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I might cry in front of you
You were leaning on your car seat of your
Standard blue jeep wrangler
I could carve you of rock
If I knew how to carve
Your eyes are deep like black holes ******* in light and time
I didn't want it to end
You make me feel like I was on fire
Burgundy on my face
Ash on my forehead
I had never met someone who has a sun for a soul
It envelopes everything in its path
Slowly taking over the much smaller star I call a soul
It wasn't catastrophic
Nor tragic
The way it was so easy to be overwhelmed by your smile
How I'd be cold when you were gone
But on fire when you were near
You should come with a warning
Like cutting onion
anything you do could move me to tears
This is a warning I could cry in front of you
A sun for a soul

A diamond for a smile
Beautiful
inspired by the song Death Cup by Mom Jeans theres a hidden message in this one but im just going to tell you originally this was about how im gonna cry when this thing between us is over and im going to be really hurt
Me and him were still together?
I never said hello?
You never swiped right?
I never responded?
You didn't give me the second chance?
We decided to see The Incredibles instead of The Nun?
We didn't get the large bucket of popcorn?
You really did go to Germany after Korea?
Oh, my what if?

I’m glad I broke up with him
I’m glad I said hello
I’m glad you swiped right
I’m so glad I decided to respond
I’m grateful you gave me a second chance
I’m glad we saw The Nun
I’m glad we always get the large bucket of popcorn
I'm glad you came right back home to me.
part of sunshine collection made for erasto
When I was in 1st grade I learned 2+2=4
I liked to count on my fingers because I never made a mistake
then it got harder
12+6
I only have 10 fingers
So I stuck out my tongue
and counted my arms
But I couldn't pass 13
And 12+6=18
When I was in 2nd grade
I learned how to multiply
2x2=4
But it was hard
Because I couldn't use my hands
Or my tongue
Or my arms
When I was older
I learned how to love
Because I met you
And it was easy to add
Because everything added up to you
Then you threw in multiplication
And fighting and ignoring
It didn't make sense
So I wrote it on paper
To make it easier
But my numbers came out odd
When I had even numbers
So I went on with my odd numbers
But then you gave me division
So I carried the 7
and dropped the 5
Then I carried the weight of your words
And dropped the issues that troubled me
But my remainder never fell to 0
So I remain silent
Like my cries at 3 a.m
I remain imbalanced
Like the love we once shared
I remain broken
Like when I realized I only had 10 fingers
I get this poem published may 24th, 2018 I'm so proud this will be my second time getting published
Your boyfriend is a lucky man
But I am the lucky one
I get to wake up knowing I have a sweet caring boy
That loves me
Who's gentle when he kisses me
Who's big hands grab me by my waist and sit me on his lap
Kiss me and love me
Hold me and never let me go
I am so lucky I get to see your beautiful smile every morning
You tell me every night goodnight, and I love you
Being with you is like winning the lottery
You are so genuine with everything you speak
Or do
You make me feel special
In a way, I've wanted to feel my whole life
When you kiss me, it feels like fireworks and butterflies
I hope that you do too.
I know what we have is not one-sided
I know you're hesitant when it comes to me
I know you don't want to get hurt
But you're trying, and I see it with every call and every text
I love everything you do
I'm such a lucky woman because you love me just like I love you.
I thought you wanted only me
at least that's what you said
That's what i felt
in the way you held my hand
in the feel of your calloused finger
gentle on the back of my hand
I felt it
the sparks
the butterflies
the rockets
all of it
the dark abyss enlightened by the touch of your palm
the grasp of your fingers linked with mine
I didn't expect to fall for you
I didn't expect to want you as much as i do
But you wanted me
I felt it in the press of your lips
Your soft lips tender against mine
How we closed our eyes
through our self in a cycle of torment
that I was so willing to risk
I thought you only wanted me
but you did't
my lips were too rough
my hands were too cold
my eyes too dark
I thought you wanted me
when we would talk in the midst of the night
and smile with our hearts on our sleeves
I thought you wanted me
but I was to messed up
I thought to much
and I talked to little
I laughed to loud
and I was to needy
I'm sorry
god I'm sorry
because I wasn't what you were looking for
even though I tried so hard just to be that
I am sorry
for not trusting you
I'm sorry for wanting you
in a way you probably never wanted me
I'm sorry for being Alexis
with the cold hands and the brittle heart
I'm sorry for thinking
that i was the only one you would want
I am sorry
Tbh  this is why i dont do relationships
You want space
Or time
That what he said
So I gave him space and time
He took that time and space
And found someone else
I never know what do when someone ask for space from me
How long to wait
Before I accept the hint
If during this time its worth only speaking to you
Only thinking of you
And only dreaming of you
Cause it been only a day and I've cried enough tears to drown myself in a tub
I slept enough hours to call it a coma
And I've been out my room twice all day
I keep thinking of the last time we hugged is it going to be the last time I see your perfect face
If the last time I spent the night Is the last time i'll be able to kiss you
And that night was perfect to me
I was just so happy to be there with you
We drank and watched tangled
We smoked ****
I remember how good you look when smoke comes out your mouth
You taught me how to play pool and let me win twice
Then you let me fall asleep in your arms and sleep past 6
You are absolutely perfect to me
In everyway
I hope we can do that again
I hope we can kiss again
I hope you wont forget about the way i feel about you with all this space
Goodnight my love
Im sorry

— The End —