it gives me this calm, your arms
it gives me this quiet peace
which i know that i cannot forever keep
i try to treasure it
in the moments that i can
i try to stitch your face so badly into my head
because soon i know, i will never see it again

The only reason you can't move on is because you choose to lay awake at night reading old messages, getting your hopes up and wondering how it could of been. You know that letting go is not easy but you don't even give it a try, you remain in the same depressed state because you choose to be in denial and hold onto this fantasy. If you do not get out there and try to be happy you never will be the choice is yours.

There was a time when you praised me.
Always looking up to me, now that has passed.
The way you look at me today is nothing but disappointment.
Shaking your head while faking a smile.
Secretly saying the words what the hell happen to her.
I see the snarkness in your eyes breaking me.
I feel the words stinging as you mock and make fun of my goals,
my life,
who I am.
It use to shake me as I pummeled to the ground.
Time has shaped me.
You no longer burn me instead you ignite my fire.
Torching every obstacle in my way.
Leaving you to clean up my ashes in my passing.

I sit in the steaming hot water naked and vulnerable, both mentally and physically  to blemishes accumulated on me.
The mental thoughts race back and forth between  my eyes playing and rewinding  back through mistakes I have made.
Remembering the wrong paths that dramatically  changed my history.
As the water rises I feel the anxiety inside my chest making me hyperventilate profusely.
I close my eyes plunging my face into the water, feeling my hair floating over me.
Staying under as I feel the anguish of the misconceptions of my life fall off of me.
coming up as if awakening from the dead, while ceaselessly  stepping out of the ***** water leaving it behind.
I peer into the mirror inhaling the air surrounding.
Slowly wrapping my arms tightly around my body, letting the women in the mirror know I except her.
Telling her I will always love and fight for her.

My cherished love
Don't add tears to this world
Over the loss of fragrant
Forests and
Comforting rock

We are not stuck
In this nightmarish
Place
We'll dive face first
Into a painting
Of picturesque
Landscapes

Pull the paint off our
Arms
And smear new colors
Onto canvass
Here
We'll merge with
Art and start
A new life
In a world
Of our creation

Be in control
Of our own
Destination