You are not a 'want', you are a NEED.

And hence, I am in absolute poverty.

We have even died 'together'
in my imagination.

There's a difference between looking and
seeing.

You can look at me,
but I wonder more
what you see.

Brown eyes,
brown hair,
barely more than
five feet tall;
my feet are small,
as are my hands;
my teeth are straight,
thanks to braces;
shoulders been broad
since I swam,
but my figure
is much less athletic
than it used to be.

I could look
at myself
and point out
a million flaws.
My forehead is much
too big for my liking,
my cheeks are too red,
my top lip is so
skinny it barely
exists,
and, if you ask me,
my waist line
could afford
to look a little more
like my upper lip.

My looks are far from perfect.
Not saying I'm hideous,
but I don't look
in the mirror
to find
America's Next Top Model,
or anything close,
at least not until
my face is perfectly painted,
flaws concealed under
a combination
of moderately priced makeup and
a rather crafty hand.

When I look,
physical imperfections
and inadequacies
stare back at me.
My overly expressive
light brown eyes
give me an
omnipotent glance,
and they beg me to
turn away,
to close them,
to put them to sleep
so that I can
see.

When I see,
it's like a whole new me.
I'm a human being
whose physical flaws
are diminished by
an overly giving, compassionate
heart,
a brain
filled of logic & curiosity,
a chest
swollen full of
endless giggles,
a throat
storing sarcastic words mixed in with
empathetic phrases;
down within me
I see
the woman
who still at times
looks and feels
more like the girl
whose heart has been broken
too many times to count
but still, despite her
womanly pessimism,
yearns optimistically
to love again.
Within me I see
a woman with confidence
and also insecurity,
ambition and fear,
tranquility and rage,
hope and despair;
I see dreams,
wishes,
prayers,
meditation;
I see a beautifully
complex soul
trapped in a world
that begs it for
simplicity and
conformity.

I guess when I look
I only get a glimpse
of the body
that feels the need
to be perfect,
to work out a little more,
to weigh a little less,
to fix her hair the right way,
and to dress in the right clothes.
The self-conscious me
who still fears being weird,
who cares what others think,
who worries if my parents are proud.

But when I see,
out comes the woman
who says
**** the status quo,
I can't be put in a box,
I'm beautiful the way I am,
and nothing stands
between
me
and achieving
my
dreams.

When I look,
I don't see,
but when I see,
I see me.

I feel the brim of my glasses graze my nose,
and I know,
even once I take 'em off,
my vision
is better
than ever.

Whispers in the night,
*Silent but beckoning.
Shadows fall,
Breathing out smoke,
As a calling.
See the winds rise,
Ever so subtle,
Even death can ****** a man.
By the riverside I stand
My eyes fall upon
This god forsaken land.
The beast in its slumber,
But in its wake, comes death,
A tyrant breathing out fire.
As the river flows
A deluge into the dragon's lair,
Buried within the mountain.
The weary and trodden,
Their cries echo thru the night.
The shadows sing a serenade,
To the silence that reigns the dark.
The beast lies within.
Fire and hell
*Darkness and fallen men.

Let the stars tell you my story,
Of how I fell and rose, but crawled back inside.
Of how with I wind I conquered the skies,
But with the rain I fell to the ground.
Let the stars tell you my story,
Of how I let my heart have its way.
Of how I sat alone by the river
And felt the wall around me grow taller.
Of how I loved but never felt loved,
Broke my self and never stood up again.
Let the stars tell you my story
How I'd look to them every night.
Sit there by the window,
And sing the saddest song of plight.
Watching them shine with brilliance,
Wishing for it to shine through my mind.
Let the stars tell you my story,
Let them sing to you the song I taught them each starry night.
Someday when I leave through the back door,
Maybe then you'll get to know why I cried,
Maybe then you'll know the pain
I hid from you all this while.

Heavens not so far away

                               My Heart Hears Your Echo!