You asked if I was going to stay, I nodded,
but I'm just waiting here until your coffee cools,
until your feet go numb from sitting on them
so you have to switch positions, until the letters
magnetized to your fridge stop twisting themselves
into "sorry." Until I feel better about not calling you later.

Last night you asked if I liked Bon Iver,
I nodded, but I only did that in hopes that I could see
what the rest of your bra looked like, because
the strap was barely falling off your shoulder,
and I know you tried to tuck it neatly
under the straps of your dress, but darling,
I want to love you like a disaster. I want to tear
into your skin like your bones are a present,
it's Christmas morning, and I'm that little kid
sitting on the stairs, peaking. I want to line up
my heart with yours like they are those fridge magnets
with the thinest of barriers between them, your chest
a tiny cage that I have the key to, hidden
underneath my tongue. I want to rock you to that song
your telling me is your favorite that I promise
I'm not going to remember the name of. I want your sheets
curled between your toes as you breathe into my neck,
into my mouth, into my brain. I want to use your ribs
like a guitar, stroke them in a rhythm only I know,
only the two of us can hear the sound.
I want to come this close to falling
for you before I have to break free.

You asked if I really had to go, I nodded,
but in my mind I'm leaving you clues:
footprints on your carpet, my belt on the dresser,
my smile as I watched you through
the crack of light between the bathroom door
try to put your hair up ten different times
before you came to bed, just so you can find
my heart between the pillow cases
as I pull my car out of the driveway.

Let's join a whistle band 
And light matches with our teeth 
Lets ask everyone when they lost track of Waldo 
Cuz I havent seen that ******* since the 10th grade 
Let's believe in all the superstitions 
A little luck is what we've been needing these days 
Lets eat sushi and climb on rooftops when we aren't supposed to 
Just so we can look at the white lights and hope that the height will give us a little clarity 
Lets ask long questions with long answers 
And know that to talk you also have to listen 
Let's watch creepy **** and wear socks with high heels 
We'll be class acts till the day we die 
Though not in the way everyone expects  
Let's spend way too much time together 
And cut through backyards in the snow 
Lets pay for our café  drinks in change 
And ask for favors because we're close 
Let's spill our guts and our laughs 
Because you're the only one who gets me 
Lets spell out words with pennies 
And decide life in ****** thrift store dressing rooms 
Let's cry and be sad 
With the promise to be happy 
And healed when the other is near 
Lets rip up t-shirts 
And change the radio in each others cars 
Let's take a million memories 
And expect the best out of life and gelato ice cream
Let's dry up flowers in the summer to look at in the winter 
And wear too many rings on our fingers 
Let's hang out with ****** 
And rent a red convertible for the summer 
Lets read books and watch Mulan
And take walks and get together just so we can nap
Lets play assassins creed 
And listen to Bon Iver (or Bone Eyever) 
And take a break from thinking too much all the time 
Lets join a whistle band 
And light matches with our teeth Because all of this has meant more to me than a million everythings

I found you in the cracks of winter. On our first date, we drank tea from cups bigger than our faces. You also told me you wrote poetry. I noticed how every time you would lick your lips before you would speak. The first time you read me a poem your window was open and it was raining. Your voice cracked and you cleared your throat six times. I was smitten. After our third date, I showed you my favorite place in the world. I took you to a bay on the outskirts of town. I told you the stories I carved into the sand a long time ago. I told you I came here every time the world kept turning but I felt as though I've fallen off, waiting for a guitar solo crash or a midnight knock on my window.

I wanted to tell you, you were my midnight knock. You let me hold your book of poems that night. There were bite marks in them from when you said you climbed up in trees back when you were as tall as the kitchen counter. We had conversations of Bon Iver and soccer as we laid on the sandy bay.

I realized that night I wanted to be there with you when the clock swallows up your time and watch indie movies on Netflix when there is nothing good on TV. I turned to look into space and swallowed all my feelings. I felt hollow when I looked at you and noticed your skin was old and tired. But you looked at me like you were young. You said I was the first to make you feel this way. I was smitten.

At first, I looked at you like a star but ended up seeing the whole solar system.

i think about you. a lot. and i don't mean at cliche 2am where poets taint their hands with ink and paper cuts. no. i think about you when i look at the sun rising at 5am. when i make coffee at 6. when bon iver comes up on the radio and i tap my fingers along the tune or when i read your favorite book and on every page i search for fragments of your fingerprint. i think about you at noon. because i'd rather have your lips than my tuna sandwich. and at 2pm because you texted "i miss you" and i replied "i love you". at 5pm as the sun slowly disappears on the horizon and is replaced by a blanket of stars. i think about you at 10 in the evening when i'm alone looking at the night sky and the incandescent moon wishing i could trace your palms the way we tend to trace constellations. i think about you at 3am when i say my prayers and i whisper your name to God with a ghost of a smile. i tell Him i must have done something good to deserve you. it seems that you're stuck in my brain. heck, you're in my veins. and i don't ever want you out of my system.