Nothing to show for this life of mine
I float gloat smoke in my throat
choke silently violently all in my mind
My own worst enemy is greater more powerful &  stronger than it's worst you believe it to be
Let me free, break this need to satisfy
the sick ghost living within me
The earth, my moon makes me happy all it's richness, truth of beauty, vibrant colors lasting up into the night
I long for a reality where I exist with all control I'll pay the toll freedom to do what is right
Let me free, break this need I wanna have my life to just be ME

What if
Every time we showed emotion
It was all or nothing.

No middle ground.
No half-assed kisses.
No stupid side hugs.

Catch her eye and feel something
Grab her face and kiss her lips
All else is nothing in that moment.
And then you pull back
And you wait
To see her emotions in return.

Will she jump up and wrap her legs around your waist?
Will she become one with you in that moment?
Or will she feel nothing
And walk away.

At that time
You will know
Exactly how she feels.

No more of this guessing *******.
No need for any other
What ifs
If only we bared all.

Everything you feel
Every moment and movement and detail
Is played out with your every action.
Laid out on the table
And worn upon your sleeves.

"Ah, I see you love me."
They'll say as they read your pages.
But they won't need to read
Because you will be in their arms
By the time they look up.

And what if.
What if they feel the same.
What if they get to you first.

You can't tell me that you've never felt the same.
Because you locked eyes with her that one time
And it has stayed with you
Filed away in the cabinet of What ifs
Under the title of "Love at first sight?"

And she walks on
Casually filing away her emotions
In their neat little folders
In their neat little drawers
Constantly questioning
Her every decision.

So what if you act on them.
What if you kiss her.
"What if she says no?" you ask.
"What if he doesn't feel the same?" you question.
But what if
What if they love you.

What if we had to show our emotions
The moment we felt them.
And she would be with him
And he would be with her
And their love at first sight
Would be justified.

And you would grip her face
And she would wrap her legs around your waist
And you would never have to wonder
What if
Again.

If only
We bared
It all.

Your scent is on my clothes.
Or is it on my skin?
Never matter where it is,
It may as well be everywhere.
It's all I can think about.

This one goes to the real poets.
To those who decide to carry the world on their own.
To those who carry hell in their head and a graveyard of lost love stories in their heart
To the brave ones who fight darkness with darkness.
Tho those who the only answer they seek from a god is if there's eternal life for their loved ones, because they know there's no space for them in that paradise.
To those who know that suffering is the most humane feeling there is.
To those who loved and hated the wrong person.
This goes to Lorca isolated, hiding in a closet in New York.
To Unamuno craving to believe in something impossible.
To Quiroga drinking the poison of his sorrow at a hospital.
To Becquer and Espino for dying so young.
To Neruda for cheating on himself so many times.
To Machados' lost spirit.
To Marquez and his melancholic ******.
To Poe's tormented soul and his raven.
To Shakespeare and his Juliet.
To Dante and his story of woe.
This goes for the only beings who can live with a hell inside of them, and still manage to write heavenly things for those in need to read.
This one's for us.