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 Feb 2015 Pam McMill
Pax

Brief moments, temporarily
to build it lasting needs hard work

its either work or with someone, i've learned that in life, hard labor must be done to built stability.
This is how forever starts.*

Eight-letter word, poisoned goodbyes.
Fabricated stories of promises,
concealed truth--
Pure lies.

I tasted death, hot and raw,
On my lips.
Sipping more, letting the venom creeps.
Deep.
Down.
Deep.

Dark becomes darker now.

Squeezing sounds of muscles coming faster in the background.
Undeniable pain,
I scream.
Swiftly losing sane,
A traumatic dream.

Alone.
With no one to find me.
To save me, I  know,
No one will dare.

Time hanging is lifeless.
Naked, with only hopelessness.
A picture of creature so worthless.

Yet, from somewhere You came and found me.
My day is doomed, but You set me apart.
My bondages, brokeness,
mistakes and awful past.
You paid it all when You shed Your blood.
A selfless love.
You'll never know what life is until you die--
in Christ.
 Feb 2015 Pam McMill
jls
My father made a new friend
Mother does not approve of.
Draped in orange and white,
bears a fire in her he cannot handle.

But with lips pressed against her
he took in her hidden ugliness.
She was too clingy.
He said,
"I can't breathe."

Those three words became the worst we'd ever heard
right behind
"You have cancer."

Time became a distant tune;
waiting,
waiting,
waiting.

My father has expiration dates
tattooed under his eyelids.
He plans his funeral like the 50th birthday party he will never get
but there will be too much blurry vision and black,
no one will know the difference.
This one's for you, Dad. You're holding out and I'm so proud of you.
 Feb 2015 Pam McMill
Luna Lynn
i went for a walk in the woods today.

and i can tell you there is a newfound peace among fresh fallen snow,

and i can tell you the crows are smiling even though they await the spring,

and i can tell you the trees create a gothic illusion that all thoughts cling to air,

and i can tell you that although the wind blew the water was still,

and i can tell you that even my very own footprints could not lead me back home.

i went for a walk to clear my head,

and became more intrigued by the mind instead.
(C)Maxwell 2015
 Feb 2015 Pam McMill
Luna Lynn
my great grandmother said,
Oh, freedom
oh, freedom
oh freedom
over me


my grandmother said,
and before i'll be a slave,
i'll be buried in my grave
and go home to my Lord
and be free


my father said,
no more weeping,
no more weeping
no more weeping,
over me


I say,
before i'll be a slave,
i'll be buried in my grave
and go home to my Lord
and be free

Oh freedom!

Oh freedom
over me!

how thankful am i
how blessed am i
to be black
and
be free
This poem was inspired by stories from my father. This is me envisioning generations within my family singing this song (Oh Freedom) at different stages in our history. To me, that has such meaning and power.. With our society becoming more openly racially divided, its as if we have moved backwards in time. So when I find myself becoming angry or hateful, I think about what my family endured in their time, about how my father's birth certificate says "*****" on it, and how he had to drink from "colored only" fountains, and how he grew up picking cotton from sun up to sun down, It means so much to me as not only a light in the dark gospel song, but to know this was sung from the very lips that began this family in a time where freedom was not for us, touches my soul to the very core. My family is a strong family and our ties are bonded by love and Christ.
My great grandmother was a slave, and to see where I stand just three generations ahead of her, really places into my heart the realization of how much power I truly carry in my voice and just how much strength I carry in my veins.

(C) Maxwell 2015
 Feb 2015 Pam McMill
Luna Lynn
dancing to a broken record
of solitary tunes
the hand i held is but a mist of rain
gone far too soon

light a candle in the wind
of visions locked away
as we waltz among the memory
forever our song shall play
(C) Maxwell 2015
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