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Loneliness
A feeling I won't want to share

Loneliness
A feeling that I can't bare

Loneliness
A dark hole
Not known to all
The world is made out of different colors of people. All of us are born equal. We are born naked, hungry and cold. Beyond that we must struggle for what we get. Some likeneed not try as hard as others, yet life is still a struggle. If we were to stand side by side and look at each other, we would see only superficial differences. In truth, the color of humanity crosses borders and ideological lines. We must embrace the rainbow of different people in order to live  as the human race in peace and prosperity for all.
Why is this book bleeding,
As I read it during the dark of night?
Wait, the tears are coming from my eyes,
And my chest is tight.

Drop, drop,
Plop, plop,
The blood stains the paper.
Plop, plop,
Drop, drop,
My hope has dissipated into vapor.

I slam the book shut,
And hurl it to the other side of the room;
She will be the death of me,
This house, my tomb.
I’ve asked it before,
“Is it my heart or my head
that wishes I was dead?”
My doctor would say it’s my head because
I have depression, a sickness of the mind.
My mother would say it’s my head
because the other answer would be too painful.
My friend would ask me what I think because
she understands I am logical more than emotional.
But what is my answer?
Is it the sickness that makes me want to die?
Or is it truly how I feel in my heart?
But is it possible that it’s a mixture and it’s actually
my soul within that makes me suicidal?
Sometimes the hard road ahead
Is the easy way out
A whisper is often easier to hear

Than is a shout

Calculations don't always
Add  up to solutions that you seek
There are times when we are stronger
By accepting that we're weak
That doesn't mean that you should
Try to cover up every scar

Scars can be badges
Awards
for living a life
Scars are reminders
Of lessons once learned through
Trouble and strife

Sometimes the easy way out,
Is the hardest path you can take
Denial
becomes the weight you bear
That your body just can't take
A monkey riding on your back
That you just can't seem to shake
So ....
If you carry it throughout your life
Don't complain to me
About how much you ache
that buzz starts
and my palms flood with
sweat.
the needle hits flesh
and it’s all familiar;

I’ve been here before.
still, it’s all forgotten,
except for the idea
that the images I’ve
asked him to mix up
on my arm are very comforting
to me.

Our Lady of Guadalupe
and an ink pen,
I’ve grown up surrounded
by both,

so to stir them together is safe
in its sacrilege,
not sacrilegious at all;

permissible in fact,
because of their combined power,
a display of faith in my own
ability to create, to destroy
darkness and demons

with notebooks and prayers
offered from a small stage,
through a live microphone,

or in a coffeehouse with
the newsman,
the laureate,
the tiger,
the bundle of nerves,
and the denim-clad
troubadour.

Our Lady of Poetry
will watch over us all,
in our church,
the church of the spoken-word.
*
©P&ZPublications; 2015
-JBClaywell
new tattoo!
“Hell…”
You didn’t let me finish my greeting
But I suppose I’m a prophet
Because I described how I’m now feeling
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