I can only fall asleep when I dream of you
Cause I need the hope of your return to
get through the day
and night
I want to let go but
my heart won't let me
not yet

the lies that hurt the most
are the ones you tell yourself

my name is bitter on your lips.
i know because i can see the way
your eyes flash, your lips curl.
i am not sweet licorice anymore.

but that is strange, because i was
never sweet. you just bit into my
center. i am the darkness in the
light. do not look into my eyes
and dare tell me what is wrong
or what is right.

you however, oh, you were always
sweet. bitter as the shell but soft
on the inside. you, oh, you were
the light inside the darkness.

i enjoyed swirling your blood on
my tongue, coating my sense of
taste in nothing else but you, sweet.
but i bit my tongue and you stung.

oh, how you stung.
and i finally knew
what it was like
to love someone
like me, as someone
such as you.

because darkness can only exist with the absence of light.
and i never needed you to complete me.

“hi, i’m wolf” his eyes were silver. the silvered-eyed boy with brown skin.

i remember this. i remember him, the way his tongue would fiddle with his silver lip-ring on the right side of his mouth. the silver pointed studs that hooked through his left eyebrow.

the way he said my name.

i was always “carnage” from where i came. i wasn’t named that, no. but they would say it anyway, just to see if i would flinch. if i fell for it, they would follow with “you break everything you touch”.

if i fell for that?

that was why my blood was usually the one running down the sink on those nights.

“your name isn’t carnage, really? you don’t look like someone who could hurt that many souls.” my eyes fell away from his, ashamed. “tell me you don’t believe that, little lamb”

so that became my new name.

The Steps to Success:

1. Stand up for what you believe in; unless it goes against what society does, in which case you can kindly shut the hell up.

2. Don't let anyone stifle your creativity. But don't be too creative, you won't get anywhere in life because art doesn't matter after high school.

3. Express yourself. Unless of course your self expression makes others uncomfortable, then you must hide who you are in favor of what's normal.

4. Focus on the good in the world, even though the media is constantly full of mass shootings and suicide bombings.

5. Get a good night’s sleep every night. But only after you've done 6 hours of homework, eaten a full meal (not too much, we wouldn't want you to get fat), attended an extracurricular, and spent time with your family.

6. Mental health is important. But it isn't as important as homework, essays, and standardized tests. School always comes first.

7. Don't disrespect your elders. Even if they have beaten you down mentally and physically your entire life, they're older than you and therefore smarter. Respect them.

8. Be confident in who you are. But don't be too fat, not too thin either. Don't wear a lot of pink, but watch how much black you put on too. It's okay to feel good without makeup, but a bit of eyeliner wouldn't hurt. No, not like that, here's a makeup wipe; you wearing way too much.

i hope that when they look at me, they can see your ghost in my shadow