your touch set me on fire
but i realized too late
that i was engulfed in flames -
burning alive
and you were not there
to extinguish me

i laugh at the irony
that love broke my heart.

i like to pretend
that i am strong
that i know how to handle sadness
but i really don't.
i am so lost.

i can't explain it
and i don't know if
it's just because i can't understand it
or if it's just one of those things
that exists in this universe
that is too complex
and too extraordinary
for the mind to comprehend

i really just want you
to be proud of me.

i know that
one day
i will be okay
and that
will be the end
of you.

do not
leave me alone here
no matter how much
i tell you to go

we were like
two doors
on opposite sides of the hall
with a band
connected to each handle
so every time i pulled
you closed
and every time you pulled
i closed
but one day
the band snapped
and our doors were wide open
vulnerable but accepting
and anxious but excited
we saw inside
the deepest parts
that no one had visited before
but i woke up today
and looked
to see
that you'd tied the band
back on both handles
and oh how that hurts
so terribly

isn't it so special
when someone
let's you see
the beautiful mess
that is going on
inside of their mind

she is the ruins
broken
and cracked
demolished
and destroyed
but
there is a reason
people stop
and stare
because through all
the damage
she is still
so
completely
breathtaking

i have
taught myself
to believe
that you are worth
every ounce
of heartache
and every ounce
of pain
that you
have cast upon me
and now
i must dig
myself out
of this hole
that i have
created.

i can't
even look
towards the east
when you rise
because i know
it will hurt

and i can't
even look
towards the west
when you set
because i know
it will hurt

but
somehow
i can't manage
to live
without you.

i am pulled
with your current
and every time
i think i am close to shore
you lure me back in
and my feet stop touching
the ground once again.

i never knew
it was possible
for someone to
hold the power
to make me feel
my highest
and my lowest
at the flick of a wrist.

i don't think you realize
that you hold
the thread
and needle
that keeps my heart
together.

i have just bloomed
and i am already wilting away

how is it that
all you have to do is look at me
with those brown eyes
and smile
with those dimples
and i just fall back
into your trap
only to be left alone again

stop me from
d                        
r                  
o          
       w          
    n
            i
                 n
                        g

keep me from falling
                           a
                      p
               a
        r
  t

carry me
h
o
m
e.