When my sun was down
You were nowhere to be found
When nothing but smiles all around
You bask in the joy of all our fun

So when I do the things you don’t like
When I say what you think isn’t alright
How can you look at me in dismay
Point fingers whisper rumours away

When my skies were nothing but gray
Tears falling every single day
All you did was look away
Pretend everything was okay
You were never there anyway

So afraid of the hurt that comes after love
I push away anything that could become
Making a mess of feelings attractions
Hiding from anything that could be real

You came to me like a little child
Opened eyes pure soul a big hug
So fragile so innocent sadly
exactly my fear, kicked myself into
the dirt before anything else could

How could you possible understand
Me and the things I do when even I
Question myself every single day why
Chasing a could of insanity straying
From the peace and the calmness

Presented infront of you all the right
Choices decisions option lined up
They seemed to make sense but no
You had to pick the one less travelled
Risk everything you had and live with
Absolutely no regret

Wake up early
Do things that make you happy
In hopes they make you happy

Push them out
Not down
If they are out they might come back
But if their down they can only come out

In time you will forget
And they will forget
And it will just be another
Forgotten

Wake up early
Do things that make you happy
Until they make you happy

Sometimes we are forced to hurt
The ones we love so much
Because for them we want the best
And that isn’t always pretty

And the worst part is when you
Can’t even explain the to them
Why you’re hurting them they
Get confused , hurt and then of
Course they have to leave but you
can’t do anything but watch them
Because its you who caused the pain
All because it’s what’s best for them

As much as you want
them always in your life
You love their souls so
You can’t tell them
You watch them
Walk out that door
I am so sorry.

I wish there was another way
I wish I could tell you
How much I truly love you
But not in the way you do

Bound by invisible chains and shackles
People were not meant to be fit into boxes
Lies ingrained to a innocent child, lays agenda
Like puppets to discard once the shows over

Perspectives open them, free your eyes
From these illusions that have trapped you
What you are chasing it comes at a price, once
a rebel disappears another is chosen sacrifice  

Think once, twice looking at material things
Is it really your heart, soul, desire burning
Or them feeding you a broken rhythm
Do you not long for art, music and truth?

Could we possibly be, born simple
believed to be made complex
take a second thought
is this what life is really about?

If I tell you I’m not okay
What will you even say?
Don’t worry, it’s fine, i understand
I do, its not, don’t say I can

Questioning why mediocrity is, has
Never been an option in these eyes, was
Bliss such a hidden gem or grey
A colour never set in my way.

Intensity, passion every single day
Beautiful moments happiness with a
Mere flower, yet raging storms when
The skies change, already lost my den

Some a million times over, I ask
When will i find my four leaf clover
Will I ever see beyond strong colour
Emotions dreams nightmares all together
Maybe grey was never made in my favour.

He showed me peace in chaos one day
I felt strong with the word you don’t say
Just don’t tell me its going to be okay

seeing an array of colours
walk, walk stand, people with
lost wandering eyes
feet in search, directed at
aimless circles to be fulfilled

a heart of purpose
sits quietly cornered
in a wooden four legged
chair, fixated eyes

searching for that same
direction within means
filled with hope to seek
purpose behind people,
lost in the
invisible.

Each morning remember that you may not live until evening;
and in the evening,
do not presume to promise yourself another day
Be ready at all times,
and so live that death may never find you unprepared,
Many die suddenly and unexpectedly...

Let your word
Not be wasted
In the ears of stubborn

      Let your silence
      Silence  the noise
       Of ignorance and negativity.

       hold silence
       Is to be at peace with  yourself
       Know the worth of your word

      Trust the process
      Stay in faith
      create the future you ought to have

      And where you ought
      To be.

two in love, a picture found
hair as dark as midnight brushed up
against olive skin carelessly their strands
strayed in a lovely mess feather light
jawbones grazing the scalp
of this lost, doe eyed girl

straight, long eyelashes batted
against the eyebags you never had
somehow still those eyes were
never truly asleep in a facade
without the guilt of a lie

a gentle smirk painted across
that beautiful face you had
lighted treaded freckles
the softest of brown eyes
that always held cunning

mysterious how those eyes
asleep against her waved strands
managed to pretend for care
a yellow collar you had
a woman under your spell

and i had too, those brown eyes
beneath the thinnest lies
stood betrayal beyond lust
unimagined sin
without regret

in this picture
we slept

breathe in
put your lids to rest
would you dare to
hold in the fear
of all forgotten

put your lids to rest
do you hear waves
do you fear the dark
within the clouded mind
your harrowing thoughts

beneath those vivid images
you so desperately escape
lies quietly fluttering dreams
and if you are willing to see
within a shrouded cave below

quaint a little box,
innocently awaiting finding
familiarity in its sense
its owner long gone
holding the spark
you search.

Not concerned with actually doing,
Holding on to meaningless things,
Running in a cloud, bound to fall

Is there any hope, future,dream
That isn't meant to be crushed
By an inch, the slightest

After an eternity,
Blossoming and blooming
Closing, dying
Forgotten.

But if you let his lips touch yours
My dear it will be beautiful
You'll feel heaven like never before
Butterflies in your stomach

You'll be dancing my darling
The world will look beautiful
He will say the sweetest things
That will melt your soul

But one day, sweetheart
It isn't going to be the same
One day it'll cease to be there
You will taste blood in your mouth

Bitterness in every smile you see
Because of the pain you can't
See pass, you saw that you
You used to smile like that too

And now
You don't know how
To make it through another day.
Every day is living hell

The picture of him
On your table
Because
You still love him.
Even if he broke you
Into a million pieces

You still believe
He will change
He will come back
You keep hoping
And it kills you

Like a imaginary dam
Holding back the tears in my eyes
Waiting for someone to care
Who'd of thought I'd be so vulnerable again,
Even worse, being hurt the same way
All over again.

Once I let it happen,
I swore never again
To let someone in so deep
They become a part of me

I fell, stupidly in love
For you half-baked lies
Couldn't care less smile
All in the shortest while

I turn back to poetry now that
I am broken once more
And when all else is lost
I know I have truly sunken deep
Lost beyond control
Yet with a smiling face
The day goes on

You don't know how I'm hurting
Or how much pain you cause
You ask me are you ok
Perfectly fine, as always
Except when you look away
The dam breaks down
Perfectly fine, as always.

And in the end
Im so proud of you
You've come so far from your pain

I know if I was you I wouldn't of made it
Running running that's what I always did
Looking for a shield to protect myself

You faced the truth head on and let it cut you
It shredded you and hurt you so much
They laughed and I was ashamed,
Today you prove to be the man you are
Standing tall and strong

You proved you love us
I love you and I'm sorry for hurting you
I love you so much
Thank you.

You both proved me wrong
So wrong just when I was about to end it all
You stood up and fought for me
I'm so proud to call you my family.

The pain spreading everywhere
You never understood me
But then again who has
All alone in this cold dark vessel

How sorrowful it is to know
No one out there cares
If I wake up tomorrow or not
If I did not benefit them somehow

This crushing reality is too much
For a little individual like me
How have I sinned so hard
For not wanting to hurt another

My times up
Enough of holding on
Letting go
Giving in
Goodbye.

You wouldn't miss me anyway.

Hello, this is me
Yes again, do you see
I left once out of fear
Afraid you'll see or hurt me

Its been two months now
I've been away from you
My love for writing remains
Why must I hide
From a mere two human being

How may you hurt me
In ways I havent already hurt myself
The depths of sorrow you may fathom
Has only made me realize
I will never be afraid again

I am just as bold
Strong and courageous
You thought you could scare me
Oh my dear
How wrong you were.