Yesterday morning
I envied your ambition into your studies and that you finished school with such good results.
I respected you for the kindness you showed to each and everyone and
I admired the massive amount of compassion residing inside you.
I smiled at your youthful craziness with which you lightened my life.
I protected you as much as I could, even if I looked like a desperate idiot.
... yesterday morning I loved you.

Yesterday evening
I labeled your words as lies and marked the actions that identified them.
I shooked my head in disbelief over your efforts to get rid of your kind and passionate self, thus
I smirked diabolically, knowing that you will never find peaceful happiness by his side.
I rendered myself in agony over the things you had done without even caring a bit about me and
I looked with disgust at the face of yours, wishing I could fill it with pain and sorrow.
... yesterday evening I hated you.

Today
I woke up with an aching head, having drunk too much at the party the night before.
I remarked the ray of sunlight dancing on the new pictures I put on my wall the week before.
I checked my account showing the last payment after I got fired at work the month before.
I repeated the moves which we learned in self defense courses I started three months before.
I looked in the mirror staring at the man you ditched six months before.
... today everything was without you.

*But why is it then, that I still can't forget you?

It became obvious to me
that you no longer cared
when I was crying at one a.m.
and you were no where to be found.

It became obvious to me
that you no longer cared
when I destroyed myself
and you never noticed or asked.

It became obvious to me
that you no longer cared
when you blatantly ignore me
right when I needed you the most.

It became obvious to me
that you no longer cared
about anything having to do with me.

It became obvious to me
that I was just your puppet

It became obvious to me that I had to end it

You left the light on in my soul,
and it beckons me.
You are the faintest cry, the smallest hope,
the last ray of sun to light up my world and
then you're gone.
Stay and soothe the fire in my aching heart,
as it burns the brightest for you.

life is full of lots of things. there is good and bad
things to make you happy things to make you sad.
full of ups and downs chances you must take
chances that will challenge and put your life at stake.

lots different things that will come your way
things that you will come across every single day.
theres some many things there in front of you
that you will have face for your whole life through.

I regret a lot of things,
But the thing I regret the most is letting her go.
Having her in my hands,
And releasing her,
Letting her slip away.
Because I was afraid of the oppression,
And hate,
That might come,
If I was to call that pretty little,
Tom boy girl,
With the brown hair and the green eyes,
"mine".

Im giving you a second chance,
Heres the key to my heart.
Dont hurt me,
Dont break it again,
Because this time,
I wont be able to pick up the pieces.

I'm sorry I'm not the girl you want.
The one who isn't afraid to kiss you with everyone watching,
The one who doesn't hear a small panicked voice in the back of her head every time we hold hands.
I'm sorry I cant be as comfortable with myself as you are with you.
But I do promise you this,
I love you and I want to be with you.
I will always be there,
No matter what happens.
I promise you that I'll be the perfect girl to love,
One who sits there with an open heart,
And a listening ear.
Honey I love you too much for this.
I'm scared.
Text me back.
Let me hear your words again.
Throw away the razors and put down the knife,
When you make a mark on your skin,
It makes a mark on my heart,
Because its my fault.
I couldn't be there for you,
And I couldn't fix it.
But baby,
Please dont go.

Im sorry to say goodbye to you,
But this is just too much,
In such a short period of time,
And I cannot take the stress,
I cant take handle the drama,
That seems to come along with loving you.
That statement is true,
I do love you.
I always have,
Since the moment I laid eyes on you as a kid,
And possibly always will,
Secretly, until my very last breath.
But I am tired of all the ****,
That follows you and your "friends",
And they tell me stories of you,
And some other girl,
That only a bestfriend would know.
I love you.
Oh how much I love you.
Darling I hate to say goodbye,
But you have lost my trust.

When I talk to her,
Or when Im thinking of her,
I cant focus on anything.
I feel buzzed,
Love drunk.