The marigolds had inspired me to add black eyed susans to my garden. Their yellow petals were enticing and their black centers lured me in. There was just something about them that kept me coming back to tend to them, to waste my time in order for them to flourish. The marigolds I had previously planted had died due to my neglect, but I found I didn't miss them much when my attention was focused on the black eyed susans.

I started my garden with a little patch of marigolds I got from the market down the street. They were pretty, I guess. I really only chose them because there was the easiest option, since they were already grown and all I had to do was stick them in the dirt and look at them. I walked passed them most days without a second glance.

I can only hope that you can understand the message in my eyes.

I don't need to look into a mirror to see that I'm turning into you.
I already know that I am slowly deteriorating.
Nightmares plague me,
So horrible I am trembling and barely breathing when I wake.
There isn't a single person who makes me feel safe.
You always told me you were wary of everyone.
Including yourself.
The words that fall from my lips are formal, protected, carefully calculated.
My words sound like their coming from your mouth,
Like you have possessed me and will never let me free.
The wanderlust is the most painful.
I'm pulled by the sharp knife twisted into my gut.
Wanderlust makes me reckless. Wanderlust slowly kills me.
Tell me, darling,
Am I haunting you like you're haunting me?
The further we are apart, the more we see we are alike.
Before too long you'll look in the mirror.
You'll see my face instead of your own.

This place is numbing. This place is overwhelming.
Rumors say that this is the place dreams o to die.
What happened to the streets paved with gold?
I have to get out. I have to get out!
I can recognize every face I pass on the sidewalk,
And I know that every face recognizes me.
I can't live like that. I can't live like that!
If my face is known, my mistakes are remembered.
But I cannot remember their mistakes because I'm dwelling on my own.
I fear if I remain much longer, I will die if their hatred doesn't **** me first.

i hate my heart for betraying me whenever i see a rare smile on your face

Cover your eyes. Cover your eyes.
You there.* You're better off here.

The world is spinning far faster than you can comprehend.
Coloured streaks race past you.
Keep your hands to yourself, don't reach for them.
They're dangerous.

Surely you'll be better off where you are,
With your eyes covered by scarred hands.
Surely you'll be better off where you are,
where you can't see how out of place you are.