,
all known to be untrue,
in the hearts of even the most earnest
mommies and daddies,
almost certainly untrue, all of it,
as they fed us, the society of lies,
one spoonful at a time into our innocent mouths.

Every mommy and daddy learns why,
as their guilty hearts realize why truth
can’t be told to the glistening, trusting eyes
of their most precious spawn.

Eat up, my dear thing.  Maybe
you’ll find someone else to help share
your burden, maybe to love.
Live long, and watch them all die,
Watch your every labor crumble and blow away,
just in time for all your precious memories
to rot in the ground.

The heart dares not tell the truth, even to itself,
dares not invite the question no
mommy or daddy is prepared to answer:
Why?  Why did you create me in such a world?
Because I wanted someone young to fetch me things.
Because my life was empty.
Because that’s what mommies and daddies do.
Because I’ll die first, so it’s safe to love you.