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MsAmendable Jan 17
It visited again,
In the way these things often do
Deep Into the quiet of night
.
This night wasn't a lonely one,
Unusual time for such a visitor -
He came as I was cleaning
Knocking at the doors of old keepsakes,
"Remember?" He said, breath on my cheek
Do you remember me?
I pause, watching the pattern of him tracing through every object
The way his wind blew my leaves Into drifts
The way my water dappled his sandy face
The patterns of these things remain
Muscles with memories I never knew
.
The mirror shows me what he might've seen,
Red eyed and pathetic,
Last hope and broken promise
I think he's thinking of me now,
But I don't think he loves me anymore
MsAmendable Jan 15
Taking all of my hunger
In the palm of my hand
I carry it with me
From the sea to the sand
.
I curl every finger
To a fist in my gut
Feeding it anger and
Sadness and glut
.
The more that I fed her
The more Hunger grew
Seeking and wanting
Far more than I knew
.
The bigger she got
The more her bite stung
Until all left of me
Was teeth, blood and tongue
.
And all that I ate
Turned right to dust
I desired no food
But wanted to lust
.
I wanted to crave
I sought to suffer
Because that state was easy
But living was rougher
MsAmendable Jan 8
The impressions of people who have touched my heart
Dimpling the glassy surface with fingerprints
Residue meets remnant meets reflection
I meet my own eyes through the coloured film
My face distorted, rippling from what I can see
Uncertain if touched on the mirror or me
  Jan 4 MsAmendable
Jess
A slow transition, yet so quick,
from strangers to healers, we went.
You ripped your skin, I saw through,
and it felt a reflection of mine.

Found a soul pleading to feel loved,
searching to feel safe and adored.
Scars bleeding, pain un-ceasing,
you knew to give, not to take.

Saw a heart that deserves love,
so lost and tired to search or ask.
Didn't know just being there,
felt healing and freedom for you.

Kindness is all you asked of me,
love was everything I had in me.
You healed, only to bleed more,
when you had to make a choice.
I gave you all I that could. But, you had choices to make. I believed you would be happy with the decision, and let you go. Only to regret it now.
  Jan 4 MsAmendable
Emma
A washing machine hymn,
spinning the sins of yesterday,
clean clothes bleeding in sunlight,
scratches etch secrets on the air.
A girl-child sprawled on asphalt,
cotton slip, a ghost’s armor,
a dagger gleams in Jesus' eye,
and somewhere, my shadow laughs.

I made it back,
red doors collecting whispers,
the absences of children echoing.
No pills for this madness,
no mercy for the lies my mother
folded into the corners of her soul.
Truth’s ghosts die like martyrs
while my third eye cracks wide open.

Acid drips from my lips,
prophecies scrawled on sidewalks,
and I’m not high,
but I see it—
the collapse, the rise,
the sharp edges of time,
splitting me from the center.

There was no pulse.
She’d overdosed, slack,
white foam on her lips,
a classic whodunit—
but the culprit was clear.
It was us.
We ****** each other
with quiet hands,
without shame.
Not everything’s a mystery.
Sometimes reality is what it is:
a cold slap, a silent room.

I’m not here for this.
I’m here to refocus,
to zoom in,
to get my apology.
Otherwise,
what was the point of all this suffering?
How did they get away with this—
the lies, the silence,
the slow burn of cruelty?

“This is best,” they said,
abandonment wrapped in soft words,
a mother’s back turned to the light.
I wait, patient as winter,
for her end,
honesty’s blade in my hand.

Sugar and salt rim the glass,
cocktails of loss swallowed whole.
Everything’s funny in the dark—
they left for unsung dreams,
forgot me in the shuffle.
I hit the ground again,
words spilling like blood,
cold turkey with my soul,
waiting for the rhythm of a door
that never opened.
This is a special one for me. Didn't sleep right my mind's a mess. Happy weekend though.
MsAmendable Jan 4
And so it has begun
That I miss you more than I ever loved you;
The deep imprint remains-
your fingers on my flesh
Grasping so tight I could not exist anywhere
except in that moment with you
The imprints leave such ghastly hollows in your absence
Sharp contours like sunken cheeks
Incongruous with the plump pleasantries,
Like pastry, I crumbled in your hands
To be consumed by your love
Such fresh and living agony!
Contrasted now by the staleing crumbs of my heart
***
Once alive with blood in every breath
What else could painlessness be, but death?
MsAmendable Jun 2024
When dinner becomes a dance,
Standing in the kitchen as the clock strikes 12,
Tomato juice dripping to my elbows
Spices spilled over vegetables raw in my hands,
The carving knife wet with sauce
Eating fistfuls of my own hunger and joy
Until I reach the end of that deep and driving primal hole
The meat pads my bones
And fills my aching soul
.
And standing for midnight mass
In the holiest place in my home
I catch my glance in the window's gleam
And am introduced to a woman I've only met
In my deepest and sweetest of dreams
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