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 Apr 2017 rose
scully
she, hers, her
 Apr 2017 rose
scully
there are girls who exist just like the
ocean, she is in love with the
moon she lets stars run through the
gaps of her gentle fingers like
sand she will say that she has
been in a love that burns and all she will
tell you is that it keeps her humble
and you look at her, all sad and
made up and empty space and you see
something you need to fix, some tide
you need to find a rhythm to while she
brushes her hair with the sunlight and she
fills her mouth with seashells maybe she
is not entirely beautiful because she
is not entirely here because she
would rather float around tied down to the
world like a balloon on a string and you see
this girl, all tired eyes and pouty mouths,
cheeks like wine and movements that
drip honey from her legs and you think that maybe
if you say the right words, you can keep her
close to the ground you can cover her
mouth as she wishes to be a part of the earth
a part of the trees, a part of the flowers that
grow around her feet when she walks you think
for one second, you can take all of her
not-entirely-beautiful and tame it like a
wild horse like a rose you pick the thorns off of
but you cannot love something that
cannot be restrained i am telling you, there are
girls who are made up of other people's words
and their handprints tattoo her body, she has been
hurt but she remains kind
and warm like no one has
done her wrong, and her hair is always messy and you
cannot have her because you do not know how to
love tender, you do not know how to be humble like
she does you are not soft enough to
keep her in your hands without breaking her.
she is in love with the moon because she knows she is
made up of something else entirely, she does not
need your love to keep her contained.
she does not need to be contained.
i tried to write a poem about how sad i feel but i think i ended up just writing about how i dont need anyone to make me whole. i think i just needed to write something down.
 Apr 2017 rose
blue mercury
You left your honey mouth in the cupboard, so
today your words are fogged glass
Don't you ever ponder upon the bruises you leave?
stained glass is considered art,
but it's not until you put it somewhere
to be admired that people know.
I saw you from a mile away-
like a kitchen fire
and someone's (dead) body.
But you were humming that melody
that made me seasick with its radio waves, and
made me burn bright with shame.
I always thought that maybe you'd see your
reflection in the puddles at your feet,
and that you'd try to change it
with your rain boots, dip them in the unwelcome depictions.
But I know that you'd continue on with your life,
saying that the reflected you was nothing
that you were something. You, in flesh, in spirit
You claimed you emptied your bones and filled
them with pebbles so you'd be grounded, when really,
you were just stuck in a rut,
smelling of sea water,
trying to get some sleep.
I tell myself that you were not wicked,
but why else couldn't you rest?
You sip your lemon tea
out of a little ceramic bowl,
telling me it tastes better that way,
but you weren't always all sour mouth
and sharp tongue.
You used to be fragile like a storm,
and wild as a starlit night,
diving, with the bruises painting you a melody
you couldn't hear, but saw
nonetheless.
 Apr 2017 rose
blue mercury
i want to slow dance the spring away.
i fall in love with you everyday,
and if we don't have forever
that doesn't really matter.
the moments we've had together
are enough to set fire
to my hesitation
and ignite new intentions
this is worth all of the heartache
that i may later have to face.
and all of these days
have blown my mind
because i never thought there'd be a time
when i'd love again.
you're more than a boyfriend,
you're a best friend.
and in this splendor
your love is tender
i couldn't do better
than you if i tried.
when i'm with you i'm alive.
i'm glowing,
i'm holding
onto you
because i've never loved like this
i wish,
i could say i did
at one point
but i've never ever loved this way.
which is to say,
you make me feel like the world around me
could crash and burn
but i wouldn't care,
because you put out the flames in my head,
i could say it's not fair,
how i want to compare
you to every season
love you beyond reason
kiss you until i'm breathing
the air you're needing.
but thank you
for loving me,
when no one bothered
to give me a chance
and as we dance away the spring,
your smile's still my favorite thing.
baby, who needs redbull,
when you've already given me wings?
two months x
 Apr 2017 rose
Allegra
april
 Apr 2017 rose
Allegra
sunlight brings these blessed moments
and i'd think twice before sleeping if these
cherry blossoms held me the way
i wish you would
 Jan 2017 rose
Connor Exodus
When I am older and my brain bleeds loss,
I will look for a glass under the autumn leaves.

When I am older and my heart leaks guilt,
I will cherish the hope that I have in the trees.

Once, I was older, and I used to bake souls,
in four walls of ash and of morning oats.

Once, I was older, and it was sweet like vanilla,
in a world which was so absent of hope.
 Dec 2016 rose
Just Benifet
Today I cried a river
I drowned in my own tears
For a minute or two I tried to swim
Then I succumbed to my own fears
Today I cried a river
I tinted it with blood
Pulled out a knife
And cut in strife
My very own flesh and blood
Today I cried a river
And no one else will know
Because no one saw
The knife I drew
But for a thousand flakes of snow
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