.
                                  mmm
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                      mmmmm    mmmmm
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                         mmm             mmm

last night, my room was illuminated by the flashing of red and blue; police sirens filled the air. it reminded me of the sudden flashbacks that had been clouding my mind, and the fear acted as a warning that starts to creep in every vein of my body because i know what happens when i start to remember the memories we had vividly.

last night, the ticking of the clock kept breaking the silence every other second. it reminded me of the way the silence sat still between us and i could hear my heart beating in my ears every other second, loud and clear.

last night, i watched the time changing but i always missed the change in a blink. it reminded me of the way i never expected you to change in a blink, so sudden, no matter how much i prepared for it.

last night, i kept adjusting my blanket because it was either too hot or too cold. it reminded me of the way you were hot and cold; you were indecisive but i never stopped trying to adapt to you.

last night, my hand reached out into the space beside me where it was constantly empty every single night. it reminded me of the way i reached out to you when you were beside me and ending up with nothing but distance every single time.

She said to me, at 3 am, that I wasn’t over it,
that I’d not truly forgiven, not even myself,
because I still remembered the details
of what I thought I needed to forgive.....
With that, she sent me to my bed, told me
it was late, and it was, and so I slept,
and dreamt of starlit seas and oceans of them above
No clear horizons between them, separate still they remained,
with no reason for one to resent the other's beauty
When I awoke, to late summer sun so warm,
I wondered, that I couldn't think of why....
Why she'd so rarely cried in front of me
And then I let the thought, the tattered, misty thought,
scatter in wispy tendrils into oblivion, burning away cleanly,
like the last, ragged bits of an early morning fog

You almost left
I almost let you

I have always loved the darkest tales,
those Grimm stories of old.
Lives not lived lightly.
Lives in despair.
The constant desire for gold.
Lost in the forest.
Locked in a turret.
Left behind on the road.
Abandoned to all the
Wild Beasties there,
Witches, Ogres and Toads.
What becomes of those innocent babes
as each tale unfolds?
Some end up happy.
Some end up dead.
Some we shall never know.