You're in my veins and the only way to get you out is to bleed out until I'm nothing.
*but I'm already close to being nothing

my mind
will not
find itself
to you
anymore

Here!  Take this stick
They are coming for you
This is the fight of your life
you versus the lions
with naught but a stick in your hands
the distant roars a constant reminder
of the shadows in your memories
you cannot cry out for help
with an elephant on your chest
you can't even turn away
From the trainwreck of your life
drugged in a chemical cocktail
that your genes made for you
forced into your system
by little sensitive triggers
or really nothing much at all
a roller coaster you never wanted on
buckled in and you can't get out
you can't get out
you cant' escape the darkness
that closes in on your vision
or the racing of your heart
hammering and fluttering all at once
terrified that this is how you die
while also kind of excited
knowing that you are dead anyway
what is one day sooner?
it would be so easy
just a little slip and a bit of blood
or a quick trigger and a bullet
the brainpan goes squish
it would be so easy
to drop this stick and fall upon it
like some old fashiioned tale
I wish I could help you
to tell you that stick is really a wand
and you are capable of magic
with a flick of the wrist
you can start to change it all
that the lions are real
but they are very slow
with gums instead of teeth
that these shadows are only there
because you did not add light
they will recede and never leave
but they also won't have control
I wish I could help you
but all I can do
is remind you that what you hold
is not just a stick
and that you are not just sick
you are not your condition
but made of starstuff and determination
that you once had dreams too
and how much I love
the legacy of your heart
written in your eyes
pain and joy and compassion
I wish I could tell you that I too
learned to use that magic
that my lions became kittens
soft and sweet with just a little bite
and my shadows became shade
that I rest under when the world is too much
because it always will get that way
you will have good days
and bad days
and both are ok
it's not easy to wave that stick
it's not easy to roar back at the dark
this is the fight of your life
but you, and your life
are worth every swing
because you are perfect
and kind
and made of magic.

What we hear
We don’t understand their plight
As we are more afraid of them than they of us
Thank God they are over there and not here
Their ***** little disease will ruin us more than religion
Thank God they are over there and not here
Some impenetrable God-Shield has protected us from the pestilence
We must guard against those who would bring them in our bubble

What I feel*
I understand their dilemma  
And love them
And want to hold them
And thank God, for they will find peace someday
I wish more would help and nurse them
If only I had the skill to care
And do more than pray

you painted a beautiful sunset,
full of color and life,
and said it represented me.

you said i was art.

three months later,
you poured black over the canvas



(cjw)