Everything was fresh and new
in the beginning for both me and you
Our stories untold waiting to escape our lips
only scratching the surface, exposing the tip
of the glacier we call our whole being,
the rest hidden under black waters waiting to be seen
Our journey to the abyss has been dark and cold
Can we last one more minute without any hold
to the ground as we dive into the unknown,
searching for things that have not been shown?
Will you stay here with me underneath it all
to wait for something luminous to fall?

Like an anchor in choppy waters
my heart is made of steel
and sinks to the bottom of
the sea of my emotions,
holding my whole being in place
until the waters are calm
and peace overwhelms me

My heart always forgives
but my mind never forgets
The past and the present
are filed inside my head
so I can refer to them
in the imminent future
just incase my heart
gets lost in a suitor

With every decision I have made
and every scenario I've ever played
you were there in some shape or form
and I wish I did not include you in more

My naïve youth led me to believe
that you were the most important thing to me
But the poison you possess finally seeped out
and I took a sip of it without any doubt

The poison made me sick without my awareness
altered my spirit, my soul, my mind, and my kindness
You balanced me on your hand, slightly tilting back and forth
to watch me struggle until I finally hit the earth

How ignorant and foolish I was back then
to think that your love was deeper than other men
Your attraction to me was merely through your eyes
and you bothered not to see what was hiding in my mind

But for all of this I must thank you in some sort of way
as morbid as a thought like that can be portrayed
because I hit rock bottom not too long ago
so the only way to move is up, which is where I shall go

With every inhale of smoke
comes every exhale of regret
My need for relief relies
on paper and tobacco
and I am chained
to their demands