i am deleting
every word
i wrote against your skin
until you forget
i even wrote to you at all

i thought i stopped loving you the first time
but the thing is people kept coming and going
but no one has ever made me feel the way you made me feel
i keep reaching out to anyone who would take me
this empty shell of a person
with the hope they can fill my heart the way you could
but a part of me knows that the second i lost you
i would never be full again

shes got me coughing up flowers
again and again
and though i love them
and i keep every petal
i can not breathe

i have to stop falling in love with her
because every time she begins to fade away
i can feel my heart break more and more
and i want to move on but i'm afraid that she may want me back some day
so i have to stick around
because i want her to love me
i want the next time to be forever
i want to keep the barrier broken this time
even though i know
she will build it back up
until she becomes the piece of me that's in love with the past

my given name slipped out of his mouth for the last time
how sour it tasted
and man
did i want to spit it back at you