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 Dec 2019 Mark Toney
ktle
Day one.
I spilled all I felt
On the ground around your feet
And with great relief,
You picked up all the pieces
And held them close to your chest
In a humble wooden box.

Day two.
We both laughed at my petty jealousy.
At the time, I thought it was because
There’s no need for doubt
Since we found each other.

Day five.
We sat close,
Smiles on our faces,
As we continued with our everyday life,
Knowing something was a little different.
A little happier.
A little more beautiful.

Day seven.
Not many words were said,
But they weren’t needed either.
We simply needed to glance
At each other once
For a the corners of our lips
To curve upward just a little.

Day nine.
We looked at each other
With the innocence of children
And after
Our share of laughter,
You opened your arms
And we held each other close
For the first time.

Day ten.
The nervousness in me
Subsides like a wave
With just a bit of your
Reassurance.

As we sit side-by-side,
When the sun begins to set,
My mind wanders from
The spectacle before us.
None of it really matters to me,
My head is too full
With the thought of you.

And when you call my name,
Everything seems so perfect,
And even more so when
We hold each other close
For the second time.

Day twelve.
As quickly as it went up,
The tint of rose comes
Crashing down.
As I blink away the tears,
I’m surprised to find the world
Just as it was before
I began loving you.
Untouched, unbothered,
Just empty.
Amongst the broken glass,
Sits the memories of days
One through ten.  
And despite the pain,
I bring
Each memory close to my chest,
And hold on desperately,
Like they will fade if
I let go even just a little.

The end.
living in our day ten
A lonely girl,
With vacant stares,
Screaming in silence,
But no one cares;
Her pain goes unnoticed,
No one can tell,
She smiles like an Angel,
But is living through hell;
Her eyes brim with madness,
She cuts her own skin,
Her sad little smile,
Fades and grows thin;
Scars on her body
Scars on her soul
This hateful world
Has taken its toll
This poem is about all the girls, who you feel are perfect. Who you feel are never sad, or broken
Anger is a virus
A virus that once unleashed can’t be stopped
A virus that spreads
A virus that needs not even air to thrive
It thrives off of you
Draining you from your hope
It can’t be placed in quarantine
Even if you force it down beneath the surface
So you don’t have to hurt anyone
Especially someone you love
Even if it’s not their fault
So it  gets pushed down further, and further
until one day a trigger will be pushed
You try to become sad instead of angry
But one day you realize anger feeds upon itself
Sadness triggers it
You can’t escape
So you become distant from the ones you love
So you don’t hurt them
But you’re only postponing the inevitable
This goes out to every time you feel, that your angry.
Life,
Pain,
Betrayal,
Loss,
Grief,
Depression,
Hatred,
Are all related.
Happiness,
Joy,
Laughter,
Are just illusions
And a phrase.
Like a candle
It can only last so long
Until it is no more.
Then reality sinks back in.
You are worse
Worse than before the candle
Now you know
What it’s like
To have the smell
The smell you now long for
So you try to find another
Way to feel the way you did
But it never last
You are having to face the truth
But the thing about the truth
Is it always changing.
This is for the broken ones like me.
Some days
I feel everything at once
Other days
I feel nothing at all

I don’t know what worse
Drowning beneath the waves
Or dying from the thirst.
This is who I feel at the moment.
They say,
Change is,
Good
They don't say,
Change is,
Different
Be careful,
Not to be too careful
Be careful,
Not to be careless

Care

I dont care, if you care more
I dont care, if you care less

The verb is care

The universe will take care of you
That way you dont lose your humanity
Why
Why can others drop out of your life,
but you can't?

Why is it okay for others to hurt you,
but it's not okay to hurt yourself?

Why is it okay for others to stab you,
but you can't yourself?

Why is it okay for others to hate you,
but you can't hate yourself?

W
H
  Y
   ?
  Y
H
W

Why is it okay for others to make you sick with loss
when they know you won't be able to get better?
Recently I have been, through more than I think I can bear. My best friend committed suicide, other best friend left me, my parents are sick. And all I have left is that one friend, Chris.
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