For people who call each other best friends
We do put up a pretty bad show
Don't we?

Is this how it ends?
All our memories forgotten in the dust
We walk away with no love
No feeling for the other

Did we push it too far?
The boundaries set by society
We broke them with enthusiasm
A spur of the moment thing
And now I guess
The consequences must be faced

Maybe you never had the strength
Your conviction false
Maybe it was all too much
Too many emotions to handle
And you chose
To run away from all of it

Easier I presume
Than dealing with one like me
Yes you did leave me standing
All alone in this rain
And yes it breaks my heart
To say this
But we are done

I can't wait for you
*** it hurts too much
Like my heart being ripped into nothingness
I can't hold on anymore
And be constantly disappointed
So this is goodbye
For how long I do not know
But goodbye nonetheless

It was always you and me
Us against the mundane cruel reality

We carved ourselves a haven
within the harsh reality of human nature

A bubble that fit just us two
Filled with dreams of a better future

A cave filled with warmth
That became our world of happiness

But that never was enough
You ventured out to seek new possibilities

I was left behind all alone
Still lost in a past that no longer existed

So I too now take my first steps out
Into a different world from the one I knew

The journeys that lie ahead of me
Seem terrifying yet surprisingly intriguing

Giddy with new excitement
I venture forth an experienced warrior of life

I’m not important anymore
Not a priority he thinks
Whose feelings are worth noticing

You say it’s difficult
To get back to how we were
You say its hard to be
Just what we used to be

And honestly,
I don’t know
What to say anymore
I don’t really know
How to feel about this

It truly feels like the end
Of everything that mattered
Everything I ever gave a **** about
Lies smoking in the ashes

*

You’re breaking my heart
Into a billion gazillion pieces
Why can’t you see that?

Just for these last few months
Could you not try?
To maybe give a ****?

You’re blow torching it all
Everything that was precious
Even yourself

Burning away the pieces of you
I hold dear

Change is evident
Never to be avoided
Or run away from
But doesn’t truly mean
To break away

From those ones who’ve always cared
The ones who gave a ******* ****
Always about you

Who loved you completely
And unconditionally
For all that you were
And could have been

I guess this is you
It always has been you
Way deep down inside
The core that I pretended didn’t exist.

This is wrong I whisper
And you agree
Yet your hands refuse to move away
Remaining firmly on my sensitive waist
My face a mere inch from yours
Breathing in the same heavy air

We remain still
Connected by our heat
Held in position by those arms
As we gently begin to move
A graceful pace at first
Every movement sending ripples
Scurrying down my back
As I fail to stifle my groans

You gently whisper
That I'm your best friend
''We should stop'' is all I shoot back
And you nod in reluctant agreement
But our movement never ceases
The pace just increases
The rustle of clothes more defined

I pull away in guilt
Our laboured breathing filling in
The silence of unease
''This is wrong''
I mutter again
More to myself than to you
Angered by my own lack of restraint
''So why can't we stop?'' You reply
Piercing me with those eyes
Even in such a pitch black darkness

Your fingernails graze my skin
Ever so softly
And once again we begin
This slow dance of desire
Neither of us able to rein in
These disastrous feelings
Slowly your fingers begin their journey
A new one down south
All I pray is to forget sanity
To defy reality
And just feel
Every movement
Every motion
Every emotion

Yet once again we pull away
With more determination this time
Frustration gracing our bruised lips
Struggling to gather up
The scattered pieces of our conviction
We finally settle down to sleep

Just sleep
We reason
Sharing one flimsy sheet of cotton
Our skin brushing against each other
Ever so softly
As we hope to loose consciousness
Your arms encircling my waist
Possessively so
Your nose nuzzling into my sensitive skin

I turn my face to yours
A good night resting on my lips
You lean in and kiss me
And suddenly I'm on fire
Your hands moving everywhere
Burning trails into my skin
Our heat mashing against each other
Your teeth biting away my resolve
All I can do is pull you in closer
Feel every arc of your body
And give in
To our actions

And when our movements finally cease
Fatigue settling in our bones
You pick me up and hug me tight
Kissing my neck gently
''You're my best friend'' you whisper again
And I smile in tired relief
Falling asleep easily
Encircled in your comfort
With a final whiff of your scent
As I drift off into the darkness alone.

Maybe I could be the one
Who fixed you
But only if you let me in

Maybe I could show you beauty
That all life holds
But only if you let me in

Maybe I could help you sleep
More soundly than a child
But only if you let me in

Maybe I could give you every reason
To live, love and laugh
But only if you let me in

So bear down those chains
That guard your heart

Open up the windows
That hide your soul

And for once boy,
Just let me in..

Love?
Its a belief for the strong willed
Whose hearts are reinforced with steel
But attached with windows nonetheless
Large ones
To let them in
The ones that truly matter

But for us?
It is not love that awaits
It is not possible ever afters that lie in our destiny


At least
That's what they tell us
The brave ones
The believers

We are not destined for love they say
Too broken to be gifted eternal love
To weak to choose the right one

But maybe
Just maybe they could be mistaken
Just maybe they figured us wrong

Because we do feel love
We drown in it every single day
It may not be the purest kind
But it still is love

We give up everything for it
Our bodies
Our minds
Our souls
Just for that one love

Our love is not perfect
It never was
Always tainted by desire and lust
Filled with passion and dreams
Breaking and fixing us constantly

The believers mock us
Ridiculing our love
If it is not pure it is not real they jeer

But they are mistaken
Terribly so
the truth is we can love
Probably with more strength than they

Maybe that's why they hate us
Maybe that's why they bring us down

We can love
And we will
For the rest of time
Always and forever

You were meant to stay
Right here in my arms

You were expected to give
With no holds barred

You were required to listen
To the ramblings of wonder

You were needed to kiss
With all the passion you could muster

You were wanted to hold
That fragile soul away from the wounded

You were begged to forget
All the previous misfortunes afflicted

You were hoped to love
Just like you did all those years ago

But you failed to do so
Fell short on every aspect

And so,
I need not
           Must not
                   Should not
                               Cannot
   Stay in love with you
   Not anymore