"This is not normal."
That's what I said when I felt the sudden jolt in my heart.
You're making my heart beat abnormally.

"This is not normal."
What my mind speaks whenever I'm smiling for no reason.
I know. I look stupid that time.

"This is not normal."
I muttered when I caught myself staring at you.
My eyes saw what perfection means.

"This is not normal."
When I wanted to have you even in my dreams.
I wanted to be with you all the time.
I couldn't last a day without your presence.

"This is not normal."
When all this time I'm hiding something from you.
I'm afraid. I'm scared that you're going to leave me after that.
I don't want to lose you.

"This is not normal."
You're the only person I'm not afraid to tell everything.
Not afraid to tell everything except for one.

"This is not normal."
This is no longer me.
I'm so in love that it changed everything.

"This is not normal."*
I had to stop.
Because I know what we have now.
Is all temporary.

I know* it when you're mad,
I'll just look at you and try to understand everything because you're mood is already ******-up.
I know what you like and dislike,
I would just let you pick what you like and never argue on non sense things.
I know it when you're happy,
I can see it through your eyes, my favorite part, the way you look at me happily and how effortless you make me smile too.
I know how much you love me,
those 'I love you', when you're kissing me goodbye, late night  talks and surprises makes my heart flutter everytime.
I know it when you're sad,
by just replying me late and whenever I'm asking what took you so long, you will tell me that you had a walk. I know what it means, when you're walking alone you are not feeling well and something's bothering you.
But the thing that *I don't know, that I wished I didn't know..
You're going to leave me in the end.
I wished not to know that part,
I wished you did not let me know.

I was scrolling,

Because my heart keeps on searching
for my everything
Right now it's nothing
but it will turn into something,
if you keep on waiting.

And so I turned my phone off thinking,
why do I keep on writing
about the things that I'm dreaming
or what I'm feeling.