Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I like having an organized room and arrive 15 minutes early to everything because it's the only thing I can control in my life? I can't control falling in love. I can't control you when you leave. I can't control the malignant thoughts that spur up once I'm alone. I can't control myself when I text you asking if you miss me even a little bit and I can't control crying myself to sleep when you don't text back. I can't control these things and it scares me so I take it out on everything else.