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pencaricahaya Nov 2014
So it finally happened
I saw it coming long ago,
So I utterly snapped
And the fall came to a stop.

My glass heart broke
Into a thousand shards and pieces,
Not to be put together again
Not while its spark of light it misses.

And so I felt it:
The apprehension of my chest, the silent horror screams,
Everything going dark, and my transparent despair tears.

Nothing novel here of course
The common fate of things delicate,
Left unguarded and exposed
In this night so desolate.

And there is nothing left to burn
Nothing now inside remains,
Only ashes black and white
That for a while will not ignite,
And the void inside my chest
That ***** life and light and flesh.

None of this her fault is
All the blame is on me,
I plunged into love's abyss
Enchanted by its melody.

Perhaps that's what hurts the most
Having no one else to blame,
I can't escape my dreamy coast
And must endure alone the shame.

So my heart broke today
And I had no one there to hold,
So shall I wander astray
And for a while be alone.
Shame on me
Shame on the moon
Shame on the night
But never on you
  Nov 2014 pencaricahaya
Rupal
1** ~   Figure out what you want,
                      learn to ask for it. Nobody
                      can read your mind.

2 ~    Nobody will love you the
                      way you imagined.

3 ~     Life does not come
                       with a reboot option.

4 ~     People are not covered
                       under manufacturer's warranty.

5 ~     Everything comes with a
                       shelf life, including
                       relationships.

6 ~    Nothing is permanent.
                       Nothing comes free.
                       Why pay for temporary
                        illusions.

7 ~      Even if they hate you.
                        At least they tried.

8 ~      You only live once
                         till you die once.

9 ~       Make happiness a
                         compulsion. Don't let
                         sorrow choose you.

10 ~    Sometimes lose everything.
                         You realize your worth.
pencaricahaya Nov 2014
tonight
all my cigarettes
taste so sweet.
At least there was smoke
pencaricahaya Nov 2014
Owl
Pale miracle
Take me away
In your adroit and silent wings
Made for the night
Don't go just yet
Take me with you
To the darkness
my darkness
To the silence
my silence
To the loneliness
my loneliness

why does my heart keeps on falling
*for those who can't take me with them?
pencaricahaya Nov 2014
Dreamt of you again.
Shall I whether smile or weep?
How can you still haunt me?
Asleep or awake?

I should hate you,
Wish I could.
pencaricahaya Nov 2014
We who like poetry,
We who read these heartbreaking tidings.
We are quite the voyeurs:
Witnessing the silent struggle of our fellow poets,
While they wear their "heart on their sleeve".

While they open their heart and pour their suffering
Too honestly to be good,
Too ambiguously to be known,
Too blue to be shared,
But strong enough it can be felt.

It ain't easy to write of your own demise,
And yet you will only talk of these things to the blank page:
Who won't judge, nor bring advise.
Just a release, just a way to express ourselves, that staring page,
Expectant to be carved with our confessions, with our heart:
A love vampire.

And as a friend of mine says:
"Unrequited love is the best food for a poet's soul"
Yet it's bitter no end, yet it's saddening no end.
As a friend of mine says:
"Poets are faded blue"
Yet it's hard to lose all joy, be colorblind.
You don't write to feel good,
You write 'cause you feel bad.

And we who like poetry,
Seek in those lines ourselves,
We rejoice on finding there
A phrase or two that tell
That we're not alone
And that others
Suffer too.
"heart on their sleeve" from A Poet Is by LittleFreeBird
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/889091/a-poet-is/
http://hellopoetry.com/littlefreebird/

"Unrequited love is the best food for a poet's soul"
By Dajena M.
http://hellopoetry.com/dajena-mason/

"Faded blue is the color of poets"
By L@dy
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