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woolgather May 2016
Strum the strings!
Strut the insolence in your words!
Crinkle my patience once more!;
My thoughts cannot hinder yours,
Behold, annoyance!

Hog thine face with your cyclical rhythm!
Tug my attention with your hostile nonsense!
Get me caught up in your storm of noises!
Clack, clack, clack, goes your whining!;
My patience goes dwindling.

Heed not my rant,
I merely ramble my thoughts;
Ramble to seem innocent,
Ramble to seem worthy,
Ramble, to seem alive.

Sailing the sea of words,
I have chosen little to none;
I am exhausted by your recurrence,
None seem similar, yet none different;
Chastity is not enough to rest your cause!
Because apparently, one phrase out of their mouth isn't enough; they'd rather preach their nonexistent crises
woolgather Oct 2017
I'm here again,

It's me.

Again with many words,

Few messages.

A voice so loud,

Yet inaudible;

A resolve so strong,

Yet so spineless.

Again I'm overthrown by my weakness,

Again I turn to my drugs.

I wish that'd be the worse part of it all.

I lay at the couch half-sleeping, half-awake,

I lay my head down, I lay as my body ache,

I lay down and to there I see

A hand pulling mine;

Thrashed to the lobby.

Found me at the bathroom,

Still with breath cut short,

Left to me was rapport I hope so much to abort;

Body left helpless, body failed a last resort.

Now I write, barely sleeping, barely awake,

Life threw with everything at stake;

I can never unfeel the unspeakable things you've done,

I can never remove the handprints you have left upon me;

I can never undo the chaos you have left to run,

I will never forgive how you moved me.

Breath cut short,

Innocence left shorter.

Once. More.
I RegRet Not StAnding UP To Defend MysElf.

Now it's gotten much worse.
woolgather Mar 2017
I've always wanted you to love me,
Then I realized you'll never love me back.
Then again I tried to take hold of senseless hope;*
Then it came and I realized what I lack.
The will to move on from us that never happened
woolgather Nov 2017
He has said it over and over
I just want to die
You have told him albeit too much
Time will just pass him by

I guess little do you know
That what he said was true
Not even a miniscule consideration
When he said he didn't know what to do

Then lo and behold, hear ye, hear ye!
He's trying to pull himself out of misery!
He does horrible things to make himself free;
Nothing but a forlorn fallacy!

A fantasy where he exists as but a memory
A scenario where, for once, people would actually care
A time for a short-lived glory
A place where in a sense life plays fair

But where does it land him? Nowhere!
No such conditions exist!
He knows it all too well, too much to bear,
But it was a dream that he couldn't resist.

Blades pirouette his dainty skin,
Medication he ought for a happy pill
Serotonin,
Shy of death and never for the ****.

I guess little do you know
That what he said was true
How it echoes when those words flow
Out of his head it cuts through.

I guess little do you know
How he wanted you to know
How he didn't want you to know
How it hurts him to cease knowing

How he cursed not knowing
How he needed it so badly
That he thought of nothing but forgetting
How he told you everything

Promises
Words
Isolation
It hurts.

He did it once he'll do it again
But the sadness only grows stronger
The light once seen; light now dim
If no one hears his pleas, at least his words cry for him.
It hurts
woolgather Aug 2018
all i can do is write,
words that tell how ugly truth can be,
or so i choose to think;

all i was asking for,
was another soul to see;
but i guess it was otherwise;

now it's clear,
it was never friendship,
but rather obligation;

pity that eats from the inside,
a guilt that never tires;
a guilt that you don't deserve;

it's hopeless praying to the stars:
they might shine even if they're dead,
how would it reach the heavens?

is it my selfish cause,
to ask for one broken to stay,
even if it cries to leave?

is it my cowardice,
to think that there's no way;
but the easy way out?

maybe the angels are deaf,
or better yet, blind;
unless the light shines, it's nonexistent;

how i wish the ground would swallow me,
but i'm guessing,
even the ground would gag on my choices.
I do hope I get killed already
woolgather Jan 2016
Sitting down on untouched chairs,
Crying under the barren moonlight;
Sulking on memories that never happened;
Like coffee getting cold as time passes by.

Spinning around endlessly
In the corridors of longing;
I plea to find the exit to my madness;
The light to my darkness.

Everywhere I look, haunting faces mock me,
Of the memories I've held on for too long;
Memories that are far to unspeakable to be real;
Like an image of pure imagination.

Damnation caresses my cheek
Offering me a baragin;
With deadened eyes, I responded.
I gave in.
Still wothless.
woolgather Dec 2016
I still get dumb when it's about you;
When they talk about you and I,
And those things that can never happen to us.
I still yearn to have those moments,
Moments that we'd have only to the both of us;
Yet the only time we'll see each other in the eye,
*Is when you're about to leave me.
The mind flutters around the heart
woolgather Dec 2016
What a fool's work it is,
To obsess over love never found.
Love that's in front of your very eyes,
But is not given time to be acknowledged.
I wish I could change that;
I wish we could change that...
*Would you like to?
As the fluttering mind strikes the flames, it burns its wings
woolgather Aug 2016
I try my best to ignore you,
Yet, here I am, this poem's for you.
I look away when I'm around you,
But I guess you do the same, too.

Ever since we met you struck me;
Whenever you're around, I'm happy,
Yet when you're around I feel awful,
As if what comes next is always terrible.

I see you as a something else,
For you I'm just a statistic.
I know I'll never be a somebody else,
Even so, my heart starts to panic.

Yes, I'll admit it: I'm still in love with you,
Though, still would be just as false,
I never stopped loving you,
Although you never felt it because I am too scared.

And yet here I am, trying to write something,
And yet here I am, expecting,
Though I have always known that it'll be nothing,
At least my hope's still standing.

Euphemism won't hide my message,
Please read between the lines;
I love you, and I'll never change;
I love you, and that's my promise.
I don't care if you ***** from reading "I love you" too much
woolgather Jan 2017
Divided attention,
An ultimate disgrace.
Thoughts flying free,
Albeit a fluctuating pace.
Random in the happenstance,
Then you in another place;
Haven't been myself, in this silly case.
Before, I have loved you.
And still though to this day.
Yet I feel different when you're around me;
I haven't known what it made me say.
I feel so far when you're not here,
But now I feel farther when you're near.
My heart hasn't changed its beat about you,
But why would my head not think of what my heart can do?
I know this is senseless,
It's a waste of your time.
Before, I wanted you to read my words,
Now I hide from you, thoughts sublime.
It may be a stretch, but I hope it'll come through:
*I lost hope unlike before how I felt for you.
And it ends (not really)
woolgather Sep 2017
12:27.

A **** holy time when my mind shouldn't be thinking of such things;

Yet here I am,

Frail and desolate.

An uneasy heart and a volatile head;

I could just explode.

I could just cease.

I, I could just—

Never mind.

Never mind not knowing.

Never mind not being here for me.

You,you couldn't listen anyways.

At least you'd keep me company.

Just like a room dim lit.
I don't know if I spew out real words

But

I still miss you

Even if you remember me as a last resort
woolgather Aug 2016
I know I shouldn't expect,

*But we're just an hour apart.
We aren't even us
woolgather Apr 2016
Clicking and clacking, keypad strums,
Shouting every word it conjures,
From the mind of the insane,
To visions quite humane;
Unsettling ******* of words.

I serve not to your entertainment;
Sovereignty still reigns,
It is yours to spend a tad of time, or not,
I merely am placing my thoughts with words;
For it might explode if I bottle it in my brain.

Masterpiece would be an overstatement;
Nonsense would, truly, be an understatement,
Mediocrity seems to fit my anecdotes,
For what one sees in front of them,
May hide something much more hideous.

Wrap your thoughts in my words,
I implore you in your attention,
Yet, who am I to fend off nobody?
I may speak highly for myself,
But, honey, I try to sound like everybody else.

My ears buzz with white noises,
Words seem to fly off my head,
Like a flock of birds startled briskly,
Quite a description, I know, I've tried,
**But I just seem to be a distasteful poet.
A bloated philosophy.
woolgather Mar 2017
Don't try and question me when I start to get cold over you;
I started doing so by the time you said I was the one;
*And you lied.
Nothing
woolgather Aug 2016
Chasing attention,
I ache for the praise;
Chastise me for all I care,
The truth never ached for me.

Why do I dream of getting the medal,
When familiarity already won;
Say something nice for once,
Get dismissed a hundred times.

Some say I do good,
Some say It's too shallow;
Try to put yourself in my shoes;
Let's see if you run home sane.

Never ending philosophies,
Infinite judgments,
Running around in circles,
I guess the system has no breaks.

Fall from the podium,
Under the two minutes of your speech;
Close your mouth for once and listen!
Knowing everything is not knowing all things right!

Don't worry, you won't see me for long,
I'll excuse my pathetic self from your presence,
Besides, you'd like it better if I'm deteriorated, right?
**When the broken is still breaking.
I don't need the anesthesia
woolgather Jun 2017
06/05/17

I know no one; it is very awkward;
They threaten to take our phones.
Such foolish tyranny.
Rambling people are  around me.
It is unsettling to say the least.
Loud.
I hope I make new friends though it seems highly unlikely.
The jester laughs at the fool's misfortunes.
I feel like myself more when I surrender to the voices in my head.
They know me better than I know myself.
I am ashamed;
As I profusely try myself.
**The words I write are uncanny
I guess a pointless journal
woolgather Jun 2017
06/06/17

I was forced to sit and watch;
As they spit the flames they bring about;
I was forced to sit and watch
As those I knew turn anew;
Seemingly void of the past that held them back;
Seemingly void of me.
Maybe it's an omen;
That people are better without me;
As they spit the flames they bring about;
I burn.
In jealousy.
In regret.
**In sadness.
I guess a useless journal.

Not even close to half-assed poetry.

I'm very sorry
woolgather Jun 2017
06/07/17

Once more I am in nowhere;
Surrounded by people who know nothing;
Nothing of the grief I hold;
As I stagnate in the standstill of my time,
Revolving are the worlds around me.
The black sheep begs the wolf to eat him;
But even the predators elude him.
Such a sullen fate;
Yet the black sheep is grateful;
**As he says his last goodbyes.
I guess a useless journal

Now more senseless than ever
woolgather Oct 2018
06/08/17

Red ribbons.
Such as my thread of fate is malleable,
They toy with it.
Twist and bend and cut.
To their desire;
Without consideration of me;
Or what I would feel
To them, I am obsolete.
To truth, I am obsolete.
I cannot be saved.
I have accepted that fact.
All that's left of me is to suffer.
Good riddance.

What they are is unbeknownst to me.
What I am is unbeknownst to them.
They do not see the sadness behind the smiles.
They do not see the broken soul inside.
And I ponder if it is for the best.

"What makes you think I'm so special?"

If I would sail the stars,
I'll take you with me.
If I could get the world's fortune,
I'd give it to you, too.
Too bad
woolgather Jun 2017
Red ribbons.
Such as my thread of fate is malleable,
They toy with it.
Twist and bend and cut,
To their desire;
Without consideration of me;
Or what I would feel.
To them, I am obsolete.
To truth, I am obsolete.
I cannot be saved.
I have accepted that fact.
All that's left of me is to suffer.
Good riddance.

What they are is unbeknownst to me.
What I am is unbeknownst to them.
They do not see the sadness beyond the smiles.
They do not see the broken soul inside;
And I ponder, it is for the best.

"What makes you think I'm so special?"

If I could sail the stars,
I'll take you with me;
If I could get the world's fortune,
I'd give it to you, too.
*Too bad—
I guess a useless journal

Longer and more useless
woolgather Jun 2017
I cannot contain the grief the grief much longer,
I ache and yet nobody cares.
**** me, please.
I write cyclically,
And I am aware of my flaws,
Yet I ache to let them know;
To rescue me.
The one I want to rescue me most is the most distant; it is futile.
Oddly logical; my sadness.
I hope to see you again someday.
Goodbye.

I don't know if I'm happy.
But I know I'm depressed.
Even if I smile,
I'd end the day wishing I was dead.
Everyone who talks is temporary.
The grief I feel is evergreen.
I may move, but I stagnate.

I'll stay here
Even when you're gone.
I'll stay here
Even if they don't want it.

I'm settling down,
You keep running in circles.
I'm tired now
But you still keep leaving me;
I won't stay for long
I'll just rot away.
I'm settling down,
But you keep leaving me.

I'll stay here,
Even when you're gone.
I'll stay here,
Even If they don't want me;
I'll stay here,
Even if nothing's left;
I'll be here,
Then cry, and bleed, and die.

I'll stay here,
Even if you're things are all what's left;
I'll be here,
*Then bleed, and bleed, and die.
I guess a useless journal

I keep getting pulled down when they move higher up.

That's nice
woolgather Jul 2016
Calamity is brought to my attention,
Operate the mechanism of damnation,
None of truths will be salvation,
Forget my existence; my heart into portions;
Ease the damage of deadly deterioration
Shroud deed to words of fine selection;
Screaming T-O-O L-A-T-E — too loud for abbreviation.
The race keeps going on even if you know you lost
woolgather Jul 2017
The release of energy

Such as I cathartically spewed out mine;

You shiver.

Do I bother you that much?

Yet;

Even if you are bothered,

I'll still feel the same way;

It doesn't define how I really am;

If you could see how I'm capable

Of making you feel the same way;

As I cathartically spew out my energy;

Hold my hand.

*Maybe then you'd see why.
I'm sorry
woolgather Jul 2017
We’re just ticking death sentences
But I think you have a higher chance to live;
We’re both ticking death sentences
But I think more people would rather pardon your case.

We’ve never really met,
Just talked.
We’ve never really met,
Just laughed at each other’s jokes.
Can’t say fate brought us here;
I don’t believe in it enough;
We’ve never really met,
Just involved.

I hope I could read your words.
I hope I could hear your songs.
I hope I could be enough to make you feel better;
But I never knew what to do.

We’re polar opposites;
See it in our words;
But I know we share a common pain;
One much painful than the other.

Your words have organization,
Your words have power;
Mine has none;
No meaning, just rotting.

Nevertheless, I ache to see the truth you write,
Maybe then you’ll see my truth barely understandable;
Maybe then you’ll give me second thoughts,
Even if we’re both ticking death sentences.
I'm tired
woolgather Apr 2018
And so I might've said
Goodbye a million times,

And so I might've sighed
And given up more than once.

And so I might've typed a lot,
Words that tell the truth,

None seen correctly
Always the spur of youth.

And so I might've said I'm done.
And so I might've lied.

And so I might've said I'm fine
Then cried a million times.

But I'm still here.
And I still ache.

And I still say so.
And I'm sorry.

And I can't put off
The urge to end

Because it's a part of me
That never makes me pretend

That even if I want others to live
I don't want to fend

And so I can't put off
The urge to end.

And so I say I'm sorry
Without an end
I don't even know where my mind has gone off to
woolgather Nov 2017
Everyone expects a clear explanation
Just cause they don't see the scars
Nor the pain that burns in my throat
Or how bitter everything tastes in my mouth

Everyone thinks I make it up
Just cause I can stand
I wish I could just lay down and give up
But I won't, because you still won't believe.

Everyone thinks I am a liar
But if I drank the whole bottle
How would you feel?
If I fell limp and lifeless?

Everyone says my words are empty
Just cause they can't carry the weights
Why pretend to care?
What gain will you have from it?

Everyone says I'm wrong.
But none of them know I know.
Everyone wants to knock some sense into me.
But none of them know I have more of it than them.

Everyone thinks of me differently now
Everyone thinks of me, deranged;
Everyone thinks so since I continue to live;
I wonder if I grew languid.

Everyone has their words to say.
Everyone has their censures to tell.
How cowardly of me to hide in these words,
Without a voice, without a resolve.

I wonder if you knew what burden I bear
I wonder if you felt how ugly is the ugly
I wonder if you felt sympathy without a hidden agenda
I wonder if I—
Everyone please pretend I'm okay.

Don't bombard me

I'm a mess

I know

Don't rub it in my face
woolgather Jul 2016
I once knew a man
Whom I'd see everyday
And I'd swear he'd love all and hate not even one.
And I'd swear he'd always smile through the day.

He'd be joyful and kind,
Handsome and smart
He'd let no one fall behind,
He'd let everyone take part.

How could a man so perfect,
Feel so insecure?
As to torture himself with pain and regret,
To poison himself that "nothing is the cure"?

I once knew a man
Whom I'd see everyday
Who'd see the goodness in all, though not an academian,
Who'd let nobody alone to enter the fray.

How could a man so perfect,
Feel bad about himself?
To torture himself with pain and neglect,
To put his big heart on the shelf?

I once knew a man
Whom I'd see everyday,
No one thought he'd be a madman,
No one thought he'd never want to stay.

How could a man so perfect,
Doubt himself so bad?
As for him, his emotions, adject,
Seeing himself, a terrible lad?

























I once knew a man
Whom I'd see when he goes past,
No one knew who ruined his fun,
Sadly he took the breath that was his last.

He may be joyful and kind,
Handsome and smart,
But he'd let his tears slide,
And break his big, big heart.

He wrote some notes to leave:
"Sorry I didn't tell"
"But I just felt so bad, I just couldn't live."
"Sorry I didn't tell"

And to the one who'd be reading my letter,
Who feels the way I do;
I'd know everything would be better,
Please don't give up on you.
I'm sorry
woolgather Jun 2016
The damnation of he;
Is the damnation of I.
A message to my hell of a father
woolgather Jul 2017
Drip, drip, dripping.

Such that of a broken faucet.

Twisted in all directions,

Hoping that the flow would stop.

Yet;

It lessens, but never ceases.

Time shall come,

When the faucet reaches its breaking point,

It'll all pour out.

Flooding;

Drowning;

*Drip, drip, dripping.
woolgather Jul 2016
I'd wish I'd grown a pair of wings,
So I could soar the world swiftly,
I'd wish I'd grown a pair of wings,
So I can see all, even far from what I see.

I'd soar up high beyond the skies,
I would take you with me;
I'd lay upon the cotton clouds;
As we'd talk and ponder dearly.

I'd wish I had a heart of gold,
To be right for that heart of yours.
I'd wish I'd had a heart of gold,
So I'd not see the worldly horrors.



















But Cloud 9 suddenly crumbled apart;
Taking us with it,
We'd be saved alive, but distant;
Conjuring nothing sane but explicit.



















You've changed all that much;
I'm not sure if it's for good.
I saw you change but happier,
I guess I'd let not myself protrude.

The sky grew suddenly darker,
Blue turns to ashes;
I'd be changed by our memories,
Oh wait — your deceit.

I'd wish I'd grown a pair of wings,
Now I know it'll never come;
To see all, feel all, know all,
Even what I thought we would inevitably be.

I'd wish I had a golden heart,
Even though mine's always been rotten,
I'd be happy, though I'd never soar,
*Watching you fly with another angel.
Flap
Pluck
Fall
woolgather Apr 2016
He chirps his last voice,
Clinging onto limbo,
Awaiting his judgement;
The caged.

Shackled by his thoughts,
Bound to torture by choice,
Sulking on putrid grace,
A monstrous mongrel, indeed!

"He is but but a wasted chronicle!",
"Letting himself be battered!";
"Why is he so weak?!",
"Why does he strive to live then?"

They cannot see,
They cannot understand,
The imbecility he does,
Has a grim reason behind it.

His demons cackle in his head:
"Die, you oaf! Lay lifeless in your cowardice!"
He struggles to become whole;
He struggles to be fine.

He screams silently:
"Help me end this sadness!",
He cyphers his voice over vision,
He cyphers his voice over words.

He reaches his hand out,
Hoping someone to answer;
He is beaten black and blue,
Yet he tries to plea.

As his voice begins to fade,
As his body lies down, helplessly,
As his mind goes blank with darkness,
As his hope is violently eradicated.




















*Please. Help. Me.
I just can't anymore.
woolgather Dec 2016
The only thing I can do if I'm broken,
Is to write ****** poetry
If not help others overcome their ****
*What a ******* Drama King, right?!
This isn't even poetry
For
woolgather Apr 2016
For
I saw you smile that day,
Love soon overcame me.
Obtusely, I ignored this feeling;
Viewed it as nothing but wrongs.

Endlessly, I pondered your presence,
Your name, your voice, your everything.
Oaths are not one of my afflictions, yet
Under you, I'd swear upon my life.

A marvel, you truly are. However,
Lost is me between my thoughts;
Jousting is my pride, and my heart,
Overwhelming are one another.

Nights and days,
I am waked to the thought of you.
Am I to be like this, eternally?
Leaving my young heart insane?

Why? Why do I feel this way?
Adages are not enough for my toilsome affection;
Yes, I am afflicted by my affections,
Sounds contradictory, but true.

Wailing is my heart, truly,
I am desperate for you.
Lest would you privilege me of reading this ode,
Lest you privilege my aching heart.
I know it won't be real, I know it can never be real. But ****, you just make me feel so ******* crazy.
woolgather Nov 2017
Is it that you forget me,
Or is it you try to ignore;
Is it that you think I'm already better,
Or is it that you think I am a lost cause?

I have been here countless times already,
Yet none still ease the pain;
Qualms of grief and guilt,
Screams of help but none so inviting;

I'm still in this mess,
I'm sorry for dragging you in;
But I have no one else to go to;
No one wants to stay.

I just hope I pass by your thoughts,
Reminisce the pain,
How we hurt together,
Unknowingly but with consent.

Then again I guess I hurt you more,
Maybe that's why you would not rather.
I guess it's my fault but I still need you;
Please don't forget to remember.
I don't hate you
It's just that
I wish you do remember me.
It hurts to see
Without a word
I miss you and I want you so bad
But I'm scared I'll hurt you more
But I'm so tired of hurting alone
This is foR you.
woolgather Sep 2018
A coward;
A weakling,
Unable to stand on his own,
A sorry mess of a poet,
With nothing but lies
To tell and feel;
A scapegoat,
Without a soul to lean on,
One that confides solitude
In the few people he cares about,
And that leaves him about;
A restless ******,
Without strength to be alone
And an eye for uncertainty;
Yet he hurts by himself
And hurts himself,
Yet he says he's fine
With a smile close to crying,
Yet he speaks not to others
And not even to himself
What he feels;
He still stands
But he thinks not for long,
Not for long
Until he tries again.
And fails;
A defect,
Useless and better off dead
it's getting too much of me
no matter how much I scream for you to save me
you don't hear it
the world may have eyes
but never, will.
woolgather Jun 2016
Don't fret if heaven has her now.
Don't be saddened that she isn't around anymore.
Instead, be happy she's in a better place;
Won't she like seeing you sad?

It's true that life may be a cruel thief,
Stealing everything and everyone we love,
But none in this is world is ever so perfect;
We all will feel that way one day.

They'd say Hell's empty,
Since all of the demons are roaming around.
It's true, indeed;
Yet for a reason, it is so.

Never be rash to those with blackened hearts,
Never be rash to life that caused you to suffer,
Never be rash to doubt the faith you hold on to;
Everything happens for a reason.

Think of it this way:
She has fulfilled her duties,
She has fought valiantly for every second of her time;
She, has been a warrior.

Chastise me for not feeling this way before,
I simply speak what my mind and heart shouts.
I may be from the other side of the world;
**But I'm still just a person comforting another.
My condolences. I may not know you, but I do hope you could read this, Brian McKay.
woolgather Jun 2016
Transparent or stained,
The choice is yours to make.
Either pristine or grand,
It always seemed adamant;
Yet one slip away it shatters.
Your perfect piece, ruined.
Your image, destroyed.
Sudden scattering;

Piece

By

Piece.

Hold

Carelessly,

Wou­nd

Your
self

Pro
fuse
ly.

Put

It

To
ge
t­her

Again,

Watch yourself fail miserably.

Look

At

Your

Effort

Crumble.

Sulk
­
At

Your

Own

Foo
lish
ness.

N
o
t

­A
l
l

T
h
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Glue ain't helping you honey
woolgather Jul 2016
I never got to say goodbye,
I never got to close the lie;
I never backed down from the high
I never said we didn't fly.

I'm sorry if you'd feel offended,
It's my fault that you're tormented,
Our bond became distorted,
Our spark abruptly ended.

You never said that four-letter word,
Neither did I, but from another, you've heard,
My heart of paper suddenly burned;
I know I've left you quite disturbed.

I wrote these words without the tears;
I've ran out of them, thinking of the fears;
The fears that left me stumbling here,
That what little love will suddenly sear.

My heart feels cold;
I've got no one to hold;
Our emptiness will mold;
In my heart, numbness, behold.

This words will stream endlessly,
So I'd cut my pen abruptly;
It's fine: You've left me lonely;
It's fine cause you're left happy.
To someone I for some reason grew very distant to
woolgather Oct 2016
We talk a bit,
And then we stopped.
We glanced a bit,
And now it's done.
So much lost in so little time;
So much yearning
For someone I can't call mine.
Retracting back to fallacies;
Fallacies of one in blind love;
Love seen through a one-sided mirror,
Unbeknownst of what the other side may be.

We sat beside,
And now we're apart.
It felt so close,
And now it is so afar.
Too much for making a reel
Of something that'll never be real;
Or the fact that I still hold on to;
That there still may be a chance;
A chance to be the one to hold your hand;
Unbeknownst if you would hold another.

It felt like nothing;
And now it is pain;
At first it felt like sunrise;
Now I feel as cold as rain.
Too much for expecting
For something to happen
And now it's all gone to ****.
**I wonder if I was wrong to take that step.
woolgather Jul 2017
Awoken by the voices

That echo in his head;

He falls to the gravity of his thoughts

Nothing more than a temporal predicament;

A case of misfortune

That felt like a void awakening inside me;

So strange

Yet so familiar;

Nothing more than someone I knew

Trying to be a new person
sloppy
woolgather Jan 2017
Lights on,
Lights off.
Stared in the mirror,
But could never see clearer.
Lights on,
Lights off.
Prayed for the burden to get lighter,
Got all but none to make it feel better.
Lights on,
Lights off.
Tried to lay it off my head,
Got too carried away by it, instead.
Should've plugged the headset when they started talking;
Should've left the words to rot when I knew where they were going;
Should've shrugged it off because it wasn't my business,
Now I can't accept anything but brash and reckless.
Lights on,
Lights off.
Should've done it,
Should've tossed it.
Lights on,
Lights off.
Had to put the lid,
But never did.
Lights on,
Lights off.
Never the path had been so light,
Lights on,
Lights off.
*I just haven't been myself tonight.
It wasn't the details but rather the distraught
woolgather Jun 2017
My life is so perfect!
I'm so happy to have this many friends;
Sunshine fills my every day!
Everyone greets me with a smile;
Roads and singing cars,
All the things I see are beautiful!
But the most thrilling part is,
Love fills me up!
Everything in my world is joyous!
Read between the lines ******
woolgather Dec 2019
I guess, it's selfish:
Not going back where it first began.

So I shoot blindly, in the dark,
Hoping that anyone would remember.

I have never been complete,
But i feel like a part of home is here.
It's Nes, trying to pick up the pieces. How is everyone doing these days? I hope you all are doing well.
woolgather Sep 2017
I'm left alone but it's okay

At least you kept me company

Even if you're not here;

Words few and random,

Yet words meaningful to me.

Words cut short;

Not more than beautiful lies.

Even you have to go,

Yet again I'm left alone.

Listening to laughter I wish I had as well,

Joy that I wish I grabbed when I had the chance;

If I had taken a whole different path;

A haunting thought.

Frightening, yes, but also comfortable;

Thinking I should be happy after all that happened,

Yet I'm not.

*Peculiar.
I can't think straight

But I still think of the feeling of how you hurt me with one-sided love

Without even noticing it
woolgather Nov 2016
Steadily functional,
Kept together everything else.
Needed not any appraisal,
Silenced the clanging bells.

Connecting one to the other,
Correlating unfamiliar vices;
Like clearing murky water,
Like fleshing out carcasses.

Tells the truth and nothing more,
Never meant to show;
But still you didn't connect us;
*You just loosened and let go.
What a ****** piece
woolgather May 2017
I'll rest my heart and lay it down
Cause nothing seems to be working
The faces I see all turn to a blur
And that's also how they see me

It should be easy letting go
Even though I'm the only one hurting;
After all I'm the only one who knows
Don't let them see how you're falling apart

Don't bother chasing what was then
If it can't remember you
Don't love when you're the only one that knew
They say that just find the truth inside you
But I can't even find me
I don't even want me

So just leave me and I'll lay down
Cause it will never get working
All the people holding my past and my present
Seemed to throw it all away

Even if it's dark, try to hold the light inside you
Even when it hurts, try and let your heart grow
Even when it seems to be endless
Don't get drowned and drunk with bitter tears

Don't bother chasing what was then
Now is what will remember you
Love even when you're the only one that knew
Let them feel you
They say that just find the truth inside you
But If you can't even find you
I'll try to help you
I'll make you want you

They say that just find the truth inside you
If you can't, then I'll be the one to guide you
They say just find the truth inside you
Don't let the pitch black darkness blind you
Im dead
woolgather Mar 2017
"Look up from your phone, shut down that display,
stop watching this video, live life the real way."
These I've heard from someone, from somewhere I have seen,
Which is ironic, as I got them from my phone and my computer screen.

I have lots of online friends and I feel less lonely,
I also have real friends but they tend to leave me abruptly;
Without gadgets, we have to talk whilst making more than a glance,
With them, we talk even whatever the circumstance.

We talk to face to face, make mistakes, say sorry;
Type with a keyboard, pick your words, less worry.
Error isn't bad, I'm just saying it's embarrassing,
Especially when it's your error that'll make them go laughing,
With social media, I can have a second chance,
Unlike talking nonstop and talking without plans.
Though, frankly saying, still do be careful,
To what you type, what you post, it can be a handful.

They say with the internet, we cause quite a commotion,
With a status or a tweet that's emotional yet without emotion,
In the cyberspace, we are who we want ourselves to be,
In the cyberspace they hate, You can be you, I can be me.

Codes and programs aptly created,
Becoming a vessel, both beloved and hated;
Social media, a platform, where one can rehearse,
Social media, an enigma, both a blessing and a curse.

Born of the era of the neos we have witnessed,
When letters were once written, now they're typed and addressed;
When once we had to know where they're at,
Now we could just dial up online, just sit down and chat!

But as time flew by, faster and faster,
From its real aim, we grow farther and farther,
Once used to connect those who haven't been actualised,
Now also to those who can now make them compromised;
Those in front of you, or even just a block away,
Because of social media, you think they are in lightyears astray.

Type your "****", your " LOL", your "*** XD",
Type what you want, but does that mean you're really happy?
Go ahead and put that colon and parenthesis,
Make exaggeration of your nonexistent catharsis.

They say they're amazing, they say that a lot,
But sometimes what they are is something they are not.
I know in this space, that we're free as we would have ever been,
Thanks to the brains and the alloys far more than aluminum and tin,
Still remember that it's also a human sitting at the other side of your screen,
Just think about your actions; if you were them, what would it mean?

Don't fall to your own damnation, don't ruin the plot,
Don't let a digital presence degrade you and rot;
If it won't do you good, just stop where you should,
Or ask a real person to help you if you never understood.

Life does confuse us, life *****, sometimes,
When everyone around seems painted in crimes,
I get that you'd seek help to someone that'll differ,
But is that someone understanding you deeper?

Chatting with someone miles away won't be a recluse,
'Cause after all, what is even there left to lose?
It feels nice even from far away to feel loved, accepted,
But wouldn't it be so much better if they were to hold you, comforted?

Sometimes a wild guess has nothing to lose yet too much to risk,
Sometimes it's better to just move by yourself and start to frisk.
Before searching the ocean of people far and wide, of those good to preach,
Try looking around you, they might be just upon your reach.

They may say words that make you feel less blue,
But make sure those words are words thay stay true.
Because letters may be harmless, words can be blunt,
But when sharpened enough become a ****** stunt.

Phones and computers are ever-easy to use,
But make sure that with it, you fall to abuse;
It makes them addicting, I'll admit,
But we also have to know they have a limit.

Try to close that screen, try to look in front,
Try and talk to one another, no plans, no punt,
We're not a generation of idiots: smart phones, dumb people,
We're a generation of breakthroughs: smart phones, smarter people.

Sometimes we become too rash and get too rushed,
We use them too much then we become brainwashed,
But it's alright if we fall and abject,
After all, no one's made humanly perfect.

It's a paradox, truly, it really is,
That when you’re too busy looking down, you don’t see the chances you miss.
But for the chances you miss, the inevitability you take,
For the new chances that you're ought to make.

Maybe you'll still make, the girl of your dreams come true,
Get married, buy a house, accept each other's peaks and waterloo,
Love and then hate, then sail through this test,
Experience happy and sad and exciting and scary things, up until you rest.

It's okay to look down and type what you feel
Just don't forget to go out and experience everything real,
I still have a thousand words that I want to say,
But all of them point you to living your life in your real way.
Too long, I know
woolgather May 2016
Walking through the same pavements everyday,
Walking down through memory lane,
Struggling to keep my pace in the present,
Struggling to forget the anchors of the past.

Tracking back isn't as beautiful as you think,
Mine tends to be tragic.
You try to reminisce those savory memories,
Like browsing reads at a bookstore.

'Twas my grave mistake, whenever I try,
Anguish always presents,
Though I try my hardest to bring back what once was,
It has been impossible; I bottled up my old self.

Acquaintances come one after the other,
Yet, I still feel isolated;
None know me as I know myself:
Twisted, deranged, elusive, terrible.

I can write on and on, endlessly;
The darkness within me is immortal as well,
I try not to beg for anyone to notice;
Though I tire myself finding an answer.

For now, this is me.
Different from what they know me to be.
I'd rather be a perpetrator than a victim,
But looking, it would always be the other way around.
Can't I be real to anyone? It seems the doors are always closed.
woolgather Nov 2017
I might **** up again.

I want to know if you still remember me;

...

I might ***** up again.

I want to know if you still care;

...

I might cease,

I want to know if I still matter;

...

But in the first place,

I meant nothing, haven't I?
I can't write now

Too many things flogging my mind

Trying to find composure

...

Yet I just might fail more in doing so.
woolgather Nov 2017
I am a coward,
But you wouldn't know that,
Because I am a coward.
Through my thoughts and words.

I am a coward,
Silent when I should've been loud;
I am a coward,
Doubtful when I should've been proud.

I shall bring shame to my family,
As some of them have brought mine;
I shall bring shame to those who surround me,
Those who said I shouldn't give up on the line.

I will be selfish,
I will be foolish,
I will be fiendish,
I will try to end it.

I have seen the ugly,
I have felt how ugly.
I have seen your sorrows;
Yet I have not faced mine.

Now I am a coward,
Keeping the things I should've said,
Nothing more than a coward,
A lost cause better dead.

Don't blame yourself,
When you come see my grave,
Put your fake face on the shelf,
For once don't be a knave.

For those I will leave grieving,
I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough;
Maybe you did start caring,
Started caring but not enough.

I am a coward.
Put none on faith,
All alone, a *******,
Alone and lost and frail.

I am a coward,
To let myself be conquered,
By sickness and my thoughts,
By circumstance and words.

I am a coward,
Without saying why;
I am a coward,
To leave without saying goodbye.

I am a coward,
To end abruptly my own strife,
I wish you would forgive me,
For giving up my life.

To those who see these words,
May my omen bring you a sign;
Don't be alone, or at least try;
Don't repeat what mistake have I.

I am a coward.
It took me so long to let you know.
I am a coward.
Hopefully this goodbye isn't just for show.
I'm sorry but I'll try to **** myself tonight.

The pain's so much to bear

A dumb decision but one I stand by

Goodbye.
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