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I spoke those words, and
immediately almost choked on them
I always second guess decisions,
usually I conclude I made the wrong one

but with you it felt right, at first
now I'm only left with doubts, and the thought
that maybe it was all too soon
because there's only silence between us

you rarely open up to me
yet when you do, I feel loved
the moment is always fleeting
with you, it's  either feast or famine

now I am scared to death to even talk to you
I'm scared that I might've lost you
scared of what you'll say, or not say
when all I really want to know is...

do you feel the same way about me?
It doesn't seem like you even care that we go days without talking. I always play this game of how long will it take her to miss me enough to actually message me. ( I always lose, and end up texting you )
NARMONSEA Jan 2015
Like a coin with heads but no tails,
Chasing after possibilities, probabilities.
After signs.
After delusions, dreams, destinies.

There is no value in something that is incomplete.

There is no love in a one-sided relationship.
NARMONSEA Jan 2015
We were afraid.
Afraid of hurting each other,
Whilst in the company of one another.
But with every touch,
Every hug,
Every kiss,
We wanted each other more.

They stop us from being one.
The rumors, the jokes,
Our differences, the looks
On their faces in denial.
There was too much pressure on you.
My absence did not help at all.

So we relax, in the Sanctuary,
The bar where fond memories were made,
Of being with friends, and a great time,
But most of all, an excuse to be just
Us.

Love growing from a drink,
Absorbed into our blood, clouding our minds,
but we share the same frequency,
The same rhythm,
The same likes,
All of it.
We connect,
Our bond becoming stronger,
Mirroring thoughts.
Thoughts of each other.

Through this liquid haze,
We phase through our differences
and Meet.
Share.
Love.
You enter my mind with every drop,
Filling me with your bliss,
Embracing me in your company,
Saving me from my demons.

It is this drink that lets us hold hands
Under the table,
Away from everyone's eyes.
While I'm glad, she denies
But her shell breaks down,
Her grip, tighter on my hand,
Craving for my warmth.
This is who you really are.

It is this drink that lets us kiss
Without hesitation,
Without regret,
Whilst forgetting the consequences
Of our forbidden affair.
Underneath these neon lights,
Our love will blossom
In lust, ecstasy, romance.

It was this drink that told us what we felt about each other.*

Now I drink, but only to myself.
But with each sip, an image
Of you next to me.
Laughing, Smiling,
Crying, Yearning,
Longing for love.
From me, and no one else.

I'll sip for every moment that you aren't here with me,
Until you save me.
Until you hold my hand under the table once again.
For S.Y., I'm happy that you read this. :)
  Jan 2015 NARMONSEA
PrttyBrd
Chained to him
Bound to you
A promise of forever

Logic or passion
Pain will ensue
For I am not that clever

Not enough
To erase the doubt
In everything I do

Distance screams
As silence shouts
All I want is you
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