my ears refuse to hear, and my mind refuses to believe such:
"a woman should not-!"
"a woman cannot-!"
"a woman shall never-!"
"no woman is better than-!"
horrendous words from irrational people.

a woman can sit however she wants to - crossed legs or like how men do,
a woman can wear whatever she wants to - size, length, style don't define her; the woman herself is the beautiful view,
a woman can drink, smoke, cuss, and can say no to whoever - you may be on level two, but she is too,
a woman has the every right to be treated like a human,
a woman has the every right to go beyond the four walls,
a woman has the every right to cross the limiting borders,
because we are the women,
we are more than the color red; more than our crimson red cheeks; our bright red lips; our vaginas; our period; our polished nails.
we are fierce as the orange fire, bright as the yellow sun, wild as the forest greens, beautiful as the blue reefs, and got purple hues in our skin.
we are rainbows more than just its beautiful colors -
the rainbows you sometimes fail to appreciate -
women are the rainbows that will never raise the white flag.

To me
you were the
one
but to you
I was only
a part of
them.

maybe it is just too scary to open up,
the judging looks invalidate what you feel
the fear completely destroys you and engulfs
all the courage and strength that's left
inside the wounded body of a pretend soldier

or maybe not.

maybe we really got each other's back,
softly patting of heads, and caressing of the hair
sweet kisses blown in the air
things that happen when we're together
parting ways, we become strangers

or maybe not.

maybe it is just all in my mind,
that we're on the other side of bad
not the worst
we're good together but not the best
we fit each other's missing piece
but hurt each other so we could fit
in the world we think we should be, at ease

or maybe not.

maybe the truth really creates a fool,
with eyes, it's still blind
could see but refuses to accept

maybe i'm a fool,
who believes i'm not.

As the rain outside gets louder,
With our favorite song on repeat,
I kept thinking, will I get better?
Will I cry again in discreet?
No, it was never easy.
To heal by yourself,
to keep your unsaid feelings in the shelf.
Every raindrop I hear, makes it harder to cover
Makes the pain heavier than ever
Every raindrop I hear, makes it harder to be strong
"I can last long, I can go along"
But it still hurts, I'm still stuck on that repeated song
And you're already on the next track

Woke up in my cold bed, i feel blank
Looking at the other side of it has made my heart sank
My tears are calling me again,
Like a clock, who doesn't stop ticking
I swallowed the big lump on my throat
And started to say what I feel in the form of silent cry
I kept asking myself, is there an antidote?
Will these tears soon run dry?
I turned the shower on, wishing this will wash the pain away
Every drop covers the tears from today
It makes me look like I'm still okay
Every drop, and I still feel the same way
I still feel like a drop, or perhaps, I really am
I was up there happy before you let go of my hand
And I got dropped on the ground.

you were always so dedicated in fixing my hair
everytime you stop, you smile and stare
i was so sure the galaxy was in your eyes, not outside of earth
fast heartbeats and halted breaths right after you've found tranquility in my shoulder
when tears have filled my eyes you were there
your chin rested at the top of my head trying to make me feel better
i've never felt so beautiful and fair
until you told me i was, you even swore
those ways got me and my soul ensnared
by you, a debonair, and your words
but do you really care?
i have thousands of questions hanging in the air
i don't ask for i already know the answer
maybe you do, until you've found her.
maybe you do, but i can never be her.
maybe you do, and i wish i was her.
maybe you still do but now i just want to take me back from you
oh please, tell me i still could.