the worst feeling
      is missing someone
        and not knowing if
          you've even crossed
their mind

From my spirit’s gray defeat,
From my pulse’s flagging beat,
From my hopes that turned to sand
Sifting through my close-clenched hand,
From my own fault’s slavery,
If I can sing, I still am free.

For with my singing I can make
A refuge for my spirit’s sake,
A house of shining words, to be
My fragile immortality.

I want to wrap myself in this blanket,
The Fall breeze, good music,
And mellow atmosphere.
I want to drink tonight with a little bit or rain,
A sprinkle of stars, chilly wind,
And a piece of moon shine,
The traffic lights reflected on wet concrete
Bleeding red, speeding yellow,
And fleeting greens,
Lingering on my windshield.
I am not asleep,
But I am not awake either,
I'm doomed to linger
And wander through this season.

It was all a lie, wasn't it?
From the first "I love you" to the last "goodbye".
It was all a ploy. A game. A rouse.
You didn't mean any of it.
God knows I would never hurt you, and I believed you when you said you wouldn't hurt me either.
I beleieved you when you told me that you were falling in love with me.
I believed you when you said you wanted to spend your life with me.
Spend your time, energy, money.. On me.
But I was never a priority.
I was never number one.
Not in your eyes, not once.

You're not my problem anymore.
I don't have to deal with your lies anymore.
You ended us, and frankly, I'm done fighting for a lie.

So don't tell me you love me. Don't tell me how happy you were with me. Don't tell me that you miss me, that you need me, that you want me back.
I don't want to hear any of it.
It's not my problem anymore.

I can't trust you anymore. I don't believe a word you have said, and as far as I'm concerned. It's all lies from here out too.

So have a nice life. I hope you find someone who will take you as you are, liar and all.

What's hardest to do
Is letting go of what stops me
In loving you
And keeping me from being free

The chains bring me down
And the cuffs get tighter
Somehow I drown
Although I try to be a fighter

The loneliness consumed
And the darkness fills
And you just assumed
It's all by my will

But I love you
Enough to try to fight
To do what I got to do
To get through each night

But I'll give it away
Surrender everything
All of the pain, if I may,
To get that special ring

Not sure how
But I'll try!
The darkness will leave now
And there will be no more cries

I promise you this all
Till the second I die
I hope we never hit a wall
Because I'll make the sacrifice

Your blood is killing you.
You are slowly being poisoned
being betrayed
by your own body.
You laugh,
as they take away 1/10 of your blood.
You laugh,
because one day your blood
will set off metal detectors.
You laugh,
so we are not scared.
I will not be as brave as you.
I will cry and be so scared
when they take away 1/10 of my blood
as often as they can
so my blood doesn't betray me.
I hope though,
that one day
I can be strong enough to laugh
so my daughter isn't scared
when they have to take
1/10th of her traitor blood