Bittersweet.
Hot and cold.
Sweet and sour.
Both extremes with no in-between.
The excitement is life-giving.
The pain is gut wrenching.
A drug that fills the emptiness.
But slowly kills you inside.

“Do you really think we’ll make it to the end without giving up?”
asked the mind.
“I’m really exhausted but she sure is a fighter!”
said the body.
“We will not give up and we will keep on fighting no matter what!”
exclaimed the heart.

Today was such a good day.
“why don’t you just die?!”
I’m not even that tired.
“Stop lying to yourself.”
I can’t believe I woke up early.
“why don’t you slit your wrists when you get home.”
And I still have all this energy.
“Nobody loves you.”
Ooohhh it’s almost Christmas!
“You have no one.”
Time flew by so fast!
“They’ll get over your death.”
It’s almost my birthday too!
“Your existence is pointless.”
I sure am getting old!
“You have nothing to live for.”
I am slowly dying. jeez.
“Why don’t you just die then?!”

Maybe if I tell my depression
That I will never get tired of it,
and I will always be here for it,
it will leave me too.
Cause that’s what they all say
and yet they leave anyway.

Sometimes I’m on top of the world
then someone pushes me.
Even the slightest touch
Sends me spiraling down
into the sinkhole
that I tried to escape for years.

It’s dark here.
I cannot breathe.
The silence is deafening.
I cry for help
but the only response I hear
is the echo of my own voice.