I think
therefore I question
I question
therefore I anguish
I anguish
therefore I tremble
I tremble
At the the thought
of the answer

Love can wait at the age of 19
but the thing is,
I can't fall inlove.
I fear attachments as much
as I fear death,
there is no guarantee that
I will be madly committed
with someone at 24.
I seek to be alone for
the rest of my life.

A.X

While you’ve been smiling
I’ve been dying.

While you’ve been laughing
I’ve been crying.

While you’ve been kissing her
I’ve remained alone.

While you’ve been talking with her
I’ve been drowning in silence.

While you’ve been dreaming
I’ve been thinking of you.

While you’ve been happy
I’ve been writing stupid poems
And wishing death upon myself
Because I see no light at the end of the tunnel.

Words spinning round
The galaxy in
My head
The Big Dipper
Ready to scoop up
Errors in the
Making
Planets join in company
The moon lighting
Its way
And stars
Are dancing
How much does
The Milky Weigh
Is there a
Black Hole
To hide these
All in
Star light
Star bright

Sometimes I'll write a poem here
and think it's my best ever
but then the very next day, oh dear
it's in the trash forever