Could you be loved,
Like those clouds in the sky?
Could you be loved even if
Death passed you by?

Could you be loved by another
Both giving your all?
Could you be loved
When your back is against the wall

No i couldn't.

Because nothing from nothing brings nothing like Billy Preston said, and though i sincerely and soberly wish this fact never entered my head, inside i feel as if my soul is dead
The spark of joy not gone but fading and love clearly isn't enabling
Me to get up and get started on making myself even better than what i was
So maybe I'll stick to crying like those doves

You've felt it haven't you?
That stabbing feeling
Right to the chest that seems like it has
Absolutely no chance of healing
I know, getting told No is a part of life
But hear it too often and it'll dig into your confidence
Like butter bowing down before
A hot steel knife

I'm already rather socially awkward already, so getting shot down makes a bit of painful sense
But I'd trade more than a few dollars to get out of my shell, i mean what the hell it's like trying to appease Mike Pence,
But then if someone does take interest, in me I'm like a falling stock in a market you can't trust easily, because I'm like a puppy that's been kicked repeatedly trying to find a sense of self, and learn how to once again love someone else


Is it ever going to happen for this pathetic whelp?

Have you ever felt your identity shrink?
It comes and goes
Like a thief in the night

Withering away each time
Another one removes your shirt, your pants
"Shh don't stop"
It is you in this room
Alone

He is stripping you bare
He tells you you're good with your mouth
They all do
But they never listen to you speak

An apostle named Paul said that the love of money is the root of all evil
The playwright George Bernard Shaw said that the lack of money is the root of all evil

I think they're both right, but personally i couldn't bring myself to put any money on it.

If money is evil, it seems like war that it is a necessary one
But that doesn't mean we should spend all of our time training with knives and guns
And like Mobb Deep said a shook one
Would dare to use their natural talents to earn funds

But what about doing something for the love of doing it?
What about artistic integrity and  personal pride?
Well, I'll put it to you like this.
Every artist thats had a hit has also had to miss

And if you can make money doing what you love for the rest of your years
Bless you, creative soul for culturing our sodding ears

If i could travel
Inside my mind
I truly wonder
What would i find?

Would the dreams I've had
Come back to haunt me?
The figments follow
And successfully stalk me?

Would i hear the music i
Listen to constantly
Or would i see these poems forming
And being put together miraculously?

Would i see Animals, my emotions, my
Opinions and most wretched thoughts
Personified and take horrific shapes?
Or would i remain an imagination fueled man,
And simply drive myself to be great?

Where someone can get jumped or shot due to the color of their skin

Where someone can be judged off of what extremists do for their religion

Where money justifies anything, including the destruction of sacred land

Where "you must pull yourself up! Don't expect a helping hand!"

Where the youth are criticized for not making those same mistakes

Where you can be criticized for every single breath you take

Where love, or hell even a baby dying inside of you. Isn't supported by those that call themselves pro life

Where life was once precious, but now comes closer to collapsing every day

Where you're spit on or disowned for even suggesting that you're gay

Where we cant accept abnormality, where wanting and desiring change is a sin

That's the country we live in.

So I'm being watchman, for my grandma tonight, she's going in for surgery
You know this hospital has changed, better than i thought it'd be

This mattress is about as sleeponable as a cracked open fence
I can't stay in because it's out of shape my spine is bent

Ive spent a pretty penny on snacks, and now I'm wishing i could find some relief for my back
But it's not about me tonight, it's about my grandma in her hour of need, we as her seed must attempt to pay her back

For all the things she did for us, sometimes big sometimes small
Hell if it wasn't for grandma, i wouldnt be here at all.
For bringing me my mother, and then taking up a burden of a kid,
When mom had to work late when i was sick, you always stepped up to the plate, i dont know how you did it but you did.

So thank you for everything Grandma, for we should all aspire to be half of the person you are...