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It's easy to miss,
All the things we never had.
And now I miss you.
and
she gives me
   with no expectations of getting returns,
thumbs up
   reasons to go on
loving all the
     days grey cold
or sunshine warmly
     in unconditional highs
I wish to lift her up
          sanctify
our love
   fight our demons
live forever
   propose
eternity
   to her.
 Nov 2014 Mary Alexander
Love
You see
A person only truly falls in love
Once in their life time
And once that time is used up
There is no more.
You can lie to yourself
And to others
But if you were truly in love with them
That love cannot be undone.
I am in love.
A love that won't go away
With my best friend.
I fell off
The bridge of love
And into the waters
Where he followed
But his love came with strings attached
A bungee
And he jumped back up
And left me sitting there in the waters
While he's up on the bridge
Calling me up there
While I'm wishing him down here
And I have no bungee.
It's a mess.
 Nov 2014 Mary Alexander
Austin B
You continue to exemplify everything beautiful in this world
The heavens above exalting a thousand trumpets
Symphonies hailing from the mountains,
Her intoxicating smile glistening, biting my lip in allusion.

Your eyes unimaginably delicate,
Thinking of you, a piano chorus dwindling on repeat.
Your bashful beauty,
Alway makes rainy days come to a hault.
So much wrong in this world,
Pressure, decisions and guilt,
And I am just here admiring you.


Everytime I look at you,
My lump heart skips a beat.
Clenching my sweaty hands,
I have seen you a million times before
But you mesmerize my love struck mind.
Every inch of you, impeccable and unchangeable.
There's screaming in the other room,
School papers covering the floor,
Music blocking everything.

My brain drowning in thoughts
Stressing,
Falling apart

Loneliness overcomes me
Choking me

The temple of my soul is crumbling
Drowning in black tar
With no hopes of a savior
She laughs too hard 
She laughs too much 
But she's waiting for death 
And lives to die another day 

She believed in faeries 
And rainbows
Glitter made everything glow 
And laughing made everything seem okay

She forgets too less
And pretends too hard 
So she runs as fast as she can 
From the past 

Until her lungs burn 
Then places her hands on her chest
To feel her heart thump
Like the fear of giving up
 Oct 2014 Mary Alexander
Erenn
These lines on my neck
Scars scarred of regrets
Reminding me everyday how i’m blessed
If the rope didn't break by chance
If those 'angels' hadn't come in time
I’ll be in a place where heaven & hell doesn't coexist

I live my life differently now
Every day breathing in spores of hope
Everyday with families & friends pulling me back-
from my melancholy past
Every time i intend to plummet

These strangers that i now called friends(angels)
Saved me from myself
When they saw someone from their pane
With a hope pulling end
They cut through every enmity
Cutting that rope of contempt

As I dropped
Head first kissing the floor
I knew then & there
Why my life is so eminent
Why let love end my existence
Why there are still people who cared
Why leave when there's-
so much more to live for

All these answers gushing in
Making me realize
Just like a rope
You can either use it to end your life
Or you can climb your way to the top


*Choose before you lose to the noose.
There are many form of suicides. And all of them are obtusely deluded.
More or less painful or the quickest way to die.
But hanging yourself by a rope that helped you to pull difficulties in life is just a stupid way to die.
So if u want to die, My best advice is wait.
Wait until you aged.
Wait until you can't remember your sins.
Wait until you cant remember why you wanted to die.
Flaws are meant to happen.
But don't let the intent/influence of suicide fool you.
You can never go back.
I assure you.
You can never ever come back.
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