Tock.
The voice in white faded within those last words.
Did you realize then, truly, that not only sticks and stones hurt?
As those words dragged you into the depth of its gravity, as they transformed into a constant reminder, within your shadow, as an echo.
An echo that shall linger in your ears drumming…
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
No.
Deny!
Who are you lying to?
Tell me
That’s right you cant
Because it’s yourself
And did those seconds become the third helping of a bite you never wanted to taste? Not only is that pill tough to swallow, but also that pill was hollow.
A time bomb, exploding those seconds away. That hollowness clutching within its womb; only silence and sad music to soothe your existence. Those seconds that you now want back, that were so dismissively spent on a bad moment.
Where is it gone?
It only just started
You orphaned by life, still existing, a memory waiting to happen.
And yet is still hasn’t happened
And it wont
Maybe I'm wasting my young years
Maybe I'm wasting my young tears
Maybe I'm not.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
The seconds keep ticking
They keep ticking. They keep going. But where?
Too late, they’re gone
They are planted deep in your mind a constant reminder you are not using them well
What does this do?
Causes you-urges you to use them even worse
Because what’s the worst thing you can do?
Come on you know this one…
Nothing.
Tick.
Eventually it hits you, like a bad memory.
No like the feeling you get deep in your stomach when you are about to fall
Those few seconds in the air
But s l o w e r
For minutes
For days
For years
The white voice weighed down by the words it uttered to countless similar souls, has simmered inside you, condensed and made a depression in you.
Why you?
You didn’t ask for this!
And yet you still got it.
Maybe its because you didn’t ask at all
Maybe that’s because you cant
You are the only one going through this
People surround you, who are continuing life. Continuing life to reclaim a little sanity you lost months ago
What is sanity?
san-it-y |ˈsanitē|
noun
The ability to think and behave in a normal and rational manner; sound mental health.
What is rational?
This?
You hear it now. Slow. Steady. And Loud. And Wise.
Did time become the definition of life?
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
I know you hate the truth
Like it’s all splayed and waiting
Wait.
What is the truth?
I can’t tell you
Because you don’t know
Confusion and perplexity have propagated in your mind
In every tear you shed
In every cell in every nail you bite
Answer me!
You’re the only one who contemplates a typo in a love letter
Watches out for the solitary man booing in an interminable horde of supporters.
Just go to sleep.
You’re tired
Are you?
Did ‘you’re tired’ become the embodiment of futility that harbors ‘could’ve, would’ve, should’ve
Trying to settle in as a memory of the future
Waiting to be regretted
Stop!
Why are you consoling yourself?
Because it’s easier than fallacious merriment?
Because it feels desirable?
Because no one else will.
Tick.
i wrote this at 2am when my head was pounding and my hands were shaking and my life was breaking