Peter Gerstenmaier

Peter Gerstenmaier Nov 2024

Bleed

I often think about
How he took you to
That filthy motel and
Made you bleed just
So that he wouldn't

One of my best friends got pregnant when she was a teenager. She was very scared, but wanted the child anyway. Yet her ******* boyfriend (the father) took her to a motel and made her do an abortion.
She never recovered and took her life within a year... no woman should be forced to do an abortion. Just as any woman should be forbidden to do one.

#bleed #abortion

Peter Gerstenmaier Oct 2024

Hell

I've given up religion
After every church said
There's a special place
For people like me
Just for trying to
Make my pain
Go away

My father beat me up pretty badly for as long as I can remember... when I was fifteen I said no more and gave him a little of what he deserved - and got kicked out of his house for it. That same week my first girlfriend dumped me.
It was just too much for a teen to handle without proper help and it seemed like that despair would stay forever. So I went to 3 different drug stores and bought every pain killer I could get my hands into... and took them all at once. I was so lucky my system rejected them and made me throw up.
So that's why I cut the cord from church... isn't God love? Isn't God forgiveness? Or am I doomed almost from the start?
I like to think not... I like to think that's no more than an earthly claim.

#religion #church #hell #pain #suicide

Peter Gerstenmaier Oct 2024

Gap

If filling the gap
Between the man I am
And the one you deserve
Isn't enough reason to
Get up in the morning
Then I don't know
What ever will

I like to think I'll get there...

#gap #deserve

Peter Gerstenmaier Oct 2024

Ode to coffee

Only you can take
Me out of bed and
Get me through the
Dullness of my day
Only you can give me
Energy enough to keep
All those intrusive
Thoughts at bay

No need for sugar
No need for cream
I like you dark
Bitter and true
I believe we make
Such a perfect team
When we're together
I never feel blue

So call it love
Call it addiction
I couldn't care less
If I have a cup of
Hot strong coffee
I won't fade to stress

Just one cup will be fine... or maybe twenty.

#coffee #ode #energy

Peter Gerstenmaier Oct 2024

Mind over body

Mind over body
Is what they tell me
Yet I can't help to feel
That's just placing
A broken thing
Over another

I feel so exhausted lately... in every single way. Hopefully it shall pass.

#mind #body #broken

Peter Gerstenmaier Oct 2024

Routeless

I wish things could be
As simple as they were
Back then when I would
Pick you up at school
And we'd drive
All day long
Routeless

I miss being young and carefree by your side

#simple #drive #routeless

Peter Gerstenmaier Oct 2024

Death and taxes

It'll all work out
It'll all work out
It'll all work out

These are the words
I've been repeating
To myself nonstop for
The past few months
Like a compulsive
Prayer

But I'm not sure
Of them anymore
To be honest I'm not
Quite sure of anything
These days other than
Death and taxes

A piece about anxiety... plus, I'm a tax auditor, so a little joke about work as well.

#anxiety #death #taxes