I used to have a heart
But the streets stole it
I'm no longer a poet
Just drugged with a pen
Hitting rock bottom time and again
Its hard out here
So I grab another beer
And drink my pain away
Til a sunnier day,
If it ever comes
Til then the drugs will numb
Me and my bad decisions
And all my artistic visions
Til I'm no longer a poet
Just drugged with a pen

I'm anxious.
I'm anxious.
I'm anxious about,
the way I look,
the way other people look at me,
the way other people think I look at them,
colds,
diseases,
catching a disease,
someone I love catching a disease,
Dying.
DYING.
Everything.
I have anxiety.
It took me far too long to admit it was a problem,
it took me far to long to admit,
that staying awake at night worrying about the health of myself and my family is not something that I should be staying awake worrying about.
It took me far too long to admit that I should not be staying awake worrying about anything.
It took me far too long to write this poem
The problem with this entire equation though,
is that I'm afraid if I don't worry about it nobody will.
And then what will be done about it all?
What will be done about it all??
If I don't stay awake crying about it,
then it'll be forgotten,
and there if there is one thing that I fear more than dying,
that's forgetting.
Every part of the word forget scares me,
makes me anxious.
Forgetting,
being forgotten.
I don't want to be forgotten,
and I don't want to forget anyone.
So I stay awake worrying about it all,
that's the vicious cycle,
and it rips me to shreds.
Anyways,
I'm glad I wrote this poem.
I think it'll help.

I'm writing letters on my body
All the things that I can't say
So when you find my body
You can finally get my way

Those words will be all the twilight has left
As the sun and the moon kiss the edge

I'm writing letters on my body
To tell and untold story
So when you see all those A's and O's
Please think of me when it snows

Those words will be all the ground has left
As the dirt covers up the message

I'm writing letters on my body
To draw you a map to rescue someone else

ever since you left
i've replaced water with *****
it's dripping through my fingers
and is falling to the floor
it's coursing through my veins
still i drink a bit more

the flowers in my stomach
died the same day
i forgot you can't water them
with alcohol, anyway

so here i am still trying to escape
this is it, this is goodbye
i hope this time i forget your name.

poems flow like rivers in tide
when she’s by your side
and reclines a November afternoon
on the back of the crescent moon!

you tell her stories only for her made
as the birds their weary wings spread
when her face is west borrowed red
and you grab the last flickers before they fade!

you don’t talk of love but companionship
as night wears on and comes not sleep
the mangrove smells of long dead shells
with returning tide the river swells!

beside you walks a woman in your mist of tears
a face you hadn’t seen over all these years
she’s the woman you wonder if you ever knew
a companion a lover one dream forever new!

You walk with me  every day
Every hour you  are near me
My companion, confidant and ******
Knowing every sin and secret  

You control my life  
More than I will ever admit
Staying with me at all times
Documenting every scar

You whisper in my ear
Reminding me of what I face
Telling me I'm strong enough
Adding that's not all it takes

You are a companion, yes
But will never be a friend
You are a part of me
I will not live without

You hide but never long
I know you will return
Even though I try to stop you
My pain PAIN  PAIN  PAIN  *PAIN