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If I can get this pain on paper...
Maybe if my words could heal the hurt...
My sorrow is now in nouns and vowels...
The letters all look sad to me...
Every period seems so final...
Like it will stop forever...
I wish i could say I don't hurt any more... period....
Why cant Grief be like a poem?...
A quick  way to not be ok....
A series of words that you know will have an end...
But I guess some poems read like a book...
Maybe this one has a happy ending...
But for now its the saddest thing I could ever be part of.....
 Apr 2015 Roman Four
Riot
i waited
 Apr 2015 Roman Four
Riot
i waited for you to see it
i waited for you to care
i waited at your doorstep
to find that you weren't there

i waited for you to hear me
in the deepest parts of my soul
while you waited for me to speak
i waited for you to say so

i waited for you to notice
the smile i'd always fake
i waited for you to see it
i waited til i'd fade

i waited for years and years
for you to look through my lies
i waited for you to see it
everything i'd hide in my eyes

i waited for you to see it
i waited for you to care
i waited at your doorstep
*and found that you moved somewhere
I use to be the girl that was always happy,
The girl who never was sad,
The girl that was never worried about the next day,
The girl that had no worries,
And then she fell In love,
Was happier then ever,
Then her demons came out to play,
Her lover was gone,
Her happiness was gone,
She laid in her bed,
While the voices drowned out everything,
They told her to trust them,
That they would never leave her,
They laid their hand out for her to reach,
She went to grab their hand,
But something wouldn't let her,
Something stronger pulled her out of her trance,
And tell this day she will never understand,
Why it held her back....
All I have ever wanted was to help you,
But all you ever did was reject me,
I tried to move on,
And one day it was getting better,
Then I heard your name,
And I lost it,
Then you hurt me bad,
And I gave up,
And when you realized that,
You called out for me,
And when you didn't hear me call back,
Then you realized what you had,
But you let it go,
And now your the one hurt,
And now im happy.
You told me I was your forever,
The oxygen to your lungs,
The beat to your heart,
I told you that you were my nightmare cure,
Then I saw you tell her the same you told me,
It tore my heart apart,
and now as I sit alone,
and I close my eyes,
my nightmares come alive..
 Apr 2015 Roman Four
Mercury Chap
Purple thoughts of sprinting mind
Beautiful, loving, a shade of pink
Wandering, stressing out too much
The thoughts blotting my mind like a permanent ink
I want to say it to him
But I don't know how to think
Of something to spread smile across that face from grim
I don't know how to speak out my heart
I don't know if I do then would we be apart
Or closer than I never thought?

I want to burst out those words
In a simple manner
But simple seems more difficult
Difficult which makes me less saner.

So soon I would
Flush out those feelings
Into a void
A
   N
D
     I
WOULD
     FEEL  
   LONELY
TO
     BE
ALIVE,
Bury the thoughts and revive my sadness
Like I did it yesterday.
Can the purple thoughts be easily flushed out?
Running
Always running
After you
And yet
You never ask
If I want to
You assume
That I follow
So I do

Running
Now I'm running
Away
It became
Too painful
To stay
I wish
There was
Another way
But maybe
You'll all run after me
Today
Sort of an organisation of my thoughts right now
 Apr 2015 Roman Four
Van
happy?
 Apr 2015 Roman Four
Van
how can you be happy when you're missing your smile?
 Apr 2015 Roman Four
Ryan Clark
Broken hearts
          Broken home
                      Broken bonds
My mind
          My heart
                  My love

No longer can we sustain
As foundation crumbles beneath our feet
This ship we built
has fallen to sunken sails.

As water rises
Waves strike bow
It fills our boat
and weighs us down

All I've taste for weeks is salt
From my eyes,
         My brow
                My cheeks
I bite my tong in fear
I beg you to change course
Yet you alone Captain this ship
 Blind to ensuing storm.

My heart is to heavy to swim my love
So I must bid retreat.
The thought of loosing you to Davey Jones
Set action upon me.

You cry mutiny
I just cry
It is not a lack of love
Just changing of the tides

How could we have foreseen
this voyage to meet its end.
We were green and rash
Dreaming of an endless journey off into the sunset...
I'm going to seriously come back to this one and revise. I thought it was perfect but one tiny change led to another and now its far from.
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