had i made th other choice
would you have wrestled with me
the demons of Hell?

would i be here right now?

where are you?
safely in the arms of another?

did i make the wrong choice?

did you cry at all?
am i here?

are either of us wondering?

did you wonder for a split second
why this might happen?

am i doomed to wander endlessly?

but i'm prepared.

better than to see you fall too.

i didn't accept her
cuz the age difference might have driven my girlfriend insane.

i didn't accept her
cuz her beauty might have driven my girlfriend insane.

i didn't accept her
cuz her intelligence might have driven my girlfriend insane.

i didn't accept her
cuz her social status might have driven my girlfriend insane.

that girlfriend hasn't spoken to me in a decade.

lesson learned.

No one loves me
I'm not worth a single drop of blood

It would be wasted
If you spilt it for me

And dry your tears
For I'm the only one that has to cry

This time,
So there's no use shedding them for me

Sometimes, I wish I knew
How to disappear completely

So no one would remember my voice
Have no memories with me

I feel like life
Would merrily move along

If I were just simply
Gone
                     Gone

    Gone.

there were times
detached coherence
and unforgiving circumstances................

somewhere between the weeping wall and our bedroom door

there lied a cry
for validation
for sleep
for PEACE

but that was not to happen
it wasn't "in the cards" you said.

where are we going?
where have we been?

does one cancel out the other?

are our 2 missions diametrically opposed?

it doesn't seem so.

we just both wanted attention.

just in different ways.

how is your hearing?
how is your memory?

the lines cross
and what's left is a glorious blur of revisionism.

the woman ate the girl
and now she's hungrier.

time's expanse does not exclude you
or include me.

the harbinger was attraction.
we should have seen this coming.

but you won.
but you're miserable.
so i guess i won.

but at what cost?

the fragments are still flying.

neither of us see in color or in black and white.

we just weigh measurements
and hope one got more than the other.

a tug of war between the blind and the deaf.

and as long as shots don't ring out
the least damaged will go home.

My heart
Is a happy drunk
A little too open
A little too optimistic
It's over in the corner of the bar
Playing poker
Screaming at the top of it's lungs
I'M ALL IN
When it's never
To this day
Had a winning hand

My heart
Is a sad drunk
A little too lonely
A little too caught up in tears
It's over at the counter
Forcing the bartender to take its keys
Because it would rather not go home
Than go home alone again

My heart
Is a reckless drunk
A little too unbalanced
A little too impaired
It's over by the door
Making everyone nervous
A little too good at scaring people away
A little too far gone

Like you
A little too far gone
Turn your head
Shuffle away and pretend you don't notice
The breakdown of a heart
Too drunk on feelings
To know when to stop