one day my ocean will drown you

one day you will drink honey

from my palms

you'll trust me with your tongue

you'll want me to speak for you

under white sheets
for hours there i'll hold you



i'm still not soothed.

your hands don't match

your body

i don't see a soul in you


you can be soft,

but you are a statue of gold

a skyscapper

that reaches only as far as the city

there's nothing here that soothes

you either

Heart aches,
Head aches.

All I wish...
Is to feel nothing at all.

Become Stone.
Never to be alive.
Again.

No more,
May the night.
Conquer me...

drank water
from my tap
get off I said
do not take my mind
the past belongs to you
not I

Numbed.

Yet, feeling.

Deadened.

Yet, living.

Forgetting.

Yet, remembering.

Loving.

Yet, hating.

Saddened.  

Yet, smiling.

Missing.

Yet, satisfied.  

Lamenting.

Yet, appreciating.

Cinching.

Yet, releasing.

Holding on.

Letting go.

Always here.

Forever disappearing.

Fighting to be lost.

Daring to be found.

On the flip side of every page.

1695

There is a solitude of space
A solitude of sea
A solitude of death, but these
Society shall be
Compared with that profounder site
That polar privacy
A soul admitted to itself—
Finite infinity.

I woke up
a year ago today
innocent
unknowing
And went to bed
broken and heavy as stone.
They say that when
you lose someone
that day is forever
the end of your old life
and the beginning of the new one,
the life without.
Each day learning
how to cope with
the gaping hole
that was once filled with her.

Poetry
to me
is taking
my pain
and making
it sing.