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Alert and conscious eyes agape
Heartbeat steady wide awake
Staring blankly at the wall
Dreams escaping one and all.

Discomfort present all night long
Heat and lumps and rage
Anger that I cannot sleep
Within my waking cage.

My mind refuses rest
As sweat forms on my chest
I curse the early hours
In which my mood now sours.

Where are you fickle sheep
Whose absence makes me weep.
 Jan 2015 Porsche Newell
Juneau
We are all connected consciously.
Experiencing one another subjectively.
We are all one universally.
Look closer and soon you'll see,
that all matter is condensed energy.
Can you feel it pulse from me?
Beating in and out rhythmically.
Renewing itself repeatedly.
All things have a frequency.
Each wave, different like you and me.
Harmonizing in a similar key.
Drifting out into eternity.
There is so much that you can’t see.
The building blocks of reality.
Destroying and creating endlessly.
Infinite possibility.*
Existence  *cycles continuously.
Matter shifts from you to me.
Choosing where to go unbiasedly.
Tempestuous, chaotic entropy.
All things are connected musically.
A never-ending melody.
It has been and will always be.
Vibrations existing in harmony.
March 16, 2013
Seventeenth
Inspired by Bill Hicks
 Jan 2015 Porsche Newell
Juneau
just take a moment and think about this
what if all that icy rock didn't miss
and gave our planet a passionate kiss
like a disgruntled lover out of the abyss

what if today, our planet earth did not avoid
the two-thousand and four  b l eighty-six asteroid
could you imagine if we were all destroyed
leaving our spot in the galaxy now devoid

what if today was earth's final dance
and all of known life just ended by chance
mother earth's battered in another romance
does the universe even know of our significance
no

January 26, 2015

fifty-two
 Jan 2015 Porsche Newell
Juneau
party at my place
yet i'm here in my own room
socially awkward

can't stay here too long
silent alone in my room
deep breath, here we go
January 24, 2015
fifty-one
for the love of whoever
is listening at this hour

there is a sickness that
I'm stricken with

It's not in cough or
runny nose,

no body aches or
pains or physicality

it is an absence of
your beauty

that keeps me up &
has me stricken since

you flooded long
drought suffered

land, with piercing
look and
outstretched hand

there is new life
forming and flowing

it's all thanks to you,
you know

I want to be bitter,
but I so desperately

want you so much
nearer

humor me. please.
let me believe that you
actually want me.
here I am writing you another

I wish I could stop
it's tragic and it's beautiful
bountiful and bound to fall
it's everything and nothing
and all things in between

my heart sinks, my lips arch
my feet walk, my hands grasp,
my eyes seek, spirit falters,
my skin yearns for
brushes against hers

my dreams mature, though, &
grow closer to a grave below

the green grass now
covered in white sorrow

you are the ghost,
the spirit of snow

fleeting, near-perfect
sad, wonderful

but I long to be
enveloped by thee

I long to see the
ice up to my knees

I'll disappear and
freeze, in that moment

that beautiful moment
eternally yours,
perpetually ours

frozen in time,
frozen in beauty

I'll freeze to death
if you let me
stream of consciousness kind of or whatever

I keep on writing about the same thing
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